


When it Rains, Angels are Crying

by pandorasv13



Category: K-pop, Super Junior
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boarding School, Blood, Gangs, M/M, Past Abuse, Psychological Torture, Reform School, Romance, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-02
Updated: 2013-07-02
Packaged: 2017-12-17 11:53:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 47
Words: 57,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/867223
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pandorasv13/pseuds/pandorasv13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He simply stared…stared as if nothing were wrong. Those black eyes filled with such lack-luster scorn. The seed of mercy had long since been uprooted and crushed. His jaw was set so firmly, so coldly, you would be unable to see him as human. There had once been something purer, kinder in the frozen black pools. How had that person been able to take such humanity away from another? What skills did he posses that allowed him to do the improbable?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> All "Bolded" chapters contain Mature Content of varying degrees.

 

 

_Many people firmly believed they knew Park Jungsu well. In fact, a majority would claim there’s not much to say about the mild-mannered fellow, except for his exceptional leadership qualities. They saw him as the StudGov president, the straight-laced honor student, the good-natured hyung, and most of all, the caring leader – someone who was born glowing white light and accompanied by the sweetest golden rays of heaven._

_Yeah sure, that totally wasn’t bull shit._

_The greatest people carry the heaviest burdens. It’s like the saying goes, bad things happen to good people while good things happen to bad people. In Jungsu’s case, he happened to be a player for the bad guys. He loathed the truth but there was no denying it. Those memories would continue with him for the remainder of his life, unforgiving and ruthless. He had truly embraced his current character, going from bad to good. However with that greatness, once again, comes the crushing weight of sins past. If there were a way to escape the dark, to fill the depths of his tainted soul with the warmth enclosing his physical being, then Jungsu would have already dove forward and inward._

_And so he lived with the past so deeply buried, no one could reach it. That was how he thought; the only thought that allowed him to move further into illumination. Jungsu or rather Teukie-hyung, had never dreamed of the possibility of his past coming to him though…._

_***  
_

**He simply stared…stared as if nothing were wrong. Those black eyes filled with such lack-luster scorn. The seed of mercy had long since been uprooted and crushed. His jaw was set so firmly, so coldly, you would be unable to see him as human. There had once been something purer, kinder in the frozen black pools. How had that person been able to take such humanity away from another? What skills did he posses that allowed him to do the improbable?**

**So for that cruel person’s sake, this pure child had brought forth the hottest metal, braced it, and pressed the key to another’s fate. And now he lay there with slack limbs and gaping eyes which no longer saw the world. Dripping wet hair flung across those formerly youthful features, adding only to the horror of it all. His lips had drained of all color, unable to even absorb the final drops of rain that coated them. The warmth of his body, his breath of life and sin, none of it mattered anymore for there would be no one to remember him but the murderers of present.**

**The innocent killer held the weapon of choice close to his side as he knelt before the scarlet soaked victim and thus faced the one who grasped tightly to the deceased. He pressed his cold free fingers to the grieving boy’s jaw, stroking his slick skin comfortingly. “I always knew you were an angel…,” he said calmly, black pupils intently gazing at the victim’s friend, “if you weren’t then why would you be crying with them?” A ghost of a smile touched the killer’s lips as the hand stroking cheek slid up, caressing the drenched bleached hair. He pushed it back to further study the boy, seemingly fascinated with the concept of comforting an angel. “You’re from the heavens, come down to mourn this unloved child, right? He had no one…no one but you who must love everyone.”**

**The angel continued to shed tears of sorrow, face a twisted mess of pain. There was no bringing back the one in his arms. Nothing could save a stolen body. With all of that known…why couldn’t he simply stop grieving? Was it the humanity in him? Was it what made him different from those who simply stared as he held the corpse of a lost friend? “Why did you do it…?” the angel croaked, lifting his hand away from the bloodied body. “Why did you kill him…?”**

**A gentle sigh escaped the lips of the innocent murderer. He continued to run his chilly fingers through the angel’s wet locks as he answered, “You are the servant of heaven, shouldn’t you know already? This has been mandated. They don’t want hell’s sinner living among us anymore. They don’t want someone with no purity left to pollute a world like ours…but don’t cry anymore, Angel,” he cooed, softly kissing the other’s cheek, “You’ve shown enough love to the sinner. He doesn’t deserve anymore of your pity or warmth.” The killer made a trail of gossamer kisses down the exposed side of the angel’s face. “Look at the pure ones, the ones that are still alive and near. Guard us as you are supposed to…don’t cast your eyes on people who can no longer be saved.” His merciless eyes pressured the angel as he tangled his fingers in the golden tresses and jerked the angel’s head. “Don’t stand beside them anymore,” the killer whispered against ear, “they are the burden of society. There is no hope for them. They’ll only end up as this poor soul in your kind arms.”**

**The angel could only sob harder, pulling the deceased close to his chest. His vision was blurred by stinging tears but through that haze he saw the clear face of Doo-Joon, standing at the end of the alley with no such remorse upon his features. The angel strained his body forward with the words, “YOU’RE THE ONE WHO DID THIS! YOU FUCKING BASTARD YOU KILLED HIM—!” Only then, as those verbal emotions departed from his lungs did he feel familiar hands dragging him back. He thrashed and wailed and shook with incredible force yet was unable to break away from the steely grips.**

**They were telling him to shut up and to not provoke the rival group. But the words had left him and they would no longer stay silent. A hand clamped over his lips, forcing it all into a muffled mess. The angel glared across the dark space to where the murderers continued to live and breathe the air of freedom.**

**The innocent killer gazed back at him with a look of hurt and confusion. A sickening arm wrapped around the boy, chaining him to the tempting illusions of Doo-Joon. There had been a time where he could not be reached but now…now he stayed no more than an arm’s length away from the lustful spirit so bent on keeping him in a fog of deception.**

**Doo-Joon pointed at the angel, eyes following the indication. His voice carried across the seemingly vast space, saying, “Don’t blame Angel. He’s become far too attached to the ugly creatures, Nichkhun. We need to convince him though. We need to open his eyes to the reality…to bring him closer to an unpolluted world.”**

**Nichkhun, the white killer, nodded slowly, falling under the spell woven in words. “Don’t worry, Angel,” he called, a twisted smile curving his lips but daring not to touch his eyes, “I’ll help you…so just wait for me okay? You won’t have to stay in their sin for much longer…we’ll be around to save you soon...”**


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

**The law of the land mandated the utter disposal of all fallen comrades. Leeteuk had only been among them for a short time, perhaps six months, but he had quickly adapted to the environment. Unfortunately, the only thing he could not adapt to was the death. It never made sense in his head how murder was so commonplace. Were they all so lost, suffocated by the city air, that the preciousness of human life meant little to nothing?**

**Only one other had seen from the same perspective and that single person had been removed. His body burned to ashes now as Leeteuk stood under the cover of night and in the fortress of waste. There were others who slinked around the shadows, viewing the burning of a soul’s carcass. They smiled grimly while their darker peers suppressed maddening giggles of joy. It was one less person to fear, to care for, to watch…**

**And again, Leeteuk found himself questioning the sanity of the city’s people. Had they been cast off by society to such a painful extent? Were their souls devoured by figures of temptation…just like Nichkhun had been?**

**“…deserved it…”**

**“…served the little bastard right…”**

**“Who pulled the trigger?”**

**“…should’ve killed the fucker myself—”**

**Leeteuk whipped around, red fury burning through layers of skin and blood. “Come out and say it!” he yelled, taking a step towards the shadows. The voices fell silent, backing away into the safest, darkest corners. A bitter smirk cut Leeteuk’s expression. He flung his arms out in a loud gesture, eyes wide and spinning with hate. “You fucking dipshits aren’t even brave to say to his burning corpse! WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO THINK YOU COULD’VE EVEN _TOUCHED_ HIM?!?!”**

**A figure darted out of the blackness, unable to stop his hurt pride’s attack. The darkest of thrills pumped adrenaline through the angel’s veins as he faced the oncoming fool. He swung his powerful leg, cracking the side of a skull. The lovely heaven sent guardian pivoted, bringing about the second half of the strike. His contorted, youthful beauty was illuminated under the bright flames of death, acting not as a germ to infest the appearance but as a warning of the pure darkness deeply seeded in his body.**

**“Stop,” his friend whispered, tugging on Leeteuk’s shoulder, “don’t deface his final moments.”**

**Leeteuk jerked away from it all, taking several steps back from the groaning person on the ground as well as his friend. “And what of it? Everyone here has already shown the greatest lack of respect! Why aren’t I allowed to defend him? Why are you telling me that these actions can’t be an expression…,” he clutched the place over his heart, tears spilling from his eyes with such force it seemed impossible that he had been holding them back for so long. “His death…what does it symbolize? Does it show the people of this shithole what happens when life is lost? Does it change anything? Where is the _moral?!_ WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO LEARN FROM HIS DEATH?!?” He fell to the ground, shielding his weeping face from lurkers, friends and enemies. The energy had drained from his body, vanishing into thin air.**

**No answer came. Not even a comforting move was made. There was no answer to the questions. If there had been…then the situation would’ve never called for such questions to be made in the first place.**

**The strength and urgency in his tears brought the angel to the ground. His body was limp, eyes swollen shut, figure cold. Any events following that were missed but it could be assumed someone of the friendly-suggestion brought him back to the safe house. For when Leeteuk awoke the next day, it appeared to him that nothing had changed; nothing at all except for the empty bed beside his.**

**That image was all it took for the street rat of a child to make his decision. Without the thought to discuss it with his friends, Leeteuk got up out of bed, strode out of the room and towards the caretaker’s office. He hadn’t bothered to change or put on shoes. The importance of his words could not wait a moment longer.**

**Leeteuk threw the door open, catching the caretaker off guard. “A-Ah, Jungsu, what’s the matter?” the middle aged man inquired, setting his pen down worriedly. “Please sit down.”**

**“No need,” Leeteuk replied, “I want to enroll in that school you were talking about.”**

**“You were listening during that lecture?” the caretaker gasped.**

**He ignored the shock, saying, “It’s for anyone in the foster programs, right? Well I am and I want to go there so let me go.” Before the caretaker could make a rebuttal, Leeteuk added, “I’m smart as hell and I’ll dye my hair back to black. Is that good enough for you?”**

**“W-Well…,” he wracked his brain for some excuse but none came. The man sighed, pulling out a folder and opening it reluctantly. “Just…sign here and I’ll do the rest.” The child, Park Jungsu, was indeed very intelligent. There was no academic problem. It was the simple fact that _he_ was a problem. Bothersome children were known to be rejected from even foster program schools. No one wished to be involved with dangerous kids who would most likely grow to dangerous adults. And Leeteuk, along with his gaggle of friends, were part of some of the scariest activity in the already horrible city.**

**“You understand that there is no backing out of this right? And that if you cause problems at the school, they will not hesitate to kick you out what with your already colorful background,” the caretaker attempted one last time.**

**“You should be encouraging us, not discouraging,” Leeteuk remarked, turning his back and striding out of the room. He paused by the door though, voice dropping to a soft vulnerable place. “…I want to leave as soon as possible…so please…don’t put it off.” And then his presence disappeared.**

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

 

 

Kangin grimaced at the gates of the isolated school. There was literally no one at all around. Where the hell was civilization? His patron sure knew how to pick them. Kangin sighed, stuffing the address in his jacket’s pocket and crossing onto the academy’s grounds. It had taken the taxi nearly fifteen minutes to drive out to the school so that meant it would take…well, a hell of a long time to get back to the city.

Wasn’t he overreacting though? After all, Kangin didn’t even do anything _that_ bad. So what if he vandalized a building? It wasn’t like that was the first time. And so what if he was caught drinking underage? _Everyone_ had done it and gotten away with it. Why couldn’t Kangin? Weren’t guardians supposed to encourage the popularity of their ward? Being in low-risk gangs was all the rage and Kangin had been admitted into his former private school’s toughest group! Well, that was true up until he was caught and got set to who-knows-where. Anyway, it was definitely an overreaction. He was only in the ninth grade, barely fifteen. What real harm could’ve been done by being in the cool crowd?

And now Kangin was stuck in a place where only nerds went so they could study harder. What kind of hell had his guardian sent him to?

 _“All students report to the Main Square for the inauguration of Freshman Board. Repeat, all students report to the Main Square for the inauguration of Freshman Board,”_ the speaker system shut off abruptly after that and soon hundreds of students were spilling out of buildings all across campus.

Kangin followed the stream of people, confused and a bit irritated. What was the point in watching something like a freshman inaug-whatever? It didn’t mean anything outside of the academy. Kangin could’ve been spending his time working on more important things like figuring out the shortest path off campus or what place had the best reception.

And he would’ve done so once he saw the crowd of people pushing and shoving to get into the square. But then Kangin’s eyes landed on the source of ruckus. You see, he couldn’t fathom why everyone wanted to see a bunch of freshmen; that was until he felt his heart flutter.

To call it love at first sight would be a major overstatement. However, to call it attraction would be a whole other issue. There were six boys standing on a platform in the center of the square but only one of them seemed to be gathering attention from all.

His eyes were crescent shaped as a dimple smile spread his lovely lips. Sparkling white teeth flashed at the crowd as he cutely looked around. Long, swooping black hair caressed the lines of his face, contrasting heavily with his fair skin. The school uniform hugged his slender form, covering nearly every inch of skin. The boy was probably the only one wearing his school-issued clothing properly, if not a bit excessive in its properness.

Kangin nudged the guy standing next to him, getting his attention. “Who is that?” he asked.

The boy blinked, monkey-like face filled with confusion. “Huh? Are you new here or something?” he snorted, nodding at the gorgeous black haired boy on the platform, “That’s Teukie. Everyone knows him.”

“Oh...is that why there are so many people here to listen to some lame freshie party?” Kangin remarked, looking at the monkey boy. He was incredibly skinny with an awkward childish charm. Kangin suppressed the look he felt like giving the other guy. He had never seen someone so…strange looking.

Monkey-Boy shrugged. “Probably, but just listen to him speak and you’ll get it.”

Kangin paused, deciding against what he wanted to say. So he turned back to the stage, listening carefully for the words that would leave the dark haired boy’s mouth.

Luckily, the first one to speak was the pretty boy. He smiled and bent forward in a slight bow. “Hi, I’m Park Jungsu,” he introduced, waving at the uproarious throngs of students, “For anyone who doesn’t know me, I go by Teukie or Leeteuk, whichever you please. I’ll be a member of your Freshmen Board this year so if you ever need anything or have any complaints or praises I’m always willing to listen! Thank you,” Leeteuk bowed once more to the great applause.

The way he spoke and smiled from his heart…Kangin blinked several times, trying to control the strange swell of feelings in his chest. Oh hell with it. He was in love, love at first sight. “So…,” he muttered, eyes following Leeteuk incessantly.

“…gentle?” Monkey-Boy offered.

Kangin nodded, turning to the other guy. “What’s your name by the way?”

“Ah, Eunhyuk,” he replied, sticking his hand out, “you?”

“Kangin,” he said, taking the hand. “Let’s be good friends hmm?”

“Sounds like a plan.”

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

 

 

“So this is my room?” he mumbled, opening the door and pushing in. The late registration orientation had taken almost all night. It was so useless too. All they did was ramble on about regulations that no one would follow anyway. But at least now Kangin could relax and crash. Hopefully his roommate was cool.

His eyes trailed over to the book bag tossed in a corner of the room. There were two beds parallel to one another, head boards facing a windowing across from the door. It had no curtains, allowing for a great amount of moonlight to pour through had the room been dark. The walls were mostly plain except for three complicated looking charts pinned up. One displayed the periodic table in all its glory. Another was a detailed world map. The last one had a compiled list of the “Must Read Books before You Die”.

Oh shit.

Kangin swallowed a sigh, shutting the door behind him and preparing to greet his roommate. Whatever, maybe since he was rooming with a nerd there would be no problems. The boy would probably be too wimpy to even back-talk so there was nothing to worry about. “Hi, I’m Kang…in…,” he stuttered back, slamming into the closed door.

A slim boy stood in the center of the room, his pants nowhere to be found and his shirt slipping off both smooth shoulders. The school’s blazer and white button down were a wrinkled mess around his upper arms, shielding the notable shoulder blades of the boy. His black hair touched the nape of his neck, surrounding his slightly turned face in feathery layers. Dark, half-lidded eyes caught Kangin’s. Slowly, they widened with alarm and the boy scrambled to get his clothes back on. He was muttering something about pants under his breath that Kangin heard in the near silent room.

“A-Ah, don’t mind me,” Kangin stammered, struggling to open the door and let himself out, “I’ll wait until you finish changing!” He slammed the door shut, sinking to the ground with a heated blush. That couldn’t have been…no…no way was Kangin that lucky!

After a few moments the door clicked and he scrambled to his feet, whirling around to face the door. A pink faced Leeteuk peeked out, catching Kangin’s gaze. “Sorry, come in,” he murmured, opening the way for the other. Kangin obliged, entering the room and shuffling quietly over to the empty bed. “I don’t usually keep my door unlocked,” Leeteuk explained in the awkward silence, “but since this room is so far away and on the fourth floor I figured no one would be coming by. And if I remembered correctly my roommate wasn’t supposed to arrive until tomorrow so I didn’t even have time to prepare anything for you.” He blushed further, fiddling with the hem of his t-shirt. “Sorry again!” Leeteuk lowered his head.

Kangin reached out, mouth open. Nothing happened though. The movement was meant to comfort…but somehow it failed. He sighed, lowering his arm and closing his mouth. “Ah…ah, it’s alright. Sorry for just coming in without saying anything. It must’ve been shocking.”

“No, no don’t apologize!” Leeteuk insisted, waving his hands disapprovingly. “But anyway, your name is Kim Youngwoon, right?” Kangin nodded. “I’m Park Jungsu or I also go by Leeteuk or Teukie, anyway, it’s nice to officially meet you,” Leeteuk stated, smiling that sweet smile and taking the larger boy’s hand. “I’ve been rooming alone since last spring when I came here. It’s really nice to not have to live alone here anymore to be honest.” He sat down on his own bed, pushing the glasses perched on his nose higher up. “So where are you from Youngwoon?”

“You can call me Kangin if you want,” he said, “and I’m from a nearby city. There were problems and so I got sent here…uhm, actually I saw you talking at the Freshmen Board thing this afternoon and I had a question.”

There seemed to be a sudden shift in attitude when the mention of school activities came up. Leeteuk sat a bit straighter, eyes wide and expectant as he stared at Kangin. “Go on.”

“Well this school is a place for foster kids’ right?” There was a nod in response so Kangin went on, saying “Does that mean a lot of students here were sent for causing problems?” He pursed his lips, trying to think of a better way of wording his question. “Hmm…okay, what I mean to say is what is the top reason that kids are sent here? I don’t think it’s the educational opportunities. So why would all of these kids be sent to such a remote location?”

Leeteuk tilted his head, smiling. “You got it right on the head, Kangin!” he chuckled and made a vague hand gesture to indicate the school, “The majority of students here are sent because of behavioral issues. Usually they become more tame while here but that’s not always the case. Oh! But if you see anyone from the fine arts or music departments, you should know they’re usually not a part of any child help program. This place is just so secluded that many aspiring artists come here to concentrate on their work. They stay in an entirely different building for the majority of the day so there are rarely any conflicts…if you were worried I mean.”

“…what about you then? Why are you here?” Kangin blurted unable to help himself. He wanted to know why someone who practically glowed was going to such a controversial school. Based on the posters hanging on Leeteuk’s side of the wall, he could rule out music and art.

Leeteuk hesitated a moment. Then something strangely sorrowful crossed his expression. A soft pitter patter at the window caught them both off guard and they turned to look out at the previously clear night sky. Lightning and thunder cut through the black blanket of atmosphere. “…I didn’t want to be an angel anymore.” The rain fell harder then, hitting the window powerfully.

Kangin glanced at his roommate. He hadn’t heard him over the angry sky. “What?”

“Nothing,” he murmured, steadily losing himself in the bitter tears of heaven’s angels.

 

 

 


	5. Chapter 5

 

 

“No smoking on school grounds,” Leeteuk stated, standing before the group of misfits among misfits. The boys looked blankly at the black haired angel. “Smoking is prohibited. Plus, it’s incredibly bad for your lungs. You shouldn’t be putting harmful things in your precious bodies.” He crouched down to eye level with the slumped boys, smiling gently. “Please give them to me. I promise I’ll find a way to compensate for the money spent on it.”

The third years laughed. One of them snatched Leeteuk’s collar, jerking him so they were nose-to-nose. “How’s a little kid like you gonna compensate for our money, huh?” The older boy raked Leeteuk’s body with his eyes, smirking, “Pretty tight, maybe you’ll let us fuck you as payment?”

“I’d chuck these for that,” a follower howled, cackling and undressing the first year mentally.

“Damn, bet he’s still a virgin,” another one piped up, slowly creeping around Leeteuk, “Haven’t been inside a tight hole for a while.”

Leeteuk smiled; his face lit up like the holy cross. The thugs winced, stuttering in their verbal onslaught. “Why have all of you chosen to come here when you don’t have any wish to reform?” he inquired sincerely. “Although I understand many of us have experienced painful things in our past, that’s no excuse for wasting away these years.” Leeteuk easily twisted away from the person gripping his collar, shocking the older boy. The Angel touched the vulgar mouthed follower’s arm. “If you want to find someone nice and pure, don’t waste your time at places like these. There are plenty of people in this school that could make you happy.”

The follower shrugged Leeteuk’s hand off, snatching the boy’s wrist. “Don’t care,” he grunted eyes lustful, “I just wanna do someone and you’re looking pretty fucking fine to me.”

“What are you doing to Teukie?” a voice from behind demanded.

Leeteuk leaned over the older boy’s shoulder, seeing Kangin coming towards them. “Hi Kangin,” he greeted, waving and smiling. “How were your classes today?”

“Pay attention to what’s going on around you, idiot!” Kangin snapped, shoving the person off of his roommate and jerking Leeteuk close to him. The Angel’s eyes widened and his heart skipped a beat. He glanced down at his chest, confusion sweeping over those glowing features. “Let’s go,” he said, leading Leeteuk away quickly.

Howls and shouts followed their departure but no one came after them. No one really _wanted_ to go after them. As much as the thugs hated it…it was difficult to take advantage of someone so heavenly. It felt like they were the embodiment of demons the more they harassed the boy. Thankfully he left though. Now none of them would have to continue saving face by being cruel to him. Perhaps if all of them had met at a different time in a different place, there would be nothing like thugs and rank forcing them apart. But hey, it wasn’t.

 

Kangin held Leeteuk’s hand tightly, leading him through the vast campus. “What were you thinking? Those guys were third years! They could’ve ripped you apart Teukie!” he exclaimed, shooting the smaller boy an annoyed glare.

“I’m sure they wouldn’t have,” Leeteuk argued, grinning, “Their eyes were kind, even if their words weren’t. Besides, I didn’t want to see them throwing away their lungs by smoking. It’s a really bad habit and no one should be trapped by it.”

“What did you see in them then?” Kangin demanded, shoving the first year dorm’s door opening. He bumped into someone, stumbling backward. Leeteuk glided backwards, eyeing the person who they had collided with.

There was a handsome young boy standing before them, wearing his school uniform and looking at both of them worriedly. “Sorry,” he mumbled, lowering his head respectfully.

“No problem,” Kangin replied, confused by how formal the other boy was being. “Yo dude, it’s no big deal. You don’t have to bow or anything.” He pushed the humbled boy back up, looking at his face again.

“Of course,” the boy replied, smiling sheepishly.

“Are you in a hurry or something?” Kangin asked, still holding Leeteuk’s hand.

The boy glanced past Kangin, expression noticeably relaxing. “Ah, Teukie there you are. I was about to go looking for you actually. There’s an unplanned board meeting and you weren’t in your room when I went to check.”

“I was doing a patrol after classes, sorry Yunho,” Leeteuk said, tugging at Kangin’s hand. “Hey Kangin, this is a friend of mine, Yunho. We’re on the Freshmen Board together.” He smiled at the one still gripping his hand, saying, “Let’s meet up for dinner tonight okay? And then I’ll introduce you to some people in the Commons.”

Kangin blinked, nodding without thinking. It was hard to focus on what the angelic boy was saying when he smiled so brightly. “Ah…okay.”

“I’ll find you in the Dining Hall then,” Leeteuk slipped out of Kangin’s slackened grip, following Yunho out of the building.

The board members walked off together, conversing pleasantly with one another about who knew what. As Kangin watched them go, he had to wonder…what could those two have possibly done to end up in a place like there?

Or maybe a better question was, where the _hell_ did they come from and why were they so bent on becoming role model reformed? It was sort of disgusting and yet, it had the ability to spark jealousy in Kangin. How come they were able to let go of the past to such an extent? Were they just suppressing all of the painful, lonely days? What kind of personality did that take?

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

 

 

**“N-Nichkhun…?” Leeteuk gazed at his friend across the distance. His mind was a fog, unable to put disconnected thoughts together. What was he seeing? What appeared before him was impossible. Such a thing as betrayal existed, but to exist between best friends...where was the justice? Had Leeteuk simply overlooked the changes, ignored the sorrow eating away at Nichkhun?**

**The boy in question smiled tenderly, taking a few giddy steps towards Leeteuk. “Angel!” he called in the normal inviting tone that had so often attracted the stunned child. Unintentionally, Leeteuk backed away, shocking his best friend. A look of confusion and hurt passed over Nichkhun’s face and his hurried steps slowed. “Why are you scared of me? Have I done something wrong…?”**

**“No of course you haven’t,” Doo-Joon answered, appearing from thin air and tangling his manipulative chains around the sweet child. He kissed Nichkhun’s neck, eyes darkly locked upon Leeteuk. “What’s wrong with being excited about seeing Angel? He’s so lovely and merciful, surely there’s nothing to feel bad about.”**

**Nichkhun’s gaze softened and his mouth quivering in further puzzlement. “Does that mean Angel is wrong? Has he made a mistake?”**

**“That’s right, Khunnie,” Doo-Joon murmured, smirking against his puppet’s skin as he continued to press kisses to neck, “We have to help Angel fix his mistake. He’s _horribly_ confused…just as you were before meeting me. He’ll understand once he’s come to our side.”**

**Nichkhun nodded, swimming in toxic words. “Angel…poor Angel,” he locked eyes with the despairing Leeteuk, “I’m so sorry for leaving without you. Don’t worry, I’ll—,” Doo-Joon nipped his throat, subtly eyeing the talking boy. Nichkhun corrected himself, saying, “ _We’ll_ be around to save you from the sinners. You won’t have to spend much more time with them okay? We’re best friends; I would never leave you alone. _”_**

**Leeteuk’s lips curled back in sudden anger. “Why are you listening to his _lies?!_ He’s been our enemy for so long! How could you just turn on us?”**

**“It’s not like that!” Nichkhun argued, pulling forward desperately. “He’s right! His words and touch…they’re all right! He wants to help people, not kill people, Angel! Don’t you trust me?”**

**“I trust the you that stuck by me in the past!” Leeteuk retorted, thrusting his arm out furiously. “But the you now…the one who sold his well being for a quick fuck—!” A hand darted out from the shadows of the warehouse, connecting harshly with Leeteuk’s jaw. The blonde crashed to the ground, holding his face. He spit blood that welled up in his mouth, glaring at the person standing over him. “Only pussies attack like that.” A foot swung out daring to crack Leeteuk’s skull. He blocked it, grinding teeth together and shoving the person back.**

**“Don’t hurt Angel,” Nichkhun said softly. All of the shadows froze, slinking away from their leader’s new favorite toy. Doo-Joon’s doll reached out for Leeteuk’s bruised and bloody face, fingertips brushing over the swelling jaw. “Your face…why are you fighting? Why don’t you stand beside me in this comfortable place? We can be safe together with Doo-Joon.”**

**“Yes, join us,” the despicable man chuckled, stroking Nichkhun’s body as if it were his property, a thing to enjoy in the darkest hours. “I’ve been watching the angel for so long…,” black eyes bore deeply into the Angel’s, “…and I want him already.”**

**“What? A threesome? You’re into some kinky stuff,” Leeteuk spat, struggling to his feet. “I’d be game for that, y’know, if it wasn’t proposed by a traitor and his murderous lover.”**

**Nichkhun’s eyes widened in shock, “I’m not a traitor! I care about _you_ so much! How can you be so harsh…we’re best friends….” He sank deeper into the clutches of that murderer, the pain contorting his features lessening the further he pressed against Doo-Joon.**

**“LET HIM GO!” Leeteuk screamed, clawing at the arms tightly holding Nichkhun. Now the shadows of the warehouse were moving again to force Leeteuk away from their leader. The boy tore out of grip after grip, screeching incoherently at the smirking man seducing the puppet. “HE’S NOT YOURS TO PLAY WITH! HE DOESN’T DESERVE THIS YOU ASS-FUCKING-HOLE!”**

**Doo-Joon’s hand shot out, wrapping around Leeteuk’s wrist in a way so filled with finality, dread crept through the latter’s body. “I could take you now so easily,” he stated not unkindly, “but…,” his eyes shifted down to Nichkhun who was gazing up at him curiously, “after those words you’ve uttered, perhaps I’ll spend a little more personal time with Khunnie…” He released Leeteuk into the clutches of his men. “When I’m bored with him, I’ll come for you.”**

**And then the captured angel went on to black out among the enemies, left untouched by the wishes of a powerful light coiled around his vulnerable body.**


	7. Chapter 7

 

 

Leeteuk bowed to his fellow Freshmen Board members, smiling and turning away. “I have to meet my roommate for dinner. So see you all tomorrow,” he said, nodding once more before shuffling out of the room.

“Teukie looked excited, don’t you think?” Yesung remarked, glancing at Yunho.

The latter’s shoulders rose and fell subtly, a half smile on his lips. “Maybe. But it’s hard to tell with him.” Yunho closed his book bag, slinging it over shoulder as he headed towards the door. “Do you wanna get something to eat?” he asked the entirety of the room.

Most of them nodded or mumbled agreeing words, trailing after the second unofficial leader of their board. First it was Leeteuk and then if he couldn’t be present or aware, Yunho took over. Those were two of the most trusted people in the entire high school division. It was to be expected that they would hold power and continue to do so far into their senior years.

Yesung idled up next to Yunho, touching the latter’s shoulder. “What do you mean it’s hard to tell with Teukie? He’s pretty easy to read, isn’t he? I mean, a smile is a smile after all.”

“You’re from the Music Department, right?” Yunho inquired softly, peering at Yesung from the corner of his eye. When the other boy nodded Yunho’s lips curved up in what appeared to be a smile but surely was not. “You’re lucky. It must be nice to living in this academy then, huh?”

“It’s a good place to focus,” Yesung replied, already losing track of the original reason he struck a conversation with Yunho. He blinked a few times and then said, “What were you saying about Teukie again?”

They entered the Dining Hall, finding a large table and taking it over. The other board members filled in the empty seats, chatting about something or other. Although all of them had grown to be comfortable around one another, there were always those that they felt extra comfortable with. For Yunho, it had come to be Yesung, but that was because the boy knew so little about the world in comparison to most of the academy’s population.

Yunho set his belongings underneath the table by his feet, eyes shifting back to Yesung. “You know the two types of people who get sent to this school,” he stated, waiting for the other to nod in understanding. Once he did, Yunho went on, “Well then you must know that Teukie and I aren’t Music Department students. So you tell me Yesung, do you really think an orphan is incapable of smiling falsely?”

“But when he smiles the world shines,” Yesung argued. “I-I mean, okay yeah, the world shines. There’s no better way of describing it.”

Yunho sipped a glass of water set before him. “It does, does it not?” he chuckled and tilted his head at a now confused Yesung. “Teukie…,” Yunho’s eyes trailed over to the topic of discussion who was sitting at a two person table with a handsome boy, “shines to you because he reaches out without meaning to. He can feel human pain better than anyone else.”

Yesung followed his friend’s eyes, finding Leeteuk talking happily with the lighter haired boy. He sort of looked like a delinquent but then again, next to the angelic boy, anyone would look devilish. “…Do you like Teukie?” Yesung asked tentatively, glancing at Yunho.

“Everyone does,” Yunho answered smoothly, “I’m no exception.”

***

Kangin heard almost everything Leeteuk said this time. He was getting used to seeing the boy and therefore it was becoming easier to hear what he was saying. At first simply looking at Leeteuk made all of Kangin’s brain activity shut down, but now he could see _and_ hear the other boy. It was a beautiful thing. Although Leeteuk didn’t say anything super important, at least Kangin wouldn’t sound like a fool when replying.

“So do you like it here?” Leeteuk inquired as they left the Dining Hall and headed for the Commons. “I’ve seen you around school and you seem pretty popular which is good. Sometimes transfer students aren’t immediately welcomed so I was a bit worried about you.”

Kangin stifled a smile that wanted to burst on his face. The boy was thinking so much about him? How adorable was that? “I’m so handsome, that’s why everyone’s attracted to me,” he joked, laughing softly.

“You are handsome.”

Kangin staggered, eyes widening at the smaller boy. “H-Huh?”

Leeteuk covered his mouth, looking embarrassed. He bowed his head apologetically, saying, “O-Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that, promise! You’re very manly though,” he was blushing now, eyes casting down, “and I just meant that I noticed because I felt a little jealous. Sometimes when I’m doing stuff around school people will mistakenly come up to me and ask why a girl is in their school…,” Leeteuk looked up quickly then back down, “so when I see you I think that you’re very lucky.”

“Ah…thanks,” Kangin mumbled, forcing the heat swarming his face down, “but being pretty—” He couldn’t finish his sentence as they entered the Commons and suddenly loud voices and flying bodies took over the scene.

People were cheering and betting, forming a circle around something. All of the boys pushed and shoved to get closer to the fight, joining in the obnoxious howling and rooting. Loud cracking noises filled the room on off beats of cheering.

“Does this happen often?” Kangin asked, turning to look at Leeteuk. The boy was already gone though. Kangin whirled around in a panic. “Leeteuk?!” he shouted, trying to get through the hoards of people.

Kangin pushed to the innermost circle, finding the other boy as he figured he would. The kid just didn’t realize what staying out of dangerous situations meant, huh? Leeteuk was restraining the one still standing. The opponent sat on the floor, glaring hatefully and bleeding from who knows where. “Let me go!” the standing boy roared, gaining followers in the audience.

“Does beating him up do anything?” Leeteuk shouted.

“He’s a bastard! He doesn’t fucking know respect! So let me teach it to him!” he lunged forward, only to be stopped by a stubborn Leeteuk again.

Kangin wasn’t watching the bloody mess though. In fact, no one was watching him. Everyone had their eyes on the loud, writhing one. That’s why it was impossible to stop the attack by the fallen opponent.

Leeteuk opened his mouth to start lecturing the temperamental boy again but then there was a heavy pressure on the back of his skull. Suddenly he felt his head flying forward and crashing grotesquely into the red faced boy. Shooting pain crawled through layers of skin, blood and bone, the world spinning and flashing white as Leeteuk slumped forward.

The room silenced in a heartbeat.

People hurried forward, carefully moving Leeteuk off the unconscious boy. Kangin held his roommate up, eyes strained with worry. Blood trickled down the slender boy’s forehead, his glasses cracked and crooked upon his nose. Kangin’s heart rate picked up and he held Leeteuk closer, carefully examining the wound. “Teukie…? Can you hear me?” he whispered near the other boy’s ear.

“Mmhmm…,” he mumbled, wincing, “It hurts though…”

Kangin released the breath he had been holding, “You’re so crazy…”

“Is Teukie okay?” a voice in the crowd called out. His words were echoed several times over, everyone looking at the bleeding boy with concern.

“Yeah, he’s fine,” Kangin answered, nodding at everyone. They looked at each other, exchanging small smiles and sighs of relief. As for the two people who had started the conflict…they were nowhere to be seen. Kangin shrugged it off figuring some of Leeteuk’s fans had dragged them off for a proper beating. He didn’t care. It was the law of the land. If you’re too stupid or too weak, don’t bother stepping in the ring. Slowly, Kangin lifted the light boy, carrying him through the crowd who solemnly paved a path for him.

Leeteuk leaned closer to his roommate, fingers curling around the other’s sweater. It felt nice to not have to stand up. It felt nice to have someone else lift him up when he didn’t want to. It felt nice knowing there was no danger in relying on another. Leeteuk mumbled what he hoped sounded like a thank you and snuggled against Kangin’s warm body as the latter carried him to help.

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

 

 

**“C’mon, bring it.” Leeteuk grinned with a bloody mouth, waving at the boys still standing. His legs dared to fold beneath him but he wouldn’t allow it; not when there were so many people trying to get at his throat. It was exhilarating and frightening but that was the beauty of living that life. There were no rules except those created by your peers.**

**Those ridiculous suits who only knew how to throw money at them had no right planting laws where Leeteuk carved his path. If they wanted to “help” so much then they could fucking come and join the brawl because that’s where it was. That’s where a voice of reason was needed. Leeteuk was still waiting for someone, anyone, to grab him by the arm and tell him to stop beating the living shit out of a poor soul.**

**One such poor soul lunged at the blonde, screaming and clenching his fist. Leeteuk swung around in an arching roundhouse, slamming his heel into the other boy’s upper shoulder. His teammate appeared in the fallen one’s shadow, fist contacting Leeteuk’s face. He stood over the blonde, smiling with a mixture of glee and lust. “I…I beat Leeteuk,” he breathed, holding his bloody knuckles up like the greatest trophy, “I fucking beat—”**

**Leeteuk swept the boy off his feet, jamming the flat of his foot into the gasping, flailing thing’s chest. A twisted smirk defiled the angelic beauty. “You think you can beat me? That barely even hurt.” He crouched down, straddling the boy’s hips. “Who sent you and your little friends?” he said in a quiet voice, yanking the boy up by his collar. “It must’ve been a smart guy if he made you go as such a big group.”**

**“I’m not telling you,” he spat, attempting to head butt Leeteuk.**

**The angel passed divine punishment, fracturing the boy’s forearm with a heavy kick. Agonized wails echoed through the dirty alley. Leeteuk leaned closer to the whimpering boy’s face, eyes shining with truth. “I’m asking you again. Who sent you?”**

**“I did.”**

**Leeteuk dropped the pained child, turning around and getting to his feet. A dark haired person strode up to him, cupping his face between two hands. The blonde tightened his jaw, glaring coldly at the ringleader. “What do you want with me?” he turned his head slightly but the boy held him in place.**

**“I’ve heard stories about you…,” he cooed, lips parted in a curving smirk, “about how strong you are, about how beautiful you are…,” he licked his lips, eyelids heavy over black orbs. “I wanted to test the truth of these rumors. And sure enough, they’re right on the dot...”**

**Leeteuk shoved the person back, but instead felt his backside crash painfully into a brick wall. He swallowed a groan, the twitching of one eye the only reaction. “You still haven’t answered me,” Leeteuk said coldly, quietly.**

**“Don’t be so hasty,” he murmured, hands sliding down to rest on the blonde’s hips, “I want to treasure our first meeting. Don’t you think it’s important to engrave in your mind the day you met me…?” His hands crept up Leeteuk’s sides, pausing over his notable rib cage. “An angel whose wings have been torn off. You’re one of them, aren’t you?” The boy’s thumbs rubbed slow circles over one of the prominent ribs. “That’s why you haven’t run away from me.”**

**Leeteuk gasped, lurching forward into the boy. Tingling pain erupted from the center of his chest. “What did you do?” he groaned, legs shaking as his body weight fully collapsed upon the dark haired youth.**

**A low chuckle brushed over his ear, the hands slipping away from the alignment of bones. “Such an angel…,” he sighed almost tenderly, bringing Leeteuk’s body closer to him, “I just broke two of your ribs. It’s nothing. I simply wanted to make sure the heavens wouldn’t come to take you back too soon.” The boy purposefully pressed himself against the shattered bones, forcing a pained cry from the angel’s lips. “What’s so beautiful about the sound of an angel in pain…?” he questioned ruefully, “I feel as if it awakens the deeper dark in people…in me.”**

**“L…Let me go,” Leeteuk whimpered, “stop it…” He tried to push his hand between the other’s body and his broken ribs but the person was twisting his arm away.**

**“Don’t fight the pain I’ve blessed you with,” the boy scolded gently, shaking his head, “succumb to it and join my ranks. You’ll be the guardian…the one who is so coldly abused,” a strange little smile touched the boy’s lips, “and yet, your heart will sympathize with our human faults. You are the only one who may forgive us though we sin…”**

**“Please stop it…,” Leeteuk croaked, writhing under the cruelty. His eyes burst open at the sound of his wrist snapping and then fiery heat was invading his arm. Leeteuk fell to his knees, only to be halted by the person attacking him so calmly.**

**The person pushed a leg between the blonde’s holding him up against the brick wall. “Don’t you see, my Angel?” he whispered, comfortingly stroking Leeteuk’s hair and face. “I’m the only one who can force this law upon you. No one else can control a divine being like you…”**

**“Stop it! Get away from me!” Leeteuk cried, holding his broken wrist, eyes spinning. If it were possible in those circumstances, perhaps he would’ve glared. “It hurts…too much…,” he squeezed his eyes shut, sliding as far away from the inflictor as possible. “Go away…please…I don’t want this…,” he mumbled, entire body limp.**

**“Ssh…,” he murmured, “it’s okay…you’re taking sin, Angel. Don’t look so sad. This is what you’re meant to do. Your purpose is to keep others peaceful,” the youth brushed hair out of Leeteuk’s face, saying, “whether or not you feel joy is unimportant.”**

**“Who are you?” he whispered, slipping out of consciousness very quickly. No one had overwhelmed him so completely before. It was the voice and the strength and everything combined that made him fall. Leeteuk wanted to punch the dark haired boy but his body was too weak and his mind had been torn apart somehow. Everything was fuzzy, as if a gypsy had come forth with smelling oils and wrapped him in a space filled with sedating compounds.**

**“Doo-Joon, my Angel,” he said softly, almost sweetly, “Remember your Lord’s first words…” before pressing his lips to the angel’s collar and biting until skin tore.**


	9. Chapter 9

 

 

Leeteuk bolted upright, grasping his neck tightly. His heart was racing, eyes wide and hysterical. The clothing he wore stuck to cold, sweaty skin. A pounding in his forehead brought him back to reality. Leeteuk pressed a palm to forehead, closing his eyes briefly. “Another dream…,” he sighed, falling back on the mattress.

It was nothing new. All he ever dreamed about was the past. He had no idea how to imagine a world for his mind to relax in. The closest was a dreamless night and those came rarely. Leeteuk unbuttoned more of his shirt, the majority of his chest bared. There was far too much heat. It was eating him alive and somehow it was pleasant, as if it were signaling the end to torturous images and regret. He wasn’t allowed to escape. The only escape was back to the places where he committed sin or rather, where sin was committed upon him.

Absently, Leeteuk ran his fingers over the scar on his collar. Before he would cringe at the touch for his fingertips would drag across the wrinkled, scar tissue, feeling every unforgettable indent. There were more though. The one upon his collar was just the first. It held the most weight though. That sadistic bite began everything. And every time he thought of it, something cold and hateful filled the angel’s veins.

So how did he rid himself of the anger? That was a good question. He suppressed it. The memories were shoved down below the surface where it became difficult to even recollect a part of the story. Of course, that only held true when referring to a conscious Leeteuk. The moment his eyes closed, every buried thought, emotion and memory came shooting up like vengeful spirits, hijacking Leeteuk’s mind in order to tear the already broken angel down. It was a replay of having his wings torn off in a number of metaphorical representations. The worst of them were from Doo-Joon though, which should have been quite obvious already.

The mere thought of such a manipulative being sent shudders through Leeteuk’s body. He hated that voice, that face, those hands…

 

The door clicked. Leeteuk jumped a bit, but only figuratively speaking. His body stayed perfectly still as if he were still fast asleep. The “slumbering” boy listened to the purposefully quiet footsteps and smiled whilst his heart calmed. The thoughts filling his mind shifted a bit; darker reminiscence being devoured by the angelic white so many sinners sought to mutilate. “Kangin..,” Leeteuk greeted gently, not looking at his roommate, “thank you for bringing me back here.”

“No big deal,” Kangin mumbled, kneeling beside Leeteuk and brushing the hair out of his face, “Are you feeling better? You’ve been asleep for three hours. Dr. Choi already came in and checked you out. He said you have a hard head or something.”

Leeteuk laughed, smiling up at Kangin. “He would know best…”

“Oh? Why do you say that?” the other boy prompted curiously.

“We’ve been close since I came here,” Leeteuk explained vaguely, eyes wandering around the ceiling. “Hey Kangin…”

“Yeah?”

“Whenever you come back, you always fall asleep right away,” he observed, “you don’t even bother to change. It makes me sort of disappointed.”

Kangin slumped a bit, thinking that the smart boy probably didn’t like stupid people. It wasn’t that he disliked classes; in fact they weren’t too bad. Just…he had rarely used so much brain power until recently. So whenever he came back to the room it was a relief to see a bed. By the time he awoke, it was already morning. “Sorry, it must suck to have someone like me as your roommate huh?” he muttered, flushing.

“Don’t misunderstand,” Leeteuk stated, reaching out to slip his hand in Kangin’s, “I’m not reprimanding you. I meant that I’m disappointed because you’ve never seen this room in the dark. Go turn off the lights.”

“But why?” he asked, confused.

“Please?” Leeteuk murmured willfully.

“Okay,” he nodded skeptically, but not so much the angelic boy could’ve noticed. It wasn’t as if he doubted the bedridden child. Kangin wasn’t exactly intimidated by someone so much smaller than him. Wasn’t that sort of a stretch to fear such a gentle boy? He was puzzled, that’s all.

Why would Leeteuk want him to turn off the lights to explain his disappointment? It seemed like a strange teaching method if you asked the taller boy.

Kangin stood up, slowly flicking the light switch off. Almost immediately it dawned on him; he realized what Leeteuk was talking about. The boy turned in a wide circle, fascination illuminating his eyes as he gazed at the vast ceiling. “Whoa…did you do this?”

Hundreds of silver stars littered their roof twinkling in the moonlight pouring in. They weren’t just random though. It was a precise mapping of the stars outside. Constellations could be found among the artificial specks – as for which ones specifically, Kangin was unsure. He kneeled back down beside Leeteuk, staring in pure amazement at the boy.

“I like stargazing,” he smiled that kind angel’s smile, looking around at the light show he had created, “but I’m not very fond of going out at night. So I wanted to build the sky map in my bedroom. When you came to live with me I hoped I could have a buddy to look at the stars with but you always fell asleep before the lights were out,” Leeteuk chuckled.

Kangin took the laying boy’s hand, giving him an odd look. “Why don’t you like going out at night, Teukie?” he asked softly.

That same sorrowful emotion passed through his eyes – the one he had marked Kangin with the first time they met. It was pitying and remorseful and so many other things… “I’m afraid of being exposed,” he confessed almost inaudibly. Leeteuk didn’t know why he was telling those things to Kangin. His heart was just aching to spill the truth to the boy holding his hand though. Perhaps there was no real meaning behind it or maybe it meant the world. He wasn’t quite positive. All Leeteuk knew in that singular moment though…was that he wanted to tell someone, not just anyone, but Kangin and him alone. Leeteuk swallowed, entwining their fingers carefully. “I don’t want to be trapped in uncontrolled darkness. I want to enjoy these little things,” his eyes roamed around the sparkling silver stars, “where I know I can’t be touched,” that gentle, melancholy gaze finally settled on Kangin.

“What are you hiding from? Why?” he whispered, leaning closer to Leeteuk.

The slender boy felt his heart skip a beat and he rested the palm of one hand against his chest. He pulled himself slightly off the bed, closing the distance even more between them. “…Kiss me…”

Kangin tightened his grip on the other’s hand, lowering his head. His entire body told him to follow the request. It wasn’t by choice any longer; it was by need. And then their lips were touching, barely brushing.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

 

 

“Why are you smiling so much?” Eunhyuk asked, raising an eyebrow at Kangin. Class had yet to start. Kids were bustling around, wrapped up in their own conversations and surely not listening to what the pair was talking about. The teacher was standing at the front of the room, rifling through some papers.

The handsome boy grinned, eyes drifting down to his desk as he mumbled, “Something happened with Teukie last night.”

Eunhyuk sat up straighter, jaw slackening. “No way. No freaking way!” he exclaimed, quickly lowering his voice as he saw people turn to stare at the outburst. Eunhyuk waved his hand apologetically, quickly going back to lean over Kangin with gaping eyes. “You took advantage of Teukie? That’s low, man…”

“I didn’t take advantage of him,” Kangin snapped, glaring in annoyance, “He asked me,” the boy blushed a little and covered the lower half of his face with a hand.

“What did you just say?” Eunhyuk prompted, leaning even closer. Kangin muttered it again behind his hand, eyes screwing up in embarrassment. Eunhyuk pressed a hand to his ear, indicating for Kangin to speak up more.

Kangin snatched the lanky boy’s collar, jerking him over and saying, “He told me to kiss him…”

“Teukie wouldn’t say that!” Eunhyuk gasped.

The broader boy released the monkey and shrugged, pushing back against the chair support. He crossed his arms, eyes clouding thoughtfully. “Y’know, all of you look out for Teukie so much…but how much do you really know about him…?”

Eunhyuk blinked, confused. “What do you mean? There isn’t much to Teukie. He’s just Teukie.” He laughed a bit, patting Kangin’s shoulder as he went back to his seat. “You don’t have to be so curious about the guy. There isn’t much to him.”

Kangin didn’t plan on answering, but the other boy didn’t need to know that. Luckily the teacher had decided to begin the period finally. “Alright class! We’re starting today’s lesson!” The teacher announced, taking control of the room after a few minutes or shifting chairs, desks, and materials. “Now, before anything else, I have someone to introduce all of you to.” He motioned with a hand out the door, apparently calling a person inside.

A young man walked into the room, an incredibly handsome man to be specific. His cheek bones were high, jaw sharp, eyes dark and masculine. A well fitting black suit molded around all of his contours. Ebony locks were pushed back from his symmetrical beauty, seeming at first to be a bit distasteful but then appearing to be quite attractive in relation to the style emitted. He eyes trailed around the room before his head inclined slightly, hands behind his back.

“Class, this is our new student teacher, Choi Seunghyun. Treat him with respect alright?”

Everyone nodded blindly, unable to tear their eyes away from the darkly handsome figure. Kangin couldn’t deny the immediate pull, just like the others. And then the man, Choi Seunghyun, spoke up with the deepest, richest voice. “I’m Choi Seunghyun. Call me as you please. I just graduated from university and am 23 years old. My goal is to become an educator, which is why I’m here. Let’s have a good rest of the semester.”

The teacher smiled encouragingly at Seunghyun, “If you would, please take attendance and get to know the students. I have some business to attend to but if there are any problems I’ll be just down the hall.” The man hurried out of the room as if it physically pained him to continue being in the presence of his students. What a jackass. Then again, no one particularly minded having someone like Seunghyun running the show.

“After I call your name, answer with ‘present’ and then share what aspirations you have,” the student teacher stated, taking out a pen and pressing it down on the roster sheet. He began calling people’s names, getting through a quarter of the class before there was a knock at the door. Seunghyun looked up from the paper, peering through the perpendicular opening. “Hello, who are you?”

Leeteuk came into the classroom holding a clipboard and looking as harmless and gentle as ever. He moved his long black bangs out of his face and smiled angelically at the student teacher. “I’m Park Jungsu, or Leeteuk—”

“Teukie!” Voices from the students shouted, hands shooting up to wave at the boy. They were grinning and absolutely glowing from the sight of Leeteuk. It was always a good way to start class – seeing the smiling boy, that is.

The board member waved at the class in general, laughing a little. He quickly turned back to Seunghyun though, saying, “I need to talk to some of your students. Do you mind? It will only take two or three minutes, I promise.”

“That’s fine,” the student teacher replied, eyes glued on the adorable boy, “Just take whoever you need. Oh, I’m Choi Seunghyun by the way. You can call me as you please.”

Leeteuk nodded politely, “It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Choi. Then I’ll be getting out of your way.” He lowered his head slightly, shuffling off to collect the students he came for. Most everyone in the classroom was watching him, including the student teacher who should’ve been focusing on getting class started. Apparently education came second to studying the kindly first year.

Kangin brushed Leeteuk’s hand as the latter passed by. When the glasses wearing boy looked down to see who touched him, those dark, glittering eyes widened in surprise. He broke into a shy smile, cheeks coloring faintly as he nodded a greeting at the larger boy. Kangin returned the look involuntarily, utterly unable to control his reactions whenever Leeteuk was involved. The board member passed Kangin, grabbing the last student he needed and leading the group out of the classroom. They proceeded to disappear down the hallway, off to talk about who-knew-what.

Seunghyun cleared his throat, garnering attention once more. Everyone had to clear their minds first but soon all the focus was back on the smokin’ hot teacher. He fixed his tie absently, perhaps even loosening the high collar accessory. After a few moments and a deep breath, he started doing attendance again, seemingly distracted though.

Eunhyuk nudged Kangin who sat beside him. The latter turned his head, frowning and mouthing ‘What?’ He glanced over to make sure Seunghyun wasn’t looking and then slid over in his seat, so he could whisper to Kangin, “Don’t you think he was looking at Teukie a little too intently?”

“It was just a teacher looking at a student. You’re making too much of it,” Kangin mumbled back, eyes flickering between Eunhyuk and the teacher since his name had yet to be called.

“Kim Youngwoon?” Seunghyun prompted.

Kangin raised his hand, saying, “Here,” he paused briefly and then went on, “I want to be successful. That’s my dream.”

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

 

Leeteuk sighed, setting the papers down and stretching. There was a painfully notable kink in his neck that refused to go away. He looked around the empty room, different forms and fliers scattered across the large table taking up the space. You couldn’t really blame them. They were still a group of fifteen year old boys whether or not they were responsible; that meant it wasn’t in their greatest interest to keep things nice and tidy when obviously a mess would arise later in the day. There was simply no merit in cleaning up knowing that it was temporary.

The door clicked open.

He turned around and smiled, seeing Yunho striding into the room with his own set of documents. A similar exhausted expression was etched into the youth’s face. “Why is it our job to take care of student activities?” Yunho grumbled, sitting down in the chair closest to where Leeteuk stood. “Shouldn’t the administration be doing stuff like this? We’re missing valuable class time, after all.”

“We’re in the Honors Program, Yunho,” Leeteuk reminded, “we only have afternoon classes.”

“Yeah well our mornings should be used for sleeping then because I can promise you our school work is a hell of a lot harder than most of these guys,” Yunho barked, frowning.

Leeteuk chuckled. “It’s not so bad walking around the school…there are worse things we could be doing.”

“Like what?” he demanded, crossing his arms.

“They could make us take regular classes along with Honors classes.” Yunho said nothing to that, instead settling for a bitter glare directed at Leeteuk. The latter simply offered a small smile and shrug as he took the vacant seat beside his friend’s.

Yunho muttered incoherently under his breath and then dropped the topic. His eyes wandered up to Leeteuk’s unbuttoned collar and confusion clouded his features. Carefully, Yunho reached over, running fingers over the unkempt fabric. “Why isn’t it buttoned?”

“…I’ve been working out too much,” Leeteuk joked, “it has gotten a little too tight—”

“Why isn’t it buttoned?” Yunho repeated, watching the other with gravity, “You’re not hiding the marks anymore?”

Leeteuk flushed, pulling away from Yunho and fumbling to clasp a hand around the open shirt. “It’s…I,” he took a slow breath, eyes closing as he tried to relax enough to form a coherent thought. “…The scars around my neck have been hurting,” Leeteuk whispered, gaze upon his lap, “it felt like I was suffocating with it so well hidden.”

Yunho nodded slowly as he gently pushed Leeteuk’s hand out of the way and slid his own fingers over the heated skin of the latter’s neck. The glasses wearing boy released a held breath, leaning weakly into the cooling embrace. Yunho rolled his chair closer to Leeteuk, hand still running over the scar tissue. “It really is burning up,” he remarked softly, using his free hand to loosen Leeteuk’s tie and undo a few more buttons.

“I don’t know why…,” he mumbled, shaking his head, “well…maybe it’s because I dreamt about him again. It was so graphic…I could feel everything like it was the first time…”

Yunho ran fingertips over the boy’s hairline, absently rekindling the bond between him and the lines of torment. “So long as you’re here,” Yunho murmured, “He’s not going to come. This place is safe for us. Don’t forget that. We’re not going to get out of here and get sent back to that hell hole.”

“What if he finds us…after we get out…,” Leeteuk questioned.

“Then we’ll have a lot more defenses against him,” Yunho said without hesitation, grinning at his worried friend. “Don’t think so much, Teukie. If you’re ever getting too stressed out, just come to me and I’ll help you.” He removed his hand carefully and buttoned the shirt back up. “By the way, how’s life with a roommate?”

Wariness was still deeply embedded in his eyes, but Leeteuk smiled widely nonetheless. “I feel as if I don’t deserve someone so kind…,” he played with one sleeve, picking at the white fabric, “he takes care of me like no one else has.”

Yunho frowned teasingly and ruffled the other’s hair. “What? I don’t take care of you?” There was something serious about the way he spoke, as if a legitimate answer was necessary. Yet at the same time, he appeared to mask it.

“Well it’s a little different,” Leeteuk argued, his dimple becoming more prominent as more warmth entered his voice, “He doesn’t see me like everyone else in this academy does. He looks out for me and worries if I’m okay.” His eyes flitted up to Yunho, “But with us, we’re brothers-in-arms. We’ve been watching each other’s back since forever…. Kangin…Kangin wants to protect me even when he’s so confused.”

Yunho nodded, carefully curving his lips into a faint smile. “And you’re always trying to beautify everything these days. I sort of miss the other Teuk,” he rolled his eyes.

“He was pretty cool, huh?” Leeteuk grinned.

“No,” the other shook his head, “he was just less crazy about reform.”

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content.

 

 

It was a new record: 5 Days. The lights had vanished and then he had been awakening to the sound of concrete smashing skulls. Everything was far too familiar for his taste. The high, shadowed warehouse walls…the stench of smoke, metal, and blood…the suspended chains…. They had taken him again. It wasn’t so much of a worry as before. The first few times it seemed as if they really wanted to kill him, but it was just a territorial game. He would’ve fought back, fought the sedating drugs, but they struck whenever his guard fell for a brief moment. How were they able to time such things?

Cold liquid hit Leeteuk’s face, cascading down to seep into the welts criss-crossing his chest. He licked his lips, tasting something similar to water roll down his throat. It had the incessant bitter after taste though. Leeteuk smirked in almost calm aggravation as he continued to swallow as the tainted water that slid down the lines of face. “Can’t you give me real water?” he spat.

Disgustingly familiar fingers copied the curve of his jaw, lifting his head up. “It’s my job as your earthly foster home to make you feel as humans feel,” Doo-Joon replied, black eyes trailing up to the chains holding the angel’s arms up, “Are you tired…?”

“I was tired five days ago,” Leeteuk stated.

Doo-Joon nodded almost affectionately and walked over to where the chains were knotted. Without much thought or effort, he released it, watching in fascination as Leeteuk collapsed to the cold cement, his body curling into a ball. The dark haired youth strode back to the fallen angel, shoving him onto his back and pressing the sole of his foot into the tensed shoulders, respectively. Leeteuk groaned, jaw muscles flexing in pain. Doo-Joon lowered himself until he was straddling those lean hips. “You’ve taken so much sin already,” he breathed, removing a sharpened knife from his back pocket, “Won’t you take more for the poor, Hell-bound souls?”

“No,” Leeteuk growled.

“Angels shouldn’t be selfish,” Doo-Joon remarked, breaking skin with the very tip of the knife. He listened in silent interest as the blonde’s breath hitched and he let out a small whimper. “You’re so brave…,” the knife-wielder smiled casually, digging the metal deeper into the boy’s chest. He traced the welts pulsating on that fair skin, finding sick delight in the scarlet he spilled. “If others could see you so beautiful, I’m sure many would have the idea of protecting you, or perhaps loving you…but you know that’s not possible right?” Doo-Joon leaned forward until their faces were nearly touching. “Angels exist to pity.”

“I don’t pity you,” Leeteuk whispered, eyes red from exhaustion and pain, “you’re worthy of burning in the fucking deepest pits of Hell—” the knife abruptly jerked out and he cut himself off, back arching away from the cold ground. He gasped, eyes shutting in withheld agony.

Doo-Joon stared coldly down at Leeteuk, thoughts creating themselves in the dark depths capturing the latter. Carefully pronouncing each word, Doo-Joon said, “If you don’t pity me, that means human sin has corrupted you far too much. We have to purify your heart…” He stood up, gliding back to the fallen chains. They wound back up, dragging the heap of a bleeding person to his feet.

Numbing heat gnawed at Leeteuk’s joints, the rough metal biting into the skin of wrists once more. His shoulder had gone beyond the point of pain. It was now something familiar if not a bit uncomfortable. That’s what allowed him to feel in full force the wounds across his body. Leeteuk lowered his head, the sedatives taking affect on his body’s mobility. However, the limp feeling was quickly shattered as striking, shooting fire sliced his back. The angel threw his head back, an unparalleled scream erupting from deep inside him. It came again cutting into the first. His eyes filled with tears, lungs burning from the uncontrollable cries cracking his vocal chords. The next strike bit into the opposing side, a pulsating cross forming upon his bleeding red back. Leeteuk shook his head, fingers closing into tight fists. Sobs broke through the shouts, both legs giving out from the new torture. He collapsed forward but neither of his leg moved, body still suspended.

Doo-Joon circled around to face the sobbing angel, the whip in his hand falling to the ground. A relieved smile broke over his features and he gently placed hands on Leeteuk’s hips, gazing up at the tear streaked face. “You’re absolutely stunning right now, Angel,” he murmured, kissing the chained boy’s cheek, “I must apologize though…I was being too emotional earlier,” another kiss near his jaw, “You must be anxious about the sinners who have been housing you,” he found the cold, quivering lips of an angel, pressing a warm kiss to them, “That’s why you allowed human sin to eat away at you, hmm? Don’t worry anymore. I’ve been working to save the only one worthy of being saved… He’s the one that you’ll pity instead of me.”

“W-What?” Leeteuk croaked.

“Not yet, my Angel,” Doo-Joon hushed, taking out a piece of cloth and stuffing it in the confused boy’s mouth. Leeteuk gagged silently, eyes closing as he tried to adapt to the object in his mouth. “You’ll watch and shine mercifully. You’ll be there to help him find his way during this difficult time. You see,” Doo-Joon said softly, “he’s afraid of betraying those sinners. But you must be here to take his fear and confusion. Otherwise, I’ll never be able to save him.”

Leeteuk cried out but the sound was muffled. The answer to his failed question came then. The warehouse door opened and closed, someone walking out into the empty space. Doo-Joon watched the realization dawn on the lovely blonde’s face and a smile crept over his features. He brushed a few locks of hair out of Leeteuk’s face before turning away, stepping out of the shadows. He entered the light, embracing the youthful, slender boy waiting for him.

“Nichkhun,” Doo-Joon greeted, pulling away slightly so he could kiss the boy, “you came just like I told you.” He moved his hands down to follow the curve of the smaller boy’s rear.

“Yeah…,” Nichkhun smiled, arms encircling the other’s neck, “…I couldn’t stay away. I want you inside of me…that’s all I’ve been able to think about these days.”

Doo-Joon chuckled, “I know, otherwise you wouldn’t have so willingly helped us get Angel.”

“But…he’s alright isn’t he?” the boy asked quietly. “You said you wouldn’t hurt him too badly this time…you didn’t make him take too much sin, right?”

Leeteuk was screaming then, through the moistened fabric stuffed in his mouth. The sound was taken as nothing more than the wind hitting the windows. He tried to rattle the chains but again, it was taken as background noise. It was useless. Leeteuk could only watch in shock as he heard his dearest friend spout all of the crazy things Doo-Joon believed. Tears spilled from his eyes for the second time that hour as he saw the absolute trust in Nichkhun’s gaze. How…How had things become so bad? How had his closest comrade sold him out?

“No one’s here, right?” Nichkhun inquired between wet kisses. Doo-Joon shook his head. With that, the smaller one unbuckled Doo-Joon’s pants and proceeded to suck the lying, crazed bastard off. Leeteuk looked away but there was no way to close his ears. The moans…the slapping skin…everything created an unwanted image in his mind. Without seeing it, he was forced to see it. Every oral penetration and pant, every shifting of clothing, every pleasured moan and groan was documented.

“I’m cumming, babe…” Doo-Joon grunted.

There were sounds of slurping and sucking but then there was a pop and more shifting. “No, I want your cum inside of me…”

“You can be such a slut,” he laughed.

“But it’s the truth,” Nichkhun whined, “please put your—” Leeteuk made muffled noises, drowning out as much of the conversation as he could. It worked for a few seconds but then the sedatives were slowing his bodily functions down. All of the strength summoned dissipated and his head fell forward, chest heaving.

“Get on your hands and knees,” Doo-Joon ordered. And then the room was filled with the penetrated boy’s cries of pure lust. He was screaming incoherently, adding to the sounds of thrusting and skin contact.

Leeteuk wanted to deafen himself, truly. It was his one wish in that moment. Nothing was worth listening to the betrayal of his best friend.

“Nichkhun…have you ever done anything like this with Angel?” Doo-Joon murmured as he continued to thrust into the other boy.

“No…but I’ve always wanted to…,” he admitted through labored pants. Leeteuk’s eyes burst open and he stared down at the floor. For a split second he was going to look up but then stopped himself, remembering what was going on.

“Do you jerk-off to him?” Doo-Joon inquired in a low voice.

Nichkhun whimpered and breathed, “Sometimes…b-but when we first started this, I would always imagine you were him… But then you explained to me that he’s untouchable…that’s probably why I could never be with him, right?”

“That’s right,” Doo-Joon murmured, “No one can have him. He’s a guardian, a pitying deity.”

“I’m cumming, Joonie…!”

“Louder, you have to be louder,” he growled.

The boy did as he was told, his release echoing deep inside Leeteuk.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

 

 

The door clicked and Kangin sat up in bed. Leeteuk strode into the room; his book bag was slung over one shoulder. A pile of books rested in the crook of an arm, seeming to be too much for the slight boy. Kangin got up, hurrying over to take the pile before Leeteuk fell over from the weight. “Whoa, why do you have so much today?” he questioned, setting the books down on the other’s desk.

Leeteuk smiled at Kangin and dropped the book bag on the floor beside his chair. “The Freshmen Board is throwing a Halloween Rave and so I have a lot of research to do.” He unbuttoned his jacket, shrugging off the material and tossing it on the edge of his bed. “You see, there aren’t any facilities on campus that are big enough for all of the freshmen who enrolled this semester. We’re looking for off-campus places.”

“What about the kids who try to sneak out to play around the area?” Kangin asked, taking a seat back on his own bed and leaning against the wall.

“That’s a good point,” Leeteuk affirmed, loosening his tie and rolling up the sleeves of his shirt. He pushed his glasses up and took a seat in the chair, spinning around to face Kangin. “We have to raise the money for proper security guards. Plus, all of the board members will be patrolling shifts. If anyone sneaks off then you can be sure we’ll find them.”

“You’re very confident,” Kangin remarked, grinning at the slender boy, “…but don’t you think you’re a little…defenseless?” Before Leeteuk could argue, Kangin was saying, “When you tried to break up a fight you got injured and removed.”

“I think I’ll be fine,” the dark haired boy huffed, eyes twinkling, “plus, Yunho will be there too. With both of us blocking your way, you won’t be able to get through.”

Kangin frowned and scooted off the bed, waving for the other to stand up as well. At Leeteuk’s hesitance, the taller boy, sighed and said, “Get up. We’re going to do a scenario.” Leeteuk got up, walking over to Kangin.

 The latter nodded approvingly. He cleared his throat and began by taking a long step towards the smaller boy. “Move,” he demanded, glaring down at Leeteuk and trying desperately not to laugh at the gruffness forced into his voice.

“I’m sorry, but you can’t leave the area,” he explained firmly.

“Says who? You?” Kangin pushed the smaller boy – gently – but with enough force to send him teetering slightly.

A flash of annoyance pierced the boy’s eyes and he stood his ground, leaning forward. “It’s dangerous and the school won’t permit it. Please return and have fun while you’re here.”

Kangin sighed and shook his head. “No, no Teukie, that’s no good.”                              

“What?” Leeteuk blinked, surprised, “But I thought…well, what am I saying wrong? I told you the truth, didn’t I? Isn’t that good enough?”

The larger frowned, “What sort of people do you think you’re going up against? They’ll tear you apart if you give them a reason like that. Whether or not it is the truth doesn’t matter,” Kangin finished. He cleared his throat and said, “You have to prove that you’re stronger than them. It’s not going to help if you use ‘school’ as a reason. That just pisses them off. So we’re going to try this again, except this time you have to be forceful.”

“Okay,” Leeteuk nodded seriously, looking as if he had taken care to absorb all that information.

“Oh, and if they get too violent then get a teacher or come find me, okay?” Kangin added and again, Leeteuk firmly nodded.

Kangin took a slow breath and then started again. “Hey, move.”

“No. You’re not allowed to pass this point,” the smaller stated.

“Says who?” he shoved Leeteuk but the moment he did, the latter pushed back on him.

“Says me,” Leeteuk snapped, glaring from behind his glasses.

Kangin raised an eyebrow, suppressing his laughter at the cute threat. At least words like those wouldn’t piss anyone off; they might want to rape the guy but that was a little bit easier to prevent, don’t you think? _This is sort of fun…_ Kangin smirked down at Leeteuk, gripping his shoulder, “You? You think a little thing like you can stop me?” He shoved him but almost in unison, Leeteuk snatched Kangin’s sleeves and jerked him sideways.

Caught off guard, Kangin tumbled down, landing half over Leeteuk. His eyes widened and he found himself mere centimeters from the slender boy’s face. They stared at one another for a long moment, both unable to react to the proximity.

Leeteuk felt his heart beating faster, heat crawling over features at the memory of their shared kiss. How could he have been so willful to ask for a kiss? Now it was all back to haunt him. Leeteuk gulped, trying to force the memory away. “K…Kangin, sorry…,” he mumbled, voice barely above a whisper, “I…I didn’t mean to push you down.”

“A-Ah…,” Kangin answered hesitantly, feeling his entire body and mind being pulled towards the flushed boy beneath him, “U-Uhm…Leeteuk…”

“Yeah…?” he answered quietly as his face leaned up tentatively in reply to Kangin.

The latter pressed down further, eyelids growing heavier as the air stilled. He meant to say more, truly he did, but then their lips were touching and the most electrifying currents were coursing through veins. Kangin shifted, holding himself off the smaller boy as they continued exploring the heat forming at their contact. The grip on his sleeves loosened, those slim fingered hands rising up to envelop his neck and drag him closer. Leeteuk pushed slightly off the floor, yearning to feel that broad, warm frame protecting him from…from anything, everything. He parted his lips, internally smiling at Kangin’s immediate compliance. The latter stifled a groan at the tongue tangling with his and attempted to deepen the kiss somehow; somehow so they could experience even more of the suffocating heat.

Leeteuk wasn’t about to argue. Arms wrapped around his waist as he was flipped over to lie on top of the muscular boy. He didn’t dare break the kiss, barely dared to breathe. The glasses perched on his nose slipped off, clattering to the hardwood. Neither noticed though, both too caught up in the pressure of bodies and wet warmth. Leeteuk’s breathing grew more labored as did his partner’s, the longer they spent without coming up for fresh air.

Reluctantly, the slender boy dragged his mouth away from that delicious sensation and gulped down cool, crisp air. It only lasted a moment though. Kangin tangled fingers in the smaller one’s hair, forcing him back down into unrelenting kiss. A quiet whimper broke from Leeteuk’s lips but it was quickly smothered.

There was rapping at the door.

When Leeteuk attempted to look up, Kangin held him closer, grunting in annoyance. The prior giggled and ignored the knocking as well. But then there was a voice coming through the wooden barrier. “Teukie? Are you there?” Yunho.

Leeteuk’s eyes shot open in alarm and he pushed away from Kangin, heart beating quickly for an utterly different reason now. “A-Ah, Yunho what is it?” he called, scrambling away from the boy beneath him. He patted his hair down and hurriedly fixed the wrinkled that formed in his collared shirt. A deep blush darkened his face as he reached down, snatching his glasses and putting them back on.

“I was wondering if you wanted some help with the research. You took all of it so I was worried…hey, can I come in?” he said through the door sounding rather confused.

“I’ll just come out!” Leeteuk replied promptly, grabbing the stack of books and stumbling towards the door.

This whole time Kangin simply watched with a mixture of irritation and dismay. He did however pick himself up off the floor and climb back into bed. There was no continuing that night. Kangin picked up his phone and started texting. The door opened and closed quickly, leaving him in silence once more.

A smile spread across Kangin’s lips. No matter how unfair it was that someone interrupted, it still happened right?

 

 

 


	14. Chapter 14

 

 

**All the lights were on inside creating a beacon for the lost souls staggering towards the backdoor. There was a trio of shadows, blending into the dark of night. None spoke, none daring to break the silence and give away their position. It was not for the ones they had escaped; it was for the ones whom they may have run into. Lurkers spent those hours of dark searching for poor confused children, hoping to devour the last of their humanity for a few giggles.**

**The trio knew that. They lived that. Sometimes, they could be that, but only on a particularly sour week.**

**Inside they went, slamming and locking the metal door behind them. Yunho let out a held breath, loosening the iron grip with which he held up Leeteuk. The latter slumped to the ground, body curling into a pitiful ball of tattered, dirtied cloth – not even clothing anymore – and dark blood. He trembled even in the warm kitchen, scarlet liquid trickling from the fresh wounds caused by escape.**

**A useless little man shuffled into the area, eyes trailing over the messed up child. He turned away, acting as if he saw nothing, not bothering to offer a hand though he clearly saw the long, disfiguring slashes criss crossing the child’s back.**

**Yunho curled his lip in disgust at the shameless cowardice. He shoved past the caretaker, reappearing moments later with a group of boys. The tallest and oldest headed them, tousled black hair dancing around his angular face. His gaze was chilling, entire air indifferent. Leeteuk tilted his head up to look at the leader and as their eyes met, the cold exterior cracked noticeably in the depths of his eyes.**

**The blonde’s gaze crumpled whilst his expression stayed flat. “DaeHyun-hyung…,” his voice cracked blending into a hoarse coughing fit.**

**“Get him to his room,” DaeHyun ordered.**

**Leeteuk felt careful hands grab different limbs, lifting him into the air. One face in particular stood out to him, the one that gave him an affectionate look. “You’ll be okay,” Nichkhun said encouragingly, “we’re here now, Leeteuk.”**

**“Be…,” the blonde started but then his voice disappeared and a shudder rolled through his body.**

**They set him down on the edge of his bed before quickly evacuating the room. Nichkhun seemed like he wanted to stay but then Yunho was placing a hand on the boy’s shoulder saying, “You don’t want to be in here when we’re cleaning him up.”**

**Nichkhun hesitated but then nodded and slowly left the room, closing the door behind him. In Yunho’s hands were first aid supplies as well as a tub of warm water. He opened the box, removing a pair of scissors and snipping all of the rags away. They fell to the floor, leaving Leeteuk’s upper half bare and grotesque.**

**“Shit…,” Yunho muttered, sitting down behind the boy and soaking a thick cloth in the water.**

**A warm, wet cloth dabbed at his bloodied body. Leeteuk kept his head down, too tired to support himself. All the muscles ached and shuddered, sensitive to the heated room. His eyes trailed across the hardwood floor mindlessly. Everything dared to shut down – but nothing did. It wasn’t by choice. Just because it felt safe didn’t mean it was. The moment he let his guard down, anything and everything went to hell.**

**“Hey, hey, stay awake,” Yunho muttered, rinsing the bloodied cloth in a tub of warm water. He wrung it out, diluted scarlet trickling between fingers. Carefully, Yunho started cleaning the deepest cut on his friend’s back. “…You should’ve just listened to them until we got there.” He spoke softly, trying to be kind to the fatigued boy.**

**“He’s a psycho,” Leeteuk murmured, “you wanted me to listen to him?”**

**“No, sorry,” he replied, “but whatever you said must’ve seriously pissed him off. Usually he doesn’t target the same spot like this…”**

**Leeteuk sighed shakily, lungs still burning from the cold, “I don’t know. …Where’s Nichkhun?”**

**“He’s asleep,” Yunho replied, “why?”**

**“…I saw him with Doo-Joon. They’re fucking.”**

**Yunho’s hand slid down and Leeteuk cried out, body tensing. The latter winced. “Sorry. Anyway, what do you mean by that? Nichkhun wouldn’t do that. He’s your best friend too—”**

**“—would they ever be able to even touch me, let alone get me, if I had my guard up?” Leeteuk interrupted.**

**“No.”**

**“I only let my guard down around one person,” he said almost inaudibly, “I’m not mistaken. It was him. He’s the one that’s been sending me to them this whole time.”**

**“That’s crazy…,” Yunho muttered tentatively. He dropped the cloth towel into the tub and picked up a needle and thread, “I’m going to start stitching you up, okay?” Leeteuk’s head rose and fell once. Slowly, Yunho pierced the skin with needle and starting sewing. “We can’t let him stay here then.”**

**“I know, but which is worse? Having him under our roof where we can see him or…” The door softly clicked and Leeteuk looked up, vaguely seeing the person who entered. After a second, the voice that spoke cleared up everything and Leeteuk let out a sigh of relief. His body relaxed further as a faint smile touched his lips.**

**“I’ll take over, Yunho,” DaeHyun stated in a soothing voice, “you’re not the best at stitches.”**

**“Thanks,” the boy said, sounding as relieved as Leeteuk had a few moments ago. Yunho carefully handed the needle to DaeHyun and headed towards the door. “I’m gonna get some sleep.”**

**“Night,” Leeteuk answered as the door closed once more. Familiar warmth spread from the hands rested on his backside. “DaeHyun…?”**

**“I’ll be done in ten minute. Wait,” the older boy hushed. And so, Leeteuk stayed silent for the next ten minutes. DaeHyun finished the stitches, cleaned the rest of the blood away and wrapped gauze all around the open wounds after applying ointment. He took a band-aid, gently pressing it to the scratched back of Leeteuk’s hand. The older boy ran fingers through the younger’s hair, inspecting the beaten youth’s face. A look of disapproval crossed over those sharp features.**

**Gently, DaeHyun slid his hand around the nape of Leeteuk’s neck, other arm wrapping around his upper thighs. He lifted the slender boy up, setting him back down on his lap on the bed. The wall was behind them, supporting DaeHyun’s back. “You can’t lie down yet, and your chest is injured too,” he murmured, gazing up at the blonde.**

**Leeteuk settled against the crook of the other’s neck, eyes heavy with exhaustion. “Thank you,” he whispered, sighing softly as a blanket was pulled up around them. The blonde nuzzled closer to the dark haired boy, lips brushing against his inner neck. “It hurt so much…I…I didn’t think I would make it this time…,” his was shaking then, tears running down his cheeks as his sobs broke against the older boy’s skin.**

**“You’re safe here,” he replied, tilting his head down to capture the trembling boy’s lips. His heavy, dark eyes shimmered sincerely, “I know you don’t think so, but so long as I’m next to you, no one will hurt you.”**

**“But he did—”**

**DaeHyun kissed him again. “I wasn’t there…but I will be from now on,” he breathed, “he won’t get to you anymore. You can rely on me, Leeteuk. I’ll always be there.”**

**“…Nichkhun’s a traitor…,” Leeteuk said softly, eyes downcast.**

**“Should we kill him?”**

**Leeteuk looked up, eyes widening. He frowned immediately after seeing the teasing glint in the other’s eyes. “Don’t joke like that,” the blonde muttered, stifling a chuckle and playing with the hem of the older one’s shirt.**

**“You know that if we send him out, he’ll be joining them though.”**

**“He’s already joined them,” Leeteuk whispered, “It makes no difference…”**

**DaeHyun nodded slightly, “Sleep, Leeteuk. I’ll take care of everything, so relax for a while.”**

**As if on command, his eyes shut and the world darkened.**


	15. Chapter 15

 

 

Leeteuk closed his eyes briefly, laying his head down on the open textbook. Midterms were soon and he had been slacking while preparing for the Halloween Rave; not to mention him and Kangin were in a perplexing situation. Leeteuk frowned at nothing in particular. This wasn’t normal. He wasn’t used to feeling so…normal, no, better than normal. The way it was with Kangin…well, everything fluttered and jumped and warmed. But ever since that night a week ago, things were progressing rather oddly.

Neither of them had brought it up, let alone made another move. Leeteuk blushed, burrowing his head in the textbook. How horrible was it that he wanted Kangin to do something…anything? Leeteuk didn’t have raging hormones, but he just couldn’t forget the way that kiss felt and the way those arms fit so perfectly around him…

Abruptly, his backside chilled. Leeteuk spun around, sitting straight up. The student teacher, Choi Seunghyun, stood only a foot or so away from him with the most surprised expression on his face. “I didn’t expect you to turn around,” Seunghyun remarked, offering a small smile, “I was worried that you had fallen asleep so I just wanted to wake you up.”

Leeteuk nodded and plastered a smile on his face. “Thank you for the concern, Mr. Choi. I’m fine though. So why are you here this afternoon?” His tone took a professional turn, the freshman board member side of him coming out.

“I’m helping chaperone the Halloween party your board is hosting,” the man replied, leaning against the wooden table, “and I wanted to look up so tips on chaperoning. But now that I see you’re here, could you tell me what position I’ll have?”

The student rifled through some papers, producing a binder and flipping through it. After a few more moments, Leeteuk opened up to a page listing all of the chaperones. “You’ll be stationed on the balcony, watching for any inappropriate behavior on the floor.” He looked up at the teacher then, smiling. “Was that helpful, Mr. Choi?”

Seunghyun blinked and then declined his head slightly, “Thank you, Leeteuk. Then I’ll see you tomorrow night for the event. Tell me if you need any help. I’d be willing to offer it.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” the boy answered, tucking the binder back into his messenger bag, “I am available for school related purposes at any time so please feel free to ask me any questions you might have while you’re working here. Also, look to the Student Government. They’ve been here far longer than me so I’m sure they know quite a bit more.”

“Don’t say that, I’m sure you know a lot about this school already, what with your studious nature,” Seunghyun stated casually, his gaze intensifying the longer their eyes remained locked.

“That’s very kind of you…,” Leeteuk answered, breaking the contact and turning back to his book.

“Have you always been such a good student, Leeteuk?” Seunghyun pressed, scooting just a bit closer to the younger boy. “I’ve heard that this academy was built for foster program kids… Maybe you’re one of them as well?”

Dread seeped through his pores, infesting his system uncomfortably. Leeteuk glanced up at the dark haired teacher, the same feeling from when the man sneaked up on him entering his veins. “Well we’re all reformers I suppose.”

A strange expression crossed Seunghyun’s face, sharp eyes growing cold and knowing. He caught a lock of Leeteuk’s hair, gently rolling the strands between his fingers. The man’s voice dropped to a low, hushed whisper as he leaned forward, beginning to slip away from the table. “You’d look good with blonde hair, did you know that?”

Leeteuk’s eyes widened, ice cutting into his veins. He whipped around to go after the leaving man but then he was face to face with Kangin.

The latter blinked, confused. “Are you okay, Teukie?” His hands left pockets, hovering unsure around Leeteuk’s arms as if ready to comfort the slender boy if he were scared. “You look freaked out…”

Leeteuk shook his head, clearing throat and forcing himself to calm down. “W-Why are you, Kangin?” he forced a smile, knowing that it probably came out more as a twitch.

“It’s dinner time,” the taller boy said slowly, hand closing around Leeteuk’s innocently, “don’t you want to go eat? You can study back in the dorm room afterwards.”

“Yeah…that’s true,” he squeezed Kangin’s hand unintentionally, simply wanting to feel more of his warmth. He laced his fingers through the taller one’s, eyes absently trailing around the floor and mid-ground. “Let me just grab my books.”

“Ah, wait,” Kangin blurted, blushing and looking away for a split second. He flexed his fingers awkwardly and then quickly pressed a kiss to the smaller one’s cheek.

Leeteuk touched his cheek, mouth forming a small o-shape. For a moment he forgot all about the past, the future, the next day, the fresh encounter…all he could think in that moment was how his heart had never beat so fast.

But then…maybe…maybe if he were good enough for Kangin, he could mistake those feelings for mutual attraction. If Leeteuk wasn’t hiding his former self, perhaps they could be together. But…even then, who could accept someone like him? Who in their right mind would want a fake angel with all the scars of a criminal?

He surely wouldn’t.

That meant Kangin surely wouldn’t either.

Doo-Joon was right in a way. Leeteuk wasn’t allowed to be loved. But it wasn’t because of his purity. It was because of the cold, mutilated life. Somewhere out there the sick bastard should be celebrating. He had driven even Leeteuk to believe that he wasn’t worth it.

Leeteuk let go of Kangin’s hand, turning away to grab his books. “Okay, let’s go,” he said after collecting everything and taking the spot beside Kangin once more. This time however, he did not take the hand gently swaying beside him.

Someone else should take it.

Someone who was not ashamed to be free.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

 

“Shouldn’t you be something…cooler?” Kangin remarked, looking Eunhyuk up and down. “I mean…a fish, really?” He flicked the blue material, watching it ripple.

Eunhyuk shooed Kangin’s hand away, frowning. “And what are you supposed to be? A rock star?” he scoffed, eyeing the taller boys elaborate outfit of chains, checkered patterns, and leather. “Did you borrow it from the Theater Club?”

“Yeah,” Kangin replied, adjusting his leather vest. “This was all that they had left so I took it. We should get going though. The bus leaves in like five minutes, right?” He checked his phone, one hand already on the door knob. “Teukie might be my roommate but I’m pretty sure he puts school issues above all else.”

“Man, what’s the good of having a board member as your roommate if you can’t reap the benefits?” Eunhyuk smirked teasingly. “But then again, I guess you don’t really mind. You get other benefits don’t you…?”

“Shut up, what are you talking about, don’t answer that,” Kangin replied hastily, averting his gaze.

“Uh…huh…?” the anchovy costumed boy trailed after his friend. They walked down the staircase of the first year dorms, passing a few anti-social peers along the way. Apparently not every foster child wanted to get back out there. You couldn’t blame them when you didn’t know what they had seen out there though. Eunhyuk caught Kangin’s shoulder as the neared the exit, saying, “Do you know what Teukie is being?”

“I think he said he’s not dressing up,” Kangin answered, failing to hide the dismay in his voice. Honestly, he had wanted to see the other boy wearing something cute – maybe a bunny or bear costume. Wouldn’t that be—what was he thinking? Kangin internally sighed. He was becoming so odd. Before meeting Leeteuk, he had never thought about anyone that much. He had never wanted to touch someone so much – not in that way…well, sort of – but it was more like his mind called out to the other boy. There was something deep inside of him that just…

“There you two are!” Leeteuk waved his hand at them. The slender, glasses wearing boy wore a white sweater falling mid-way down his thighs, looking more vulnerable than normal. He held a clipboard and pen. “We’re waiting for you guys, hurry up!”

Kangin gave his roommate an exasperated look, patting his head. “You’re supposed to be security. What are you doing wearing that?”

“It’s baggy, that’s still intimidating right?” Leeteuk replied, eyebrows drawing together in confusion. _I wore stuff like this back then…_ His eyes scanned over Kangin and a smile broke over his features. “You look funny,” he giggled.

“That’s not the right reaction,” Kangin muttered, flattening his specially done hair.

Leeteuk pushed Kangin’s hand away from the blonde extensions in his black locks, frowning. “Don’t mess it up! It looks like the theater club worked really hard to do that for you.” Everything was alright so long as they were just friends. Acting natural, playing around, being friendly, all of that was okay. Everyone deserved friendship. It was beyond that…not everyone could have what was beyond that.

“Whatever,” Kangin rolled his eyes but stopped messing with his hair anyway, “you should’ve dressed up Teukie,” he smiled at the boy, feeling all of the tender emotions leaking out. It wasn’t on purpose…it just sort of happened.

Leeteuk broke eye contact to look at Yunho who was climbing down from the bus to see what the holdup was. “Sorry we’re coming,” Leeteuk said before the other board member could utter a word. The latter nodded and went back into the bus.

“You heard Teukie, let’s go,” Eunhyuk prompted, pushing Kangin towards the bus.

After rereading the checklist one more time, Leeteuk took a deep breath and prepared to turn towards the waiting vehicle. From the corner of his eye he saw the chaperones getting into an SUV. Shudders rolled up his spine as he caught sight of the dark haired Seunghyun. The student teacher smirked at him, waving slightly, mockingly.

Leeteuk swiveled, jaw clenching. His eyes narrowed precisely, chills mixing with adrenaline inside of him. Yunho caught the boy’s gaze, alarm rolling over his face. “What’s up?” he murmured as Leeteuk climbed the steps of the bus.

“Be careful tonight,” he whispered, “and watch my back.”

“I always do,” Yunho replied, his own face growing hard from habit.

 

“A few ground rules guys,” Leeteuk announced after the bus pulled up to the large venue. Everyone stayed silent, waiting anxiously for the boy to finish his speech so they could go have fun. “First, no leaving the area. Second, don’t eat and drink until you throw up. I know there are a lot of yummy foods but it’s not healthy to stuff yourself and then exercise right away. You’ll get sick. Third, if you _really_ want to play pranks please limit them to something easy to clean up. If you throw a cherry bomb into a toilet or something, we’re going to have a problem and trust us board members, we’ll figure out who did it,” he smiled like an avenging angel and no one dared to even shoot him an annoyed look. Leeteuk nodded approvingly. “And lastly, if you have any problems just come to us, we’ll help you to the best of our ability. Have a good time!” He stepped aside and everyone poured out of the bus, joining the other students who were exiting Bus 2.

Kangin flashed a small smile at Leeteuk as he passed, receiving a dimple smile in return. Eunhyuk rolled his eyes and shoved his friend, telling him to go faster. “You can grab him on the dance floor later,” the anchovy remarked softly, grinning and dodging Kangin’s fist.

“And who’re you off to dance with?” the taller boy scoffed.

“I don’t know, anyone, everyone,” Eunhyuk shrugged, “they’re all horny anyway. If I really want some, all I have to do is grind up on someone.”

Kangin sighed under his breath. That was a horribly indecent remark, not that Kangin was the most innocent thing out there…but still. He shuddered to think about rubbing up against some guy who he didn’t know, or worse, someone he didn’t know that was ugly. Perhaps that was shallow, but it was high school. No one could deny outward judgment.

The sky was already dark at 7 PM. None of them seemed to mind though, in fact, many appeared to relax at the sight of so many shadows. Leeteuk couldn’t blame them. A small part of him felt better in a hidden place, but only a small part. Mostly he was tense knowing that there were people out there, people he didn’t want to confront. He looked up at the sky and smiled just a bit. The stars were beautiful in person, too bad he couldn’t see them with the city lights so close. Although the location was right on the edge, it was still close enough to be effected by light pollution.

Yunho brushed Leeteuk’s arm. “Who’s making you nervous?” he asked as they shut the doors of the rave house after making sure everyone was inside. Hopefully the chaperones were doing their job and watching for any runners.

He placed a hand on Yunho’s shoulder, leaning up until his lips were nearly touching the other’s ear. “The new teacher,” Leeteuk murmured, eyes trailing upwards to indicate the balcony.

Smoothly, Yunho led the shorter boy into the mess of students, pulling him into his arms closely to continue the conversation. Their perimeter watch didn’t start until halfway through the party. Leeteuk placed his arms around the other’s neck, tugging him lower and closer. “He’s watching, right?” he said in a cold voice.

Yunho pressed his lips against Leeteuk’s ear, mumbling back, “Yeah. I don’t recognize him though.”

“I don’t either, that’s the problem,” Leeteuk stated, frowning, “…he knows who I am though.”

“Direct confrontation?” Yunho asked.

“No, he knows I was blonde though.”

Yunho stiffened at that, but only someone right up against him would’ve noticed. The song ended then and suddenly everyone was moving, changing partners and positions. “He’ll get suspicious if we stay like this,” Yunho muttered, “front to back?”

“Ah,” Leeteuk nodded, sliding his arms down as he turned to press his back against Yunho. His hands rested over the latter’s as they continued swaying to the music. The shorter boy tilted his head up, one hand curving around the nape of Yunho’s neck. “When he moves—”

Abruptly, a strong hand snatched Leeteuk’s wrist, jerking him away from the surprised boy. Leeteuk stumbled forward, turning his head back in time to mouth “follow him!” But then the slender boy was bumping into a warm muscular frame.

Kangin glared down at him, vehemently. “What are you doing grinding all over another guy like that?!” he shouted over the music.

“W-What?” Leeteuk stuttered, heart beat racing faster the longer he stayed flush against the masculine boy’s body.

“You kiss me one day and then the next you’re with Yunho?” Kangin snapped utterly unaware of his own actions. He didn’t understand what was controlling him, making him say those things. It wasn’t meant to happen like that. Why did it bother him to see that image? At first, nothing too bad boiled in his stomach. But then Leeteuk was turning around and grinding his hips into that string bean… Kangin’s body had moved all on its own, pouncing – marking territory. But…what territory…was there even territory to claim?

Leeteuk pushed on Kangin’s chest, urging him to loosen his iron grip. “I—Well, I didn’t mean to provocatively dance with Yunho! We’re not in that sort of relationship, I promise!” Why was he begging? He couldn’t fathom the reason behind the stress gnawing at his heart. The way Kangin was looking at him sent painful shockwaves through his system…Leeteuk just didn’t want to be loathed and at that moment it appeared as if Kangin wanted to rip someone – anyone’s – face off.

“Then why were you doing that? Front to back dancing isn’t exactly innocent!” he yelled.

“But I had—,” Leeteuk cut himself off. The words wouldn’t dare leave his lips. It wasn’t the right time – would it ever be – to tell Kangin about his past. How could he explain that they were keeping an eye on a possible enemy? That just sounded preposterous! Leeteuk swallowed and turned the sincerest, pleading eyes up to Kangin. “Just…believe me that I wasn’t doing anything like that with Yunho! I would never do anything like that with someone who wasn’t you—!” He clamped his mouth shut, eyes widening and casting downwards. What had he just blurted…?

Kangin’s arms rose up to hold the slopes of Leeteuk’s face, forcing the shocked boy to meet his gaze once more. “What did you just say?” he called over the music. Of course, Kangin had heard perfectly well and surely that reflected in his eyes. It was just…he wanted to hear it again – for verification purposes.

The boy shook his head vigorously, mouth a tight line.

“…Did you mean it?” Kangin said in a softer voice, his lips forming each word carefully.

Leeteuk paused, seemingly trying to lie. It was so obvious on his face, the look in his eyes… There was something new. The boy couldn’t lie. Kangin smiled gently, pressing his thumb against the seam of Leeteuk’s tightly shut lips. The latter fought back but soon his lips were parting and Kangin was leaning down towards them. Leeteuk meant to shove away then, to end it all before their feelings could be fully realized…but he wanted it. He wanted to kiss the other so much more than anything else in the world.

And so, he did.

However, fairy tales were for princes and princesses, children and dreamers. Just because love is realized doesn’t mean _shit._ It just means you’ve opened Pandora’s Box and it isn’t about to shut on its own.

So how did this unholy release appear in physical form?

Well, first the metal back door – which was quite well locked – burst open. No one heard, of course, because as you can figure, a box of pure evil is incredibly coy.

Then, the human form of darkness strode into the busy dance hall with its orange and purple strobe lights. They carried primal weapons – jagged clubs and metal pipes.

For several moments, no one paid them any mind. Leeteuk was too wrapped up in the sweet, unfortunate release of love and peril. Yunho was too busy getting beaten in the backroom – for that Seunghyun was just as much a part of Pandora’s Box as the party crashers, with all the speed and stealth to boot.

This was his gift. His gift to his beloved Angel, though at the moment he had no idea that the lovely heaven-sent was amidst the crowd; in the future he would claim it to be destiny.

On that particularly chilly Hallows’ Eve, the past would be unearthed just like the ghosts of long since past lore. It was the cracking of falsity. Escaping isn’t eternal.

Leeteuk should’ve known that.

Then again, it wouldn’t have made much of a difference.

 

 

 


	17. Chapter 17

 

 

All of them were used to chaos. Every form of it had been engraved in their hearts, minds and bodies from a young age. No, not everyone turned to violence, but many did. The ones who did still bore marks of glory that turned to shame. Some attempted to slash it up – erase it from existence through pain. It never worked though. The marks…they weren’t skin deep. They were deeper than blood and bone. It was a bond formed from nothing and everything, no origin, no end.

“Aw, look at all of them,” the head of evil remarked, looking around at the gyrating bodies as he licked his lips, “grab your favorite now or else it’s a free for all, boys.”

The three young men standing around him nodded, smirks plastered on faces. “Whoever’s left standing we’ll take, is that cool with you, hyung?” one of them prompted.

“Do whatever you want,” he replied, “and remember, do not to trash the place too much. This is Doo-Joon hyung’s new base. He’ll be pissed if it’s fucked up.”

Without another word, Taeyang lifted the metal pole over head bringing it down on the DJ sound table. Sparks flew up, lighting his crazed face. The music became scrambled, screeching one moment and silent the next. Taeyang bared teeth at the terrified DJ. “Run little bitch.” The man scrambled away, screaming and sobbing.

The dance hall silenced, all eyes turning to the trashed music board and invaders. Some of them seemed to recognize the group and ran just like the disc jockey had. Other however, just got pissed and yelled at them. They were quickly silenced as the sparking sound board was chucked into the crowd and everyone scattered. Screams broke out then, people running around aimlessly, trying desperately to get away from the madman.

Leeteuk’s eyes shot up to the second floor, finding that Seunghyun – as predicted – was nowhere to be found. “Yunho…,” he craned his neck, searching for the other boy desperately. He most definitely followed the man. Shit. Leeteuk glanced down at the hand leading him towards an exit and then up at the comforting backside of Kangin.

After a moment’s hesitation, Leeteuk tore out of the grip, fading backwards into the sea of people before Kangin could find him. There was no time for that. There would never be.

Leeteuk fought to the hallway leading up to the second story, pressing his ear up against all of the closed doors. Some three doors later, he could hear faint gasping and that’s all he needed to know. Leeteuk took a deep breath, stepped back and shouldered the door open with all his might. The lock snapped and light poured into the dimly lit closet. “Yunho!” he called.

The boy was leaning against a high shelf of cleaning products, blood bubbling from between his broken lips. One eye was swollen shut, the other surrounded by red scrapes. His shirt was stained, pants wrinkled and torn in places.

Seunghyun stood over him, a cigarette hanging from the corner of his mouth. The man turned around slightly to look at Leeteuk and a spark of thrill flashed in those dark black orbs. Spitting out and stepping on the cigarette, he smirked at Leeteuk, “You look so ordinary with that hair. Why’d you dye it black anyway?”

“Why did you beat him up? Who are you working for?” Leeteuk demanded, scanning the room with his eyes before cautiously moving towards the pair.

“He followed me. Where I come from we punish stalkers, y’know?” he barked a laugh, “what am I saying? You know better than almost anyone don’t you, _Angel?_ ”

“…”

“By the way, I haven’t introduced myself properly. _Our_ people know me as TOP. It’s good to finally meet you,” Seunghyun – or TOP – stated, chuckling. “I always heard rumors about you; everyone had news pertaining to you and your exploits. They used to call you the Loner. But then Doo-Joon Hyung took an interest and deemed you Angel—”

“—why are you talking about this?” Leeteuk snapped, throwing momentary looks of worry at the quickly failing Yunho. “It’s the past. It doesn’t matter.”

“It’s not the past Angel,” TOP said coldly, mouth flattening to a firm line, “Hyung will be so happy when he finds out where you’ve been this whole time. I haven’t told him yet because I was hoping to talk to you first.” He smirked. “Aren’t you excited?”

Leeteuk swung his leg in a high arch, drop kicking the older, broader man swiftly. He crashed into the concrete flooring, holding his fractured shoulder. The boy’s eyes were narrowed, chin slightly raised. “I didn’t want to resort to violence,” he murmured, grinding his knee into TOP’s chest, “…but you made a fucking stupid threat.” Leeteuk curled his hand around the clenching neck, squeezing, “I won’t kill you, but there are ways to make you lose your voice. There are ways to snap those pretty fingers of yours so you can’t write or type anymore.”

A short gasp from TOP.

Leeteuk reached down, easily breaking one of the man’s fingers. “Nine more to go.” A desperate moan escaped the older man’s lips and he tried to use his free hand to strike the boy. Leeteuk clicked his tongue and drove a fist into the man’s arm. “Eight.”

“Stop Teuk…,” Yunho coughed, holding his chest tightly.

 _Snap…_ “…Seven.”

The man was biting his lips now, drawing dark blood. Sweat beaded upon his brow the longer he withheld agonized screams. Yunho just allowed his head to loll aside, not wanting to watch the scene before him.

“Six.”

“Five.”

Leeteuk tossed the useless hand aside, barely giving the mangled digits a second glance. As he reached for the flailing hand, a loud banging disturbed him. Turning around, Leeteuk locked eyes with a white-blond haired man. “You’re his friend?” Leeteuk asked quietly, correcting his drooping glasses.

“He’s more like an underling. But who are you, cutie?” he smirked, striding up and snatching the slender boy’s chin. “And who taught you to do those things?” His eyes indicated the ruthless bone breaking.

“Get your hands off of me before I break your wrist,” Leeteuk murmured in a low voice.

“What makes you think you can order me around, huh?” the white-blonde laughed and jerked his head at the group of raiders entering the room. Leeteuk’s eyes flashed darkly but he said nothing. The intruders went over to Yunho, picking the boy up by his bruised neck.

“Don’t touch him!” Leeteuk spat, shoving off the white-blonde only to be instantly grabbed by two more guys. Yunho whimpered, weakly clawing at the arm holding him up.

“So who are you anyway?” White-Blonde prompted, gazing down at the subdued, kneeling boy. “I’m GD,” he added with a small smirk, “Third-Rank in Doo-Joon Hyung’s corps.” He flashed the tattoo on his chest.

Leeteuk’s expression was flat. His eyes flitted over to Yunho again, exchanging a look with the last bits of consciousness the other held. The argument was brief – mainly one sided. Leeteuk dropped his head for a moment and when he looked up, a bitter grin impressed his features. “If you’re only a Third-Rank you better as fucking hell let me go.”

“Do what he says…,” TOP croaked, cradling his broken hand, “…Angel…”

GD snorted, pushing Leeteuk backwards with the sole of his shoe. The boy tumbled into the concrete – both underlings having let go. “You expect me to believe that? You’re just trying to save face because a little brat beat the shit out of you.” GD glared in disgust at Leeteuk. “This little goodie-two-shoes geek couldn’t be that fucking golden haired war god….” The color suddenly drained from his face and he staggered away from Leeteuk. His eyes were wide, daring to pop out of his skull. A shaky finger rose, pointing at the revealing spot of skin shone to him. “…y-you’re not lying…oh shit you’re not lying…”

Leeteuk fixed his shirt and pointed at Yunho. The lackeys quickly handed him over and the glasses boy placed him on his back, carrying him out of the closet. “When you tell that psycho where I am, don’t forget to mention that you dared to hit me…,” his voice was clear and soft…threatening.

Without waiting for their reactions, Leeteuk hurried out of the building, passing into the street where the last of the students were quickly piling into the buses. Yunho groaned into his friend’s shoulder, muttering, “You dumbass…”

“I know…,” Leeteuk sighed, “but fighting all of them would’ve taken too long. We needed to get back…out of the past I mean…”

“They were wrong about a lot…,” Yunho grunted as Leeteuk ascended the steps of the bus and set him down in a seat. He gazed up at the still standing boy, finishing his words, “but you are too Teuk. …It’s not the past. This is the present. Face it…we can’t escape.”

 

Kangin stared at his roommate who was speaking to the bus full of students. The boy looked a bit disheveled but it was already too dark to see him clearly. Whoever he carried in looked pretty beat up but again, there was no way to identify him in the dark. All of this should’ve been a top concern or at the very least interest for Kangin. However, it wasn’t.

This is simply due to what he had seen. Being the good friend – possibly lover – he was, Kangin went back after Leeteuk. He saw the boy get pulled into the sea of people. And there was Kangin, rushing to his aid without a second though for what could’ve possibly pulled the boy away. It didn’t make sense, he should’ve noticed. The tide was in their favor so how had Leeteuk been dragged in the opposite direction without purpose?

But ah, there was purpose.

When Kangin finally got to the other end of the rave house, he found a hallway and in that hallway was his roommate knocking a door down as if it were nothing. He meant to call out but then he was in the doorway watching the supposedly vulnerable boy drop kick a man older and broader than him.

He then brought a knee crashing into the man – was that Choi Seunghyun? Kangin watched in horror as the sickening crack of fingers filled the air. That wasn’t possible. That smirk…could someone like Leeteuk even form such an expression?

“Nine more to go.” His voice… “Eight.”

Abruptly, Kangin’s eyes met the bloodied boy’s who was leaning against some shelves. Yunho. Kangin gaped at him. The latter turned to Leeteuk, pleading in his eyes and voice, “Stop Teuk…” but then he broke out coughing, clutching his chest.

But Kangin was already backing away from the room, from the crazed Leeteuk, and the failing Yunho. He didn’t know why he was running from the scene. Maybe it was fear. Maybe it was heartbreaking knowing that the first person to touch his heart was just as bad – no worse, than himself.

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content.

**“F-Fuck...,” Leeteuk groaned, stumbling to a sitting position. He looked around but could see nothing in the blackened room. Moments before he had been kneeling beside DaeHyun’s comatose form and the next here he sat. There was a poorly draped and barred window across from him, allowing some light into the stark enclosure.**

**A door opened and Leeteuk’s head shot up, meeting the warped eyes of his dearest friend, Nichkhun. The boy breathed a sigh of relief, hurrying over to kneel before Leeteuk. “I was afraid they hit you too hard. Doo-Joon wasn’t part of the rescue team…”**

**“What…?” the blonde winced, gingerly prodding his aching shoulder. “Don’t touch me…” He snapped angrily, shoving the concerned hand away. Leeteuk stumbled to his feet, slamming backwards into a wall. The world spun around him, flashing green and white and black every so often. “Why am I here?”**

**Nichkhun had that ignorant look of hurt painted on features. “…Why are you so against me, Angel? I’ve saved you from that horrible DaeHyun. He can’t control you anymore. He can’t bring you closer to sin—”**

**“—STOP TALKING LIKE HIM!” Leeteuk screamed, crashing to the ground, the force of his own voice knocking him to the hard floor. His teeth ground together, one hand going up to tightly grip his injured shoulder. “Just stop…you’re wrong about everything. He’s manipulating you, Nichkhun. Why do you listen to him?”**

**“I think you’re confused, Angel,” he answered mechanically, running his fingers through the blonde’s hair, “You haven’t been purified in so long…just swimming around in that hateful sin must be horrible. But don’t worry Doo-Joon said he’ll take care of you from now on…he said you’ll stay with us permanently now.” Nichkhun chuckled sweetly, sincerely. “Now we can be together again. We can be Angel and Human…”**

**Leeteuk shook his head, leaning away from the once familiar touch. “We were never like that. We were best friends. But we’re not anymore.”**

**“…You must be in shock, yes, that’s it,” Nichkhun muttered, slowly straightening and turning towards the door, “I’ll get Doo-Joon. He’ll help you, okay Angel?”**

**Leeteuk didn’t reply, continuing to give his former comrade a scornful glare. The door was open…if he could run for it, maybe— Leeteuk bolted, but Nichkhun knew him far too well. Without turning his back, the latter slammed the door shut, forcing Leeteuk straight into the metal barrier. He stifled a pained noise, staggering away from the darkened exit.**

**Moments later, the door reopened. Leeteuk leaned against the wall farthest away, prolonging the dreaded confrontation as much as possible. _His_ silhouette blocked the lighted hall for a mere second before the room was engulfed by night once more. He stepped into the moonlight as he approached Leeteuk, an almost caring smile on his lips. “You’re awake,” Doo-Joon remarked, stopping a few steps short of the blonde. “I’ve already punished them for their impudence. Your blood is too precious to spill for nothing.”**

**“They’ll come for me. DaeHyun will,” Leeteuk said softly, firmly.**

**Doo-Joon shrugged casually, confidently. “But when…? When will he manage to awaken from the slumber I induced?” He inched towards Leeteuk, pressing the palm of a hand to the boy’s smooth, chilled face. “I still recall every moment of the judgment. The trauma he must have felt from a head on collision…it’s terribly wonderful isn’t it?” His lips curved into a smile. “You cried for him, didn’t you? Offered unnecessary comfort to him…became a human lover for that ultimate sinner.”**

**“Get off,” Leeteuk spat through the haze of his mind. It was becoming harder and harder to pay attention, to control his fading body. “Go burn in hell…” There were strange happenings the longer those ugly fingers stroked his cheek. He had the sickening vision of leaning into the caress, to have that bastard hold him even closer… Leeteuk shook the thoughts away, attempting to shove the taller, stronger one away.**

**But then he was tightening his hold on the blonde, head lowering to press warm lips to skin. “That sinner, DaeHyun, is quite the genius,” Doo-Joon murmured against Leeteuk’s neck. His cold, calm hands worked their way underneath his shirt, pushing the material up. “He tricked an angel. He managed to take you, didn’t he?”**

**All his limbs were hyper-sensitive, breath catching from the simple touch of that bastard’s hands. Leeteuk fought the trembling but it was impossible; his body was aching and shivering. “What drug is this…?” he managed hoarsely, legs shaking so much that both knees gave out. Doo-Joon graciously helped his angel though, catching the boy and pinning him casually to the floor. Leeteuk growled at the movement, throwing his head backwards to glare at the man leaning over his backside. “Answer…” His priorities were twisting, becoming indecipherable…forgetting…**

**“It brings the average sinner to the greatest heights,” he replied, taking a pocket knife and slashing open the back of Leeteuk’s shirt. The material fluttered down and Doo-Joon knotted the fabric around the blonde’s elbows effectively binding him. “For an angel…well, you must be feeling immeasurable human pleasure, hmm?” He blew cool air across Leeteuk’s ear, causing the latter to shudder and stifle the approving noises willing to rise.**

**“I…I t-thought I wasn’t allowed to be loved,” Leeteuk breathed, smirking with quivering lips. The bite in his eyes had yet to dissipate but surely it would in a matter of minutes.**

**Doo-Joon tilted Angel’s head back, locking eyes with him. “This isn’t love. As I was saying earlier, I realized something. DaeHyun has been so smart to obtain power by taking you, making you his. I’ve simply been too lenient, _weak._ Surely I should’ve known the benefits of not only washing away human sin through you, but the act of marking you as mine.” He chuckled, fingertips dancing along the line of Leeteuk’s jaw. The blonde swallowed hard, licking his lips, chest heaving as he continued gazing into those hateful black eyes. Doo-Joon fondled the captured boy’s scarred chest, speaking softly, “How much more do you think I could accomplish having you as mine alone? Yes, devouring human sin is your duty, but why can I not choose whose sin you devour? Doesn’t it make sense for me to hold all the power? Who else but the one who found you…?”**

**And then his lips were crashing down on Leeteuk’s. He easily took control of the boy’s tongue, exploring the insides of the angel’s mouth without restraint. Chills rolled up Leeteuk’s spin, his body melting under those disgusting, tainted hands. Everything was wrong. His mind understood that, advocated it. However his body didn’t seem to understand. It continued to react and want. The way that mouth moved against his, taking dominance at his leisure, was absolutely, horrifyingly wonderful to Leeteuk’s drugged form.**

**“You’re being too weak, Angel.” Doo-Joon whispered against his lips, tip of tongue running over the swollen parting, “Are the effects too strong?”**

**“Mm-hmm,” Leeteuk whimpered, urging the other to kiss him again, “make it go away…” Tears fell from his eyes then, not from want or need. Those were the only real indication of his feelings, truth. Every bit of pride he held close to heart was crushed after those words left his lips. He was begging to be touched – fucked, really – by the man who left all the scars on his body, that turned him into a martyr for lost souls, that manipulated his dearest friend…and yet all he wanted in that moment was such a person to take him hard and fast – to make the sensitive shudders subside so he could think straight again.**

**Doo-Joon pressed lips to the tears. “You’re accepting my sin, Angel?” he cooed, fingers sliding down to undo Leeteuk’s pants. “You truly are heaven sent to so readily accept your own corruption…all for me.”**

**“Faster…,” he panted, moving against the hand that just then dipped into his pants. A low moan escaped him and Leeteuk fell forward on his forcibly bent elbows, head lowered. “P-Please…”**

**“A desperate Angel isn’t as good as a crying one,” Doo-Joon remarked, turning Leeteuk onto his back and dragging the boy’s pants lower, “but he’s wonderful nonetheless.” And then the dark haired boy was doing indescribably lustful things to the blonde’s heated body part.**

**A cry of pure sexual frustration erupted from him, hips lifting off the ground to meet the wet cavern moving around him. Leeteuk writhed under the ministrations, unsure where to rest his awkwardly locked arms. “D-Don’t stop,” he gasped, tears spilling harder down his face now. _Please stop!_ “Faster, please…!” _Stop it now! Please stop it!_ Leeteuk groaned as he climaxed; partially from satisfaction, but mainly from aggravation. “I need more,” he whined, attempting to sit up. The throbbing in his brain was unbearable, creating animalistic war with his primal senses. Nothing was clear even the person a centimeter before him was a blur. There was no way to end the agony burning his body. It was winning, making a mockery of the desperate pleas his brain released.**

**Leeteuk straddled Doo-Joon’s lap, dropping his still bound arms around the latter’s neck. Dropping a wet, sloppy kiss to those talented lips, Leeteuk grinded himself into the other’s tightening pants, reveling in the bliss of future contact. “Take them off…,” he panted, nibbling at Doo-Joon’s ear and jaw, “I want it…” _Shut the fuck up. Just shut up. You’re not in your right mind…you can fight this…_ Leeteuk swallowed hard, nuzzling his conflicted head into that sadist’s neck. It was more of a shaking in his mind’s eye, yet it had taken a far less lethal image in reality. _Don’t you know what he’s done to you?!? STOP HIM NOW!_ “I…I can’t,” he whispered to himself, leaning heavily on the dark haired boy. A sob slipped from lips, eyes shutting tightly.**

**“I have a surprise for you later,” Doo-Joon stated as he slid his hands off the boy’s hips to unzip his pants and pull them down, exposing him.**

**Leeteuk nodded vaguely, pushing himself down on the erection – tears now fully streaming down his face. The salty liquid dripped onto the black haired boy’s collar; who only seemed to be paying attention to the “angel” joining him. “Hah…mm…,” Leeteuk started moving, shaky arms pressing down on the other’s well built chest, “Could you help me?” he whispered painfully, eyes a mix of lust and regret. The person before him didn’t care, most likely didn’t even notice in the shadowed room. But Leeteuk knew. He could feel the self-loathing pouring out of him. It wasn’t betrayal – far from it. It was pathetic weakness.**

**“Anything for my Angel,” Doo-Joon chuckled, moving in time with the blonde’s thrusts. He brought those swollen red lips back down to his, kissing them hotly as fingers combed through long locks. A delicious moan sent vibrations through Doo-Joon’s mouth and he deepened the kiss further. His free hand strolled down to stroke the boy’s ass and thigh idly as they continued moving in and out of one another.**

**Leeteuk’s breathing grew more irregular and suddenly he was stiffening, “I—”**

**Doo-Joon nodded and gently stroked the blonde to completion. Once the latter was done and calmed, Doo-Joon laid him back down, thrusting hard and deep into the worn boy. Leeteuk cried out in alarm, squirming from the increased sensitivity. He covered his face slightly, shoulders trembling. But then a strong hand was jerking them down and black eyes were watching his tear streaked face with fascination. “I want to see your face when I release in you,” Doo-Joon mumbled, absently fondling Leeteuk’s body as if it were his to do with.**

**Abruptly, burning heat filled the blonde and he arched up, shoulders rolling back as a pleasured scream burst from him. Leeteuk drifted down from his high after a few moments, eyes heavily lidded. “Mmm…,” he muttered, bound arms hanging overhead.**

**Doo-Joon’s pocket knife was back out but this time he was pressing the razor blade to Leeteuk’s pelvis, cutting into the flesh. “This one will be forever,” he stated softly, making slow, comforting circles with his thumb in the opposing hip. Leeteuk turned his head away, biting lip at the pain. His body was too weak to fight back and quite frankly, he had succumbed to the shock of what that drug did to him. Chaos…turmoil…he was a mess. Disgusting. Leeteuk hiccupped and whimpered, strength depleted to no end.**

**“Never forget,” Doo-Joon said at last, finishing the mark and leaning back to admire the vulnerable, horrified angel, “you’re mine now.” He leaned over the blonde, carefully caressing the side of his face and kissing his lips.**

**Leeteuk watched him stand, fix his clothes and walk out of the dark room. The door closed behind him, leaving Leeteuk a bleeding pile. Silently, the tears fell until there was simply no more left to shed. That was when he closed his eyes, turned his body and fainted from exhaustion.**


	19. Chapter 19

 

 

Leeteuk splashed water on his face, looking at the dripping reflection. Dark circles streaked the bottoms of his puffy, red eyes. All the skin seemed taut, tense. He slapped both pale cheeks, forcing color into them. Sighing, the boy slipped glasses on and left the community bathroom.

It had been a few days since the failed Halloween Rave. Everyone was talking about it – obsessed with it really. Leeteuk hoped the gossip would end soon but it didn’t seem like it would. To make matters worse – he cast his eyes down to the tie he fixed around neck – Kangin refused to talk to him. Leeteuk wasn’t really sure why, but the other boy was avoiding him rather obviously.

Each time he entered their room, Kangin was already “asleep” and sure, Leeteuk would’ve believed that, but…well, could you blame a guy for knowing his roommate’s breathing patterns? Maybe that’s a bit creepy, but it calmed him in the late hours. It helped Leeteuk fall asleep knowing that there was a living, healthy person nearby…and it didn’t hurt that Kangin was simply perfect in the department of protection.

As expected, when Leeteuk opened the door to their room, Kangin was still sleeping, back turned to him. The slight freshman gazed at his roommate for a moment, sadness gnawing at his chest. He took a sticky note off the desk, pressing a pen to the clean white paper. After finishing the note, he stuck it to Kangin’s table. Quietly, Leeteuk pulled his book bag over one shoulder, slipped on shoes, and left the room. He checked the time: 5:57 A.M.

There was a board meeting at 6:30; it couldn’t hurt to be early.

 

Kangin opened his eyes, slid out of bed and trudged across the floor. It was like that every morning. He knew that Leeteuk was awake because quite honestly, Kangin wasn’t a very heavy sleeper. It had also come to his attention that the other boy was waking earlier and earlier. Yesterday: 5:20, Today: 5:00. Leeteuk probably started picking up on the “cold shoulder” treatment. Kangin couldn’t exactly say he was being coy about it. Hell, how did you be coy about something so…blatant?

Then again, how did Leeteuk transform like that?

He used the restroom, brushed his teeth and washed his face before coming back into the room. The time on his phone display: 6:10 A.M. That meant Kangin had a good hour or so to spare. He was contemplating whether or not to sleep some more when his eyes caught sight of the sticky note on his desk.

Walking over to it, Kangin plucked the paper up, reading the elegant, curvy words.

 

_Kangin~_

_There’s a General Assembly today_

_At 7:00._

_Please don’t go back to sleep_

_Or else you’ll miss it!_

_-Leeteuk-_

 

He crumpled the piece of paper, chucking it into the trash. Deliberately, Kangin flopped down on his mussed bed sheets, eyes shutting. Like hell he was going to take orders from a two-faced sadist. Kangin didn’t want to have anything to do with that fake.

You couldn’t be both innocent and deadly. There was no such thing. Anyone who tried to pass as both was playing a dangerous game. Kangin didn’t care for any of it. That bullshit nonsense had to stop. No. He wasn’t a goodie-two-shoes or anything.

This was a matter of pride.

He couldn’t stand being played like that. Just seeing Leeteuk pissed him off. What “Angel”? That was pure shit. Kangin punched his pillow before chucking it to the ground. Why did that boy have to be his roommate? Why couldn’t Kangin have been blessed with a decent person? He had no desire to befriend, let alone love, a possible murderer, a torturer. No one in their right mind would want to get near that kind of person, Kangin most certainly included.

That’s why Leeteuk had to lie about everything. He knew that everyone would shun him for being such a sick being. Kangin couldn’t blame him for trying to be the model student if for only that reason. However, it still didn’t justify the whole situation. Just because he would be outcaste he recreated himself?

Kangin didn’t see that as respectable. It was a coward’s move. Changing yourself for the sake of others was pathetic. How could someone simply throw away the person they were for someone more socially acceptable? Those sorts of people needed a reality check. It came down to a basic question really.

Which do you prefer?

Die as the person who everyone loved.

Die as the person who accepted himself.

The boy groaned into his pillow, squeezing his eyes and clenching fists. He needed to get some fucking sleep. This was ridiculous.

 

The air was chilled with the first week of November. All of the students swallowed their complaints, shivering in their winter uniforms and mufflers – for those who had them. They glared at the teachers standing on the platform, urging them to get on with the announcements already so they could get inside for class or breakfast.

“I am sorry to inform all of you that our student teacher, Mr. Choi Seunghyun has been severely injured and will not be returning to us any time soon, if at all,” the Headmaster explained at the General Assembly. His face was grave, eyes heavily wrinkled and darkened by late hours of work. The man was already well-aged and rather stout. “Details cannot be obtained as the entire situation was quietly taken care of. No officials are willing to offer information on the injuries sustained, however it is safe to say that he will not be returning as our homeroom teacher.”

Leeteuk stood off to the side with Yunho and the rest of the Freshmen Board. The Junior Board was also nearby, rubbing their hands together in an attempt to warm up in the freezing weather. As for StudGov, they were waiting for their chance to speak – well, the President was waiting.

“How’re you feeling?” Leeteuk asked Yunho softly, noting the heavy make-up used to cover up all of the facial bruising and neck bruising.

Yunho shook his head, exhausted. “On a lot of painkillers right now. I can’t really understand what’s going on…there’s a really loud buzzing…” He staggered a bit but Leeteuk managed to pass it off as Yunho saving Leeteuk from falling down. It was rather simple to convince people of the more “real” situation. You see, none of their peers wanted to hear that their straight-laced council member Yunho was an ex-gangster who got jacked up by an old enemy and was thus forced to take high dosages of medication which made him unsteady.

Rather, something more reasonable, more _real_ would be preferred.

“Do you want me to take you back to your room?” Leeteuk asked softly, leaning close to Yunho’s ear as the noise outside was very limited.

“Yeah, actually,” Yunho grunted, wincing and putting more weight on Leeteuk.

Carefully, the latter wrapped Yunho’s arm around his shoulders, helping the pale boy towards the 1st Year Dorms. A few heads turned to see where they were headed but none followed after Leeteuk gave them a sheepish, apologetic look. So long as Leeteuk was handling things there was nothing to worry about.

He was the most reliable, mentally sturdy freshman – hands down.

 

 


	20. Chapter 20

 

 

It was getting worse. Leeteuk knew it too. He swallowed a mouthful of vitamins and nutritional supplements. His scars ached as more memories surfaced, the pain creating a trail that had finally led to the mark upon his pelvis. At times Leeteuk would find himself pressing down on the scar, exerting a whole different force to battle the hurt of remembering – reliving.

There was no way to escape. Yunho was right. TOP was right. All of them were. But Leeteuk didn’t want to accept that. He had fought so hard to reach the place he was then. It took hours upon hours of careful planning, studying, and realization. He hadn’t simply chosen to create a new person.

This was him as well. This was what Leeteuk would’ve been like had he not joined the violence.

Or at least, that’s what he told himself. Surely there was nothing wrong with being the best he could possibly be right? And it wasn’t such a horrible lie, betrayal, whatever you want to call it. There are more sides than one to a person. Did Leeteuk ever drop the persona he had developed for school? No. It was him. It was the way he should’ve been. What’s wrong with embracing that?

None of those thoughts even would’ve crossed his mind had it not been for the never ending cold shoulder Kangin gave him. Leeteuk had contemplated for days on end. And still, he could not quite pin what was bothering his roommate so much. What exactly did he know? Leeteuk had a hunch that perhaps Kangin found out the truth and therefore distanced himself, but how could he have possibly found out?

If Kangin had been around to see the TOP fiasco, wouldn’t he have intervened? That’s what a person normally does, that is, if they come from a…oh, never mind. But still…there was very little chance he stumbled upon that fight.

The door opened and Leeteuk spun around, lips parted in greeting. However, the words never reached his roommate. Kangin kicked the door shut, hands busy texting and ears busy listening to music. Leeteuk’s face fell and he quickly turned away, embarrassed by the happiness that had swelled in his chest. It wasn’t fair, was it? Leeteuk bit his bottom lip, abruptly standing and rushing out of the room with his toiletries. The door slammed shut.

Kangin removed his ear buds, gazing at the closed door. No music played and the screen on his phone was unlit. “Was I too hard on him?” he muttered to himself. But just as quickly as the thought occurred was it disappearing. Kangin shrugged and laid down on his bed. What did he care? The guy could do whatever he wanted.

 

Kangin heard the terrified gasp and the shuffling of bed sheets. His eyes cracked open, catching the sight of his slender, shaking roommate. All at once, worry washed over Kangin and his first reaction was to help the boy, but then he stopped himself. There was nothing to worry about. The boy could take care of himself by what Kangin witnessed.

Surely it was nothing.

Yet, he couldn’t keep himself from watching the boy – from studying the horror engraved in his wretched figure. Leeteuk had one hand tightly clenching the material covering his heart. Sweat made his skin shine under moonlight, capturing the devastatingly pale hue. Both eyes were wide, unblinking as they gazed at a distant image in the recesses of his troubled mind. Those gentle lips quivered as if on the brink of sobs. Kangin could see it all – and perhaps in an earlier time he would’ve felt compelled to help the suffering boy. But the sight only worked to aggravate him, effectively cause rage to boil in his stomach.

What was he doing keeping the good-boy act up in the middle of the night? Leeteuk had proven himself to be no vulnerable child. This beautiful youth was nothing more than a wolf in sheep’s clothes. Anyone who could mercilessly hurt another like that wasn’t worth a second glance. Kangin had had his fair share of trouble, but it was nothing like what Leeteuk had done. Compared to that ruthless torture…Kangin was just another toddler playing in a sandbox.

Truly, could he be blamed for feeling anger? Someone who he had grown feelings for had been lying the whole time. How much of Leeteuk’s personality was real? For what reason could he have chosen to become the opposite of a hateful gangster? Had he simply run out of thrills and decided to play with everyone in the academy?

Kangin couldn’t accept it.

There was a limit to how far you should go and Leeteuk had reached far beyond that limit.

“A dream…,” the slender child breathed, pain dripping from the short phrase.

It sent chills down Kangin’s spine the way he could sound so convincing. Perhaps Leeteuk had convinced even himself to see only the Good-Boy.

Kangin meant to turn away, disapproving of the pitiful act. But then his ears caught the soft pitter patter of tears. His eyes trailed back to peer at the other and suddenly, guilt crashed down on him. Without further hesitation, Kangin sat up in bed, sliding over the edge and walking the small distance separating them.

Leeteuk’s head shot up, eyes widening. He attempted to wipe away the tears but they were falling too quickly and profusely. All of those kind features crumpled in silent agony, entire face streaked with searing salty tears. “I’m sorry…,” he whispered as Kangin sat down beside him, pulling him into a single armed embrace. Leeteuk grasped the taller boy’s shirt with a trembling, weak hand. His eyes squeezed shut and sobs broke the air. “Please forgive me…I didn’t mean t-to wake you up…I’m sorry….”

For a brief moment Kangin thought the boy was paying attention to the wrong thing, but then he slowly started realizing something. Perhaps Leeteuk wasn’t keeping anything a secret in that moment. This was his true character at its weakest. Kangin said nothing to the apologies, instead he leaned his head against the top of Leeteuk’s, gently brushing his lips over the boy’s dark, sweetly scented locks.

“P-Please don’t…,” he stuttered in a cracked voice. At first Kangin thought he was doing something wrong and stiffened a bit. But then Leeteuk’s body was growing heavier, the grip he had on Kangin’s shirt loosening completely. The soft, broken voice spoke again, “I’ve had enough…d-don’t anymore…I’m gonna die…I’ll die…”

Kangin lowered his head, gazing at Leeteuk’s drowsy, crying face. The latter still shed unstoppable tears even as his eyelids fell and he lost consciousness. That slight body pressed dependently on Kangin, nowhere near the vengeful lithe form that attacked Choi Seunghyun. Leeteuk muttered incoherently, brow furrowed in pain. The broader boy gently brushed his fingertips over the wrinkle disturbing the other’s face. Slowly, it subsided and Leeteuk’s breathing grew more rhythmic.

Carefully, Kangin laid him back down and pulled the blanket over the other’s small body. He headed towards his own bed but stopped at a tug on the hem of his shirt. Kangin turned slightly back, seeing Leeteuk’s bleary eyes gazing longingly up at him. Sighing, he released Leeteuk’s hand and lay down beside the trembling boy.

“Don’t let him hurt me…,” Leeteuk whispered into Kangin’s warm chest. He snuggled closer to the protective form, relaxing in Kangin’s embrace. “I…I don’t want to be…” he trailed off, succumbing to the atmosphere the other created.

“Who’s hurting you…?” Kangin mumbled to himself, tightening his hold on the boy.

“You kept…your word…,” Leeteuk muttered in his sleep, slightly curled hands pressing against Kangin’s body. _DaeHyun…hyung…_

 

 


	21. Chapter 21

 

 

Yunho eyed his friend warily. It was never a good sign when Leeteuk was chugging coffee. That meant either he ran out of nutritional supplements or something had gone awry. The boy rarely turned to foul tasting drinks when he needed energy. Caffeine was Leeteuk’s worst enemy – sort of – yet he was draining mug after mug without restraint.

And so, the board member Yunho forcefully took the freshly filled coffee cup from his friend, placing it on the table. “What’s wrong, Teukie?” he inquired, crossing his arms.

Leeteuk shook his head, rubbing forehead tiredly. “I think I did something truly regrettable last night…” He leaned against the large table in their meeting room, “It wasn’t meant to happen. Plus, I assumed he would just ignore me but he didn’t…I was at a loss for what to do, Yunho.”

“What happened?” his brow furrowed, body leaning towards Leeteuk in puzzlement. What could possibly be eating away as his friend so viciously? The weight loss and pallid complexion were normal those days – understandably – but the look of confusion was new.

“I…I broke down,” Leeteuk whispered, not daring to meet Yunho’s eyes, “and Kangin was there to help me.”

Yunho had been expecting a number of things – among them nightmarish visions of Doo-Joon and other horribly precise details concerning the psychopath. However, what Leeteuk actually said hadn’t crossed his mind in the least. “You…,” he cleared his throat, beginning anew, “You broke down in front of your roommate, Kangin?”

“It was a mistake,” Leeteuk sighed, biting down on his bottom lip, “honestly, I hadn’t expected him to offer any comfort. But when he did, I couldn’t stop myself. I…,” he shook his head. “Anyway, I’m not sure what to do. I’ve brought Kangin closer than I ever meant to.”

Perhaps then would’ve been a good time to confess that Kangin had witnessed Leeteuk’s brutality. Many people could be saved heartache and distress. But to say that Yunho was brave enough to admit it without preparation was a great lie. He was scared – scared as _hell_ – to tell Leeteuk that he had seen Kangin watching and failed to stop him from seeing the darkest side of the angelic boy. There were some things in life you tried to avoid at all costs. Enraging Leeteuk was one of those.

“Well, what are you going to do now?” Yunho prompted, keeping his voice somewhat steady.

“He would never accept me,” Leeteuk said softly, chewing his lower lip more viciously now, “no one would. I don’t blame them though.”

That was a rather strange remark. Yunho paused before answering. Why did those words leave Leeteuk’s mouth? What did acceptance have to do with anything? Shouldn’t the options have been about how to get rid of Kangin? How to push him far away to protect the ‘mission’? Why wasn’t Leeteuk thinking about that? For what reason would he be worrying about such a trivial thing? “…Leeteuk…are you forgetting?” Yunho asked quietly, though his voice sounded thousands of times louder in the silent space.

The angel stiffened the slightest bit but then he was slicing Yunho with a look. “No. I dream about it every night. I’m wasting away because of it. Can’t you see?” His voice was calm, even cool, yet there was still venom.

“That’s not what I mean,” Yunho murmured, sighing, “But that’s a good transition. He’s coming. What are we going to do?”

Leeteuk closed his eyes briefly, thinking. Well, he had been thinking constantly about this. The momentary thought pose was just for effect. “He won’t show up right away and he can’t get into the academy. For now we can relax.”

“You’re being a hypocrite,” the other stated, brushing the back of his hand over Leeteuk’s thinning face, “you haven’t relaxed at all. What were you planning on doing? Decay until he couldn’t get to you because you’d already be dead?”

He cast his eyes, moving away from the touch. “Sorry…I’ll be alright. I’m sure.”

“Those nightmares aren’t going away…”

Leeteuk could say nothing. He simply allowed silence to consume them and his mind wandered to the unspoken. There was a time where the nightmares couldn’t get to him. But that place was unreachable now. It was a once in a lifetime opportunity and as such, there surely wouldn’t be a repeating offender.

 

Kangin hadn’t heard Leeteuk wake up. He hadn’t heard the slender figure slip away from him. He hadn’t heard anything or felt anything. The warmth still enveloped him, Leeteuk having replaced his body with a rather heated pillow. The window had been covered by a drapery to make it appear still dark and keep more of the autumn air out. Somehow, the door and rummaging of supplies had also been ignored.

Honestly, Kangin wanted to wake up with the beautiful boy lying beside him, looking small and protected and wonderful in his arms. But…he wasn’t.

Because that angel was terrifyingly strong and cruel…but…he wasn’t.

Because he was a weak and fragile and shaken…but…he wasn’t.

Because Leeteuk was kind and gentle…but…he wasn’t.

This cycle of thought had taken control of Kangin’s mind and refused to let go. It was a terribly ugly circle that just ended with the boy angrier, more confused and a number of other bitter emotions.

How could all of them be the same person? Where did one personality start and the other end? More importantly, what could drive someone to do all of that? Why would Leeteuk find it necessary to show so many faces? Kangin couldn’t understand. Maybe he was just too stupid. But then again, maybe it really was a good question.

Another cycle existed as well though. It was about the reaction to each “Leeteuk.” To Kangin, there was nothing particularly good about the cruel one. He wasn’t amazing or anything. He was just a thug that wanted to show how much power he held. The weak one made Kangin’s heart break. If it hadn’t been for the weak one, surely he would’ve never slept the whole night away with Leeteuk. As for the first one Kangin ever met, the gentle one, well, that was his favorite. He had grown up with so many people who wanted to show off their strength. He had also grown up with so many people that were troubled and cried themselves to sleep. Leeteuk had managed to be both of those things.

But then there was the Gentle One, the perfect, sweet version of Leeteuk that the entire academy fawned over. Perhaps that was the reason Kangin was so upset. If only Leeteuk hadn’t shown that side of him, hadn’t – most likely – fabricated that side of him. It crushed Kangin’s dreams…dreams of falling in love with someone normal.

Because, fuck it, he had already fallen in too deep.

 

 

 


	22. Switch

 

 

He had grown to innumerable heights. The entire god forsaken city was his playhouse. Not a soul dared to defy him. All safe houses, foster homes, agencies, officials were subdued, destroyed, or simply…lost. It had begun with the dispersal, the true genius, of DaeHyun’s group. They were the last obstacle in his conquest.

So, now you ask who would care to own the land of vile creatures and there is a rather intriguing answer. You see, that question could be posed to any villain, anyone who has the heart to spill blood and destroy a life – though many times it is several lives. The reason dears, is because he _can._ He physically and mentally can have this wretched city in the palm of his hand. It’s the feeling of control, the burning lust to hold power over hundreds of lives. Better yet, to hold power over the lives of unwanted people.

They were just so _weak,_ so easy to manipulate. No one cared for any of them, wouldn’t care if they were burned alive or tortured for months, years… This is not an exaggeration, at least, for Doo-Joon. He had been the inflictor more often than not. Did he create a bonfire of breathing thugs? Perhaps. Had he tortured poor, lost souls many times over? What a fucking stupid question. Of course he had.

Unfortunately, his favorite toy had run off. It truly hurt him. After all, there was very little difference between an innocent child and mad genius in that, neither knew how to share. Possession…obsession…it came with the job description.

Doo-Joon had long debated in his dark hours as he held the Angel beneath him, ravaged that beautifully scarred body…just what was he to do? If he were to allow that annoying obstacle to live then there would always be something connecting him – allowing him – to touch the Angel, to nab that beautiful creature. Yet, if he were to kill that obstacle, then nothing would stop him from driving the entire city to hell.

But then that fateful day came. DaeHyun awoke after three months and immediately came to find his precious Angel. Doo-Joon never did learn of their true relationship, though he had long since assumed lovers were a good label – if not a bit exaggerated. When the frail leader appeared Doo-Joon figured that he could make his decision right then and there whether or not to kill him.

Beside him, the blonde Angel cried out for DaeHyun, all the while bleeding and being held up by sheer force of will. Doo-Joon had expected irritation to pass through him at the affection, but truly, it did not. In fact, he found it somewhat endearing to see the kind side of the pitiful Guardian. So often had he seen Angel crying in pain and utterly subdued, it was refreshing to see another side of him. Therefore, Doo-Joon decided to keep DaeHyun alive for a while longer.

“Angel,” Doo-Joon had cooed, helping the ragged blonde to a steady standing position, “you may go to him…” He had meant nothing more than to reward the Angel for he listened obediently for many months. It would not be a permanent return; it was only a temporary release as Doo-Joon felt particularly charitable that evening.

As expected, Angel staggered forward, almost reaching DaeHyun’s arms.

But then the shot was fired.

It whizzed past the blonde’s face, burrowing its heated metal shape into the freshly awoken boy’s chest. Everyone froze; even Doo-Joon was surprised. He hadn’t ordered anyone to fire. Yet there was his obstacle, collapsed in the Angel’s arms, dead.

Slowly, the culprit stepped forward and crouched before the crying Angel and dying DaeHyun. “I always knew you were an angel…,” he said calmly, black pupils intently gazing at the victim’s friend, “if you weren’t then why would you be crying with them?”

Doo-Joon wasn’t sure whether or not he was happy with the turn of events. It did, however, leave him with nothing to worry about. His decision had been made for him by Nichkhun, that adorable little puppet. “You’re from the heavens,” Nichkhun told Angel, “come down to mourn this unloved child, right? He had no one…no one but you who must love everyone.”

The angel continued to shed tears of sorrow, face a twisted mess of pain. _Beautiful…_ He had never seen quite that much anguish on his face. There was something mesmerizing about it…about the way his emotions were so deeply etched on his exhausted, rain drenched features. Doo-Joon stayed silent though, still sure of his decision to allow the angel time to continue absorbing that suffering.

“Why did you do it…?” the angel croaked, lifting his hand away from the bloodied body. “Why did you kill him…?”

Nichkhun ran his chilled fingers through the angel’s wet locks as he answered, “You are the servant of heaven, shouldn’t you know already? This has been mandated. They don’t want hell’s sinner living among us anymore. They don’t want someone with no purity left to pollute a world like ours…but don’t cry anymore, Angel,” he cooed, softly kissing Angel’s cheek, “You’ve shown enough love to the sinner. He doesn’t deserve anymore of your pity or warmth. Look at the pure ones, the ones that are still alive and near. Guard us as you are supposed to…don’t cast your eyes on people who can no longer be saved.” He murmured something else to the Angel as he curled fingers in those wet locks, but Doo-Joon couldn’t hear nor did he care very much to hear.

It was enough to know that Nichkhun understood his teachings so well. And now the child was no longer just an innocent bystander, a toy to play with. He would be a driving force in the days to come. Many would surely be punished by his hand. Doo-Joon smirked, arms crossed loosely over torso. He had achieved more than expected.

The angel sobbed harder, pulling the deceased close to his chest. Suddenly, those sad eyes caught his own. The angel strained his body forward with the words, “YOU’RE THE ONE WHO DID THIS! YOU FUCKING BASTARD YOU KILLED HIM—!”

Doo-Joon enveloped his lovely Nichkhun in arms. There had been a time where he could not be reached but now…now he stayed no more than an arm’s length away from him. It was how things should’ve always been. Doo-Joon pointed at the angel, eyes following the indication. His voice carried across the seemingly vast space, saying, “Don’t blame Angel. He’s become far too attached to the ugly creatures, Nichkhun. We need to convince him though. We need to open his eyes to the reality…to bring him closer to an unpolluted world.”

Nichkhun nodded slowly, opening his eyes to the truth even more. “Don’t worry, Angel,” he called, a horrifically twisted smile curving his lips but daring not to touch his eyes, “I’ll help you…so just wait for me okay? You won’t have to stay in their sin for much longer…we’ll be around to save you soon...”

And those words would ring true.

One night, several months after the death and cremation of DaeHyun, the leader of the rebellion, Doo-Joon was visited by a small group of followers. They appeared somewhat out of breath but truly thrilled to be in his presence – as all of them do.

He asked, “Why are you here?” Nichkhun rested in his lap, now eyeing the group of boys too.

The leader looked up, grinning, “Doo-Joon hyung, we found Angel.”

 

 


	23. Chapter 23

 

 

Eunhyuk swirled a strawberry lollipop in his mouth, trying to distract himself from the chilly breeze. It was already nearing the end of November and snow was daring to fall. Honestly, the damn white flakes should just descend already. Everyone had been eyeing the sky the past few days, impatiently expectant.

“It’s not gonna fall if you keep watching,” Kangin scoffed as they drifted through the forest, not really having a destination in mind. The taller boy just wanted some company as he thought about everything. Pondering all alone had started to piss him off so what better to do than drag someone down with him?

The lanky boy frowned, looking down at the crunching, dead grass. “…Are you serious…about the Teukie thing I mean.” Eunhyuk rushed on before Kangin could snap at him, “Like, isn’t it sort of _crazy?_ Teukie is like the straightest kid ever. I can’t imagine him torturing someone like that…”

Kangin sighed, burrowing his face deeper in the high collar of his jacket. “I know what I saw. Why would I talk about it if I wasn’t a hundred percent sure? You think I could even _imagine_ Leeteuk doing something like snapping someone’s fingers?”

“Well no…that’s true,” the monkey face mumbled, cracking off some of the lollipop and chewing. “I…I still don’t know…why would he do it?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to figure out,” the broader boy growled, ruffling his black hair and squeezing eyes shut. The cold air was refreshing – soothing even – as he tried to calm the painful whirring of his mind. There was also something rather wonderful about the late autumn smells, as if there was a maple tree around every bend when really there wasn’t. Or maybe it was the Autumn Festival going on back at school that made him smell that. Yeah, that had to be the reason. Kangin opened his eyes slightly, mouth opening to explain more about the situation, however, the front of his shoe was suddenly catching on a cold metal object and the poor boy was sent flying forward.

He slammed face first into the hard dirt, groaning in pain. Eunhyuk stared, jaw slackening. “What the fuck?” he muttered, examining the odd way Kangin’s foot was bent. He winced a bit as he imagined what that must feel like and then quickly hurried to help the boy up. “Hey, Kangin, are you alright?”

“ _No_ ,” Kangin grunted, “Help free my foot, you dumbass.”

Eunhyuk blinked, nodding and rushing back to gingerly pull Kangin’s leg out from the weird metal thing sticking out of the ground. “Oh shit…,” he muttered, looking at the already swelling ankle. There were broken blood vessels all along the skin, forming around purple bruises.

“What did I hit?” the other asked, gritting teeth in suppressed pain.

“Uh,” Eunhyuk carefully moved Kangin’s leg to inspect the strange object. It looked like…a handle. His eyes narrowed in confusion as he crouched down to get a better look. Yes, that was most definitely a handle; though it was incredibly rusted. In fact, it seemed as if Kangin’s weight had wrenched it nearly off. Eunhyuk pushed the metal over and the entire thick snapped, clattering onto…wait, why was it making a noise? Weren’t they on grass? “H-Hey…Kangin, move over a little.”

“I see you’re not very sympathetic to the wounded,” Kangin barked, shifting sideways nonetheless. He watched his friend creep over a patch of land, running those pale, thin fingers around the edge of…something. “What are you doing?” Kangin asked after a while, crawling over to follow Eunhyuk’s movements better.

“I think…this is a door,” he muttered, focusing on some sort of lining. Abruptly, Eunhyuk caught a broken corner and his eyes lit up like a child on Christmas. He positioned his legs, dug a few more fingers under the indent and heaved.

Needless to say, he was pretty weak and didn’t manage to do much more than crack his back. Kangin rolled his eyes, leaning over and shooing Eunhyuk’s scrawny little hands away. “Go work out,” the broader, injured one remarked, pushing the trap door up about an inch – enough for Eunhyuk to get a good hold.

“Thanks,” the weaker boy said sheepishly as he drove the ancient door back. It groaned in agony, dirt and grass falling away from it. The door fell back completely, its formerly strong control chains crumbling under the unchanged weight. With a loud thud, the metal panel crashed into the grass.

Eunhyuk pulled a flashlight from his pocket, flicking it on and aiming it into the dark, underground space. There was a set of stairs leading down, though you couldn’t really see far. “What is this?” he inquired softly, trying to get an idea of just how deep and large the underground space was.

“Hey, help me up,” Kangin stated, eager to see what they had discovered – better yet, what had fucking tripped him up.

Eunhyuk nodded slightly, dragging the muscular boy over a few inches to his side. “Look at that. I swear it goes on forever. Do you think it’s an escape tunnel?” He sounded excited at the prospect, voice taking on a jittery tone.

“You think some non-reformers tried to dig their way out?” Kangin laughed, taking the flashlight from Eunhyuk and idly examining it. Without warning, he chucked it down the stairs, light beams bouncing off the dark space.

“That was mine!” Eunhyuk exclaimed, staring after the small object.

“You’ll get it back don’t worry,” Kangin snorted, eyes intently following the object. He wanted to get a better idea of where the place led to. Surprisingly, it wasn’t very deep. The flashlight’s strength was relatively strong still and illuminating the wide area. “It’s pretty far…”

“How am I getting my flashlight back?”

Kangin grabbed Eunhyuk’s shoulder, willing the latter to help him up, “After my leg heals, we’ll come back. That’ll be in like…two weeks right?”

“Maybe less if you didn’t break anything,” Eunhyuk remarked before shooting his lost light one more glance, “Man…the battery is gonna be dead by then.”

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

 

 

Leeteuk’s eyes were wide, mouth dangling open. He looked at Eunhyuk questioningly. The latter shrugged helplessly, saying, “Sorry Teukie…he tripped over this random thing and totally killed his ankle. Oh and it was cold out so I guess his bones are sort of brittle.”

“I’m not an old man, you jack-off,” Kangin snapped, crossing his arms in annoyance, “Besides, the doctor said my bones are so big and sturdy that it only bruised the outer layer. I’ll be up and walking around in less than a week.”

Sighing softly, Leeteuk turned to Eunhyuk, gently telling him to leave the room. Half running, the gangly boy rushed out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Leeteuk shifted positions, peering at the heavily bandaged ankle propped up on pillows.

When he had come back from Autumn Festival duties, he hadn’t been expecting to find Kangin bedridden with a swollen ankle. His heart had nearly stopped at the sight. It wasn’t everyday something like that happened…sort of. Well, fights broke out often, but Kangin rarely took part – actually, _never_ took part so far in his career at the academy.

“Do you need anything?” Leeteuk questioned softly, tentatively looking at his roommate. They hadn’t properly spoken in over two and a half weeks. This was…odd to say the least. To say the worst, it was excruciatingly awkward, as if Leeteuk was forcing the other to converse now that neither had an excuse to ignore one another.

Kangin was about to say no, but then he realized his phone, conveniently, was on the table. Damn that stupid monkey. He sighed under his breath and pointed at the cell phone. “Could you get that for me?”

“O-Oh, sure,” Leeteuk replied, hurrying to grab the device and hand it to Kangin. His hand slightly brushed the other’s, sending his ridiculous heart jumping. What was wrong with him? Leeteuk internally hit himself, not understanding why he felt so…giddy when their hands had simply touched. “Do you want dinner?” he asked, trying to keep the conversation going. It was a rule of thumb, never let silence settle when both parties are high strung. That leaves for an incredibly awkward situation, one that is especially difficult to get out of.

Kangin shook his head, looking down at his phone, not really doing anything with it, except checking to see if he had any text messages or notifications. “I’m fine. Are you going to eat?” he asked, not really sure why he urged the conversation forward.

“A-Actually no,” Leeteuk smiled, hiding his uneasiness well, aside from the stutter, “I haven’t been keeping my food down lately, so I think I’m just going to study.”

“…Ah, well don’t study too much,” Kangin replied slowly, not meeting the boy’s eyes, “you’ll feel worse that way.”

Leeteuk felt a small seed of warmth in his chest and tried to hide the emotions prominently surfacing. “Thank you Kangin…” He cleared his throat, shuffling towards his own desk, “If you need anything, feel free to ask me.”

The bedridden one grunted in response, finally lifting his gaze to rest on Leeteuk’s slender backside. It was so…small and weak. How could that figure be the same one he saw torture Choi Seunghyun? How could such a vulnerable, cry baby make a grown man beg for mercy? It was ridiculous, an abomination on so many fucking levels. Kangin shook his head tiredly, not understanding at all. The longer he thought the worse everything got. At times he doubted himself but then he remembered meeting that guy Yunho’s eyes and seeing the alarm in them. If that wasn’t enough, Seunghyun had been taken out of the school.

All of the pieces fit, even the obvious injuries covering Yunho’s face and body.

But there was just one thing. One thing that made him doubt all of the evidence.

Leeteuk sneezed, shoulder rising and hunching delicately. His glasses fell a bit from the force and he covered his nose with a small hand that was practically swallowed up by a white shirt sleeve.

Yes, _that_ was what threw him off.

Ah, screw this shit. Kangin closed his eyes, forcing sleep on his body.  

 

Leeteuk heard soft snoring behind him. He turned back to see Kangin sleeping stiffly, most likely his subconscious telling him not to roll over or else that leg injury will hurt. “Good, he’s asleep…,” the board member murmured inaudibly before going back to his studies.

The phone is his pocket vibrated, halting the school work once more. Leeteuk checked the text message, reading over Yunho’s words:

**There’s a disturbance at the main gate. Check the window. Don’t go outside.**

Silently, Leeteuk rose, gliding over to the window. There were some figures, two to be precise, standing at the school gates talking to some of the administration members. They weren’t armed from what Leeteuk could see, and yes, he could see very well. However, it was strange…he didn’t recognize them.

Those faces were young, perhaps even younger than Leeteuk. But…how was that possible? It hadn’t even been a full year since his departure and DaeHyun’s death. What was going on back in the hell hole? He saw the young duo smirk at the teachers before waving good bye, rather peacefully, and striding back towards a shady looking black van.

“Dangerous…,” Leeteuk muttered, crossing his arms, eyes lowering coldly at the scene.

Unbeknownst to him, Kangin had opened his eyes and was now staring at the speculative boy. That facial expression said it all. It was possible, in that moment, for him to see the underlying demon. Leeteuk was no angel. He was a fucking heartless villain.

Yeah, that was a good definition.

 

 

 


	25. Chapter 25

 

 

**There he was.**

**An I.V. was attached to his bruised, bandaged arm. Those normally comforting black eyes were nowhere to be found, hidden behind swollen, purpled eyelids. The smooth contours of his face were rough with dried blood, stitches and scrapes. Blood hardened his cracked, red lips, holding back any that dared to fall, to dribble down to his neck brace. His hair had become patches of coarse black, the rest of his head heavily decorated in ragged, bloodied gauze.**

**There was no doctor to look at him properly, only the safe house’s caretaker and the little money given to support medical care. Where did they receive an I.V.? It was all part of the minimal care services. That particular item had been used many times over – somewhat – to help all of the other severe injuries. Hospital bills would’ve been ridiculous. Would the government take them on? No. Of course not. They were only some misfits, too poor to live in a better place than that stinking pit. How could any of them ever hope to aid society? What use did they have but murdering one another for pleasure and esteem?**

**But to them…to them there existed more than just writhing in your own filth. It was about preserving bonds and fighting for something…anything. At times, it kept them going. It made them believe, just maybe, there was a purpose for their existence. They hadn’t just been born by accident. Here in this shit hole there were people to befriend, follow, and kill.**

**That adrenaline rush at deciding someone else’s fate, at playing with others like you had been played with your entire life…that was the beauty of living there. No one would reprimand you or save you. Each and every person held the right to succumb, become addicted, to the pleasures of revenge. They were allowed to take their anger and sorrow and loneliness out on all of the other twisted individuals around them.**

**So when a truly caring one appeared, wouldn’t you just want to tear him down?**

**Leeteuk rushed out of the bedroom, catching Yunho’s wrist harshly. He whipped the latter around, forcing him against a wall. “What do you think you’re doing?” Leeteuk demanded, shoving his arms against Yunho’s shoulders, pinning the boy back.**

**“Everything’s gone to hell, don’t you see it, Leeteuk?” he hissed, struggling against the forearm, “I don’t want to be here when Doo-Joon raids the house! I don’t want to die in a street somewhere and have my organs taken for money! So let the fuck go!” He glared hatefully at Leeteuk, lips curling back viciously.**

**The blonde’s jaw twitched, dark eyes heavy with bitterness. “You think he won’t find you? You think you’re gonna be safe in some reform school?” his voice was deathly soft, a tone that sent sharp shudders slicing down Yunho’s back.**

**He swallowed hard, looking away. “I know I’ll be safe for longer. He can’t leave this place. The second he does he’ll have about as much power as any of us.”**

**Why was everything falling apart? This was supposed to be the time of coming together, of rallying. DaeHyun wasn’t waking up any time soon and the next in line for power was Leeteuk and Yunho. They were a team meant to succeed. How was he going to take care of everything alone? How was he going to calm the panic without Yunho…or Nichkhun?**

**“C’mon, you can’t do this to me man,” Leeteuk whispered, fingers curling into tight fists, “you can’t just run away…not after all that we’ve been through.”**

**Yunho shook his head firmly, not giving in to the pleading undertone of his friend. “I’m done with this shit, Leeteuk. I’m so fucking sick of being scared for my life. I…I can’t stay here and defend something so worthless anymore.”**

**“Defending your comrades is worthless now?” he snapped, anger boiling in his stomach again. “DaeHyun is in a _coma!_ He was fighting to protect us and this is how you’re repaying him?! He meant so little to you?”**

**“Just shut up, Leeteuk!” Yunho shouted, shoving at the restraining arm. He was slammed roughly back into the wall, the vehement blonde hovering inches before his face. Yunho winced at the impact but kept his solid gaze on the other. “…I’m not the one who idolizes DaeHyun hyung. He’s probably one of the best people out there…but that’s it. I’m done trying to repay him. In fact, this is _how_ I’m repaying him. I’m getting lost. I won’t be another victim or baggage for him. Isn’t that good enough?”**

**“No it’s not…,” Leeteuk murmured, “He’s not the only one. You’re leaving me behind.”**

**Yunho lowered his head slightly, sighing under his breath. “Teukie…” He raised his arms, wrapping them around the blonde’s slim waist, pulling him forward. The forearm restraining him lessened enough for a full hug to succeed. Yunho leaned his head against Leeteuk’s feeling the other lean on him in turn. “…Come with me,” he murmured near the blonde’s ear, “come with me and you don’t have to deal with any of this anymore. You don’t have to be in Doo-Joon’s hands anymore.”**

**“Two of us running away won’t do anything,” Leeteuk said without hesitation, eyes alert and endlessly shifting, “and unlike you, I know that this isn’t meaningless. While hyung is still alive, I’ll protect these people. They don’t deserve to die.”**

**“…What happens when you die?”**

**Leeteuk stared absently at the floor, his forehead resting against Yunho’s shoulder. “I won’t.”**

**“You don’t know that.”**

**“He won’t kill me.” A small, hateful smile danced across his lips, fading quickly. “Wish he fucking would, but he won’t. I’m an Angel. You can’t kill Angels.”**

 


	26. Chapter 26

 

 

Kangin recovered, accepting as little help as possible from his roommate. No way in hell did he want a monster like that touching him. At one point Kangin thought maybe he had fallen in love at first sight and those feelings expanded for a short while as he continued mulling over the possibilities…but that was all over.

He _knew_ Leeteuk was just another liar.

Did Kangin sympathize? Well, normally he did.

But he had never faced a _murderer._ That was a whole different thing. Leeteuk wasn’t some lost kid who had no parents. He crossed a line that should never be crossed. So what if Kangin didn’t know for sure that Leeteuk had killed someone? Couldn’t it be assumed?

Someone who can do what Leeteuk had done…wasn’t that grounds for a murder assumption? Kangin didn’t want anything to do with his roommate. The second he could change rooms, he would without a doubt.

 

Eunhyuk’s voice came through the phone pressed against Kangin’s ear, saying, “We’re checking that place out tonight right?”

“Yeah, I can walk and shit so it’ll be okay,” Kangin assured, tapping his foot on the hardwood for good measure, “Come to my room and we’ll go.” He ended the call, reaching over to the jacket and black beanie on his desk.  

Just then, the door to the room opened and Leeteuk strode in fresh after a bath. His black hair was a bit wet and shining under the fluorescent lights. Kangin glanced at the boy and without meaning to, noticed something strange.

Leeteuk was moving around just fine without his glasses. In all honesty, it seemed like the boy was moving better. His steps were even and long, confident. It seemed like he was distracted by something, his gaze absently following empty space.

“Where are your glasses?” the broader boy blurted. The second the words left his mouth, Kangin regretted it. Why the fuck did he care?

Leeteuk jumped, evidently surprised by the sudden question. He blinked several times, trying to comprehend the question. When he did, Leeteuk touched his face, eyes widening at the realization. “Oh…I didn’t notice,” he muttered, setting his toiletries down on the desk so he could properly search for the messing spectacles.

It appeared that Kangin couldn’t keep his mouth shut that night because he didn’t let the issue go. In all honesty he made it worse. Kangin would eventually blame his outbursts that night on too many pills and too little physical activity. “You’re even lying about that?”

Again, the slender boy went rigid, slowly turning to look at Kangin. “W-What?”

“Nothing,” Kangin said briskly, zipping up his jacket, teeth gritted.

“O-Okay…,” Leeteuk mumbled, no longer searching for his glasses, “…Are you going somewhere?”

Kangin shrugged subtly, pulling the black beanie over his dark hair. “Yeah I am.”

“Where?” the other boy asked casually.

“What’s it to you?” Kangin said softly.

Leeteuk’s eyes widened at the words. Why was Kangin being so confrontational? Wasn’t it a simple question? He had thought they were on better terms…even a little bit. After all, they were back to talking on a regular basis…sort of. “U-Uhm…I was just wondering.”

“Why?” the taller boy’s voice had grown in volume.

“It’s late,” Leeteuk explained carefully, “and I’m worried about you since you just got better—”

“—what a lie,” Kangin scoffed, cutting the boy off. He couldn’t stop now. Everything was coming out. Shit. “You’re worried about me? Why? Why the fuck would you be thinking about me? Is it because of what I know? I bet that little brat Yunho told you what I saw. I bet you’ve been waiting this whole time to fucking kill me too—!”

“—you were there?”

The tone Leeteuk took nearly froze Kangin’s blood. It wasn’t out of fear – far from it. He felt…regretful. That “villain” sounded as if someone had just reached into his chest and ripped his heart out. Then, without hesitation, took that living, breathing symbol and mercilessly crushed it. Kangin took a step away from his roommate, not wanting to look in the smaller boy’s eyes. _Fuck, shit, shit, shit!_

“Were you there, Kangin?” Leeteuk asked in that same broken voice.

“…It doesn’t matter…”

“Yes it does!” Leeteuk cried, lips quivering.

Kangin took a deep breath, hands in his pockets, body turned slightly away from the slender first year. “Yeah I was.”

The black haired boy wasted no time trying to explain himself. He reached out for Kangin, eyes pleading for the latter to look at him. “Please you have to listen to me! I…I wasn’t planning on hurting him! I was trying to protect Yunho, Kangin! Please, please…please don’t think I’m a bad person…”

Kangin jerked away before Leeteuk could touch him, ignoring the pure hurt in his roommate’s frail gaze. “You _tortured_ him. How can you try and defend yourself after that? You’re not even going to admit you did something wrong…?” He shook his head, sighing and walking towards the door. “Just…when the new term starts I’m going to move in with someone else. I don’t want to live with someone like you.”

The door opened then, Eunhyuk standing on the other side. He looked around the room, not picking up on the atmosphere. “You ready, man?” he prompted Kangin.

“Yeah,” he answered, walking towards Eunhyuk.

“Where are you going?” Leeteuk asked, smiling rather forcefully.

“Ah, just outside,” Eunhyuk replied, “we found this really cool place and it’s in the forest—”

“ _Dude_ ,” Kangin snapped, glaring at the monkey boy.

Leeteuk had already heard though. Worry etched his eyes, masking the pain well. “Don’t go by yourselves. Here, I’ll go with you and if there are any problems—”

“No, we’ll be fine.” Kangin cut in.

Eunhyuk looked at his friend uneasily and then back at Leeteuk. “Well…”

“Can I please go?” Leeteuk asked, giving Eunhyuk his best pout.

Sighing, Eunhyuk nodded while trying to avoid Kangin’s burning glare. He watched Kangin walk ahead of them, shoulders hunched forward and emitting a painfully obvious air of rage. “Let’s head out,” Eunhyuk said, standing at the door waiting for Leeteuk to get his coat on.

The latter shuffled out, closing and locking the dorm room behind him. No, he didn’t want to be around Kangin either, but…Leeteuk’s eyes wandered out to the eerily dark night – there was no way he could rest easy knowing the other guy was out and about in the forest of all places. Whatever they were doing may not have been dangerous – Leeteuk wouldn’t know – but surely those people were still around, watching and waiting.

 

 


	27. Chapter 27

 

 

**Keep an eye out. –Leeteuk**

He sent the text message, hoping Yunho would understand what he meant. Of course it was silly to think he wouldn’t, after all the boy had been his companion for so long…it was a given that Yunho would know exactly what he meant, right?

“If you’re going to come along, stop lagging,” Kangin’s voice broke the eerie quiet.

Leeteuk jumped a bit, narrowly avoiding a thin tree coming up in front of him. “S-Sorry,” he apologized, hurrying to catch up – though he wasn’t particularly far behind. His eyes rested on Kangin for a while, studying the taller boy’s broad frame. No, the slender boy wasn’t “checking out” the other. Instead he was…thinking.

What sort of person was Kangin? Was he normal? Or maybe he was abnormal? What was considered normal after all? He already knew that accepting his darkest side was absolutely impossible. Only a madman – Doo-Joon – would see that side of Leeteuk as beautiful. Even he himself loathed that persona. It was disgusting what the ‘blonde-Leeteuk’ could do, and without remorse.

Would it scare you…to know that Leeteuk didn’t feel a bit of regret for breaking Choi Seunghyun’s fingers? Would it send shudders racing down your spine…to know that he nearly enjoyed the bloodlust that pumped like the sickest adrenaline through his veins? Would it make you think twice about the angel boy…just like Kangin had?

If Leeteuk were to meet himself, he would turn the other way and run until his legs gave out, all the while praying that the devil hadn’t caught up. He was broken in more than several ways, but one of the truly prominent disorders had to be the acceptance. With his whole, icy heart, Leeteuk accepted the ugly person he used to be and perhaps, still was. No, he knew he still was that person. Your personality…character, whatever it is you want to call it, doesn’t die so simply. It has a place in your blood, in your mind, in your body. It’s a cancer that would not cease no matter the torturous cures you try on it.

Ah, here though, think of this. Acceptance and shame are two very different things. Personally, Leeteuk embraced his darkest desires; the ones that forced him to purposefully prolong suffering. He had realized long ago that denying those urges, acting as if they didn’t exist, were just cowardly actions that ultimately led to self destruction. For so long Leeteuk had exerted energy to survive, be capable. Tossing all of that aside for the mere prospect of running away from your own hideous self was…unappealing.

Yet, he was surely the only one to accept this theory - himself. One must be truly twisted to love – hah! What a joke. _Tolerate_. That is a much more accurate word. Leeteuk couldn’t imagine someone merely tolerating his cancerous personality. So he buried it – ashamed of the person. No one would ever - nor _should_ they ever – accept such a hideous thing. If possible, Leeteuk would go back and murder himself. Maybe then Kangin wouldn’t have to suffer with fear and anxiety and thoughts of a worthless being.

Was the boy a tad suicidal? Not in the least. Was he self-loathing? Well, that was one of the more minor disorders, for lack of a better word.

“Hey! Watch where you’re walking,” Kangin barked, glaring at Leeteuk, his face deeply shadowed by the trees and night. Under the bright moonlight, the taller boy’s face could be slightly made out.

Leeteuk nodded his head apologetically, embarrassed that he had been walking without paying attention. He stepped swiftly away before Kangin could do something like push him back. “I didn’t mean to, sorry,” he mumbled.

“Don’t mind him so much,” Eunhyuk whispered to Leeteuk once Kangin was marching ahead and out of ear shot, “He’s just wound tight.”

“It’s my fault,” he said inaudibly, trudging after the leading boy. “Ah, I understand Eunhyuk. Thank you for the concern,” Leeteuk stated, morphing his face into a smile for the other one.

Eunhyuk returned the smile innocently, “No problem. Don’t let him get to you too much Teukie. I’m sure he’s just having issues. That’s all.”

The boy in question simply nodded, eyes travelling absently around the forest. They were somewhere he had never been and that was saying something. Leeteuk could practically create a map of the campus in his mind. How had he missed such a large section of forestry? It was sort of perplexing.

Another several minutes of silent walking passed before Kangin stopped in a small clearing. He crouched down, brushing his hands over the grass. Leeteuk moved closer, studying the strange hand movements. What was Kangin looking for?

Eunhyuk joined them then, kneeling down to help his friend search for the cracked corner. “Hey Teukie,” he grunted, scratching at the trap door, “Could you turn on the flashlight?”

“Mm,” Leeteuk raised the flashlight, directing it over the patch of grass they were currently messing with. His eyes widened as he saw exactly what they were picking at. “Is that…a door?”

Just then, Kangin found the crack, curling his fingers around the give and jerking up with a low grunt. Eunhyuk helped him, arms shaking under the weight of the trap door. It fell into the dark grass with a low, earth shaking thud.

Leeteuk’s heart sped up at the dark set of stairs before him. What…was this?

“Scared?” Kangin prompted mockingly, smirking.

Normally words like those didn’t affect Leeteuk. He was a very level headed fellow. But maybe it was because of the full moon. Or maybe it was because his nerves were on end. Most likely though, it was because he hadn’t slept well for a month and been eating nearly nothing. That was why his response was, “I’m not.”

“’Course not,” the broader boy muttered, taking the flashlight from Leeteuk and venturing down the stone stairs without further ado.

Eunhyuk gaped for a second but then he was following Kangin, appearing to not be afraid at all. It may have been a surprise for some but Leeteuk wasn’t particularly fond of dark, claustrophobic, unknown places. Or maybe it was painfully obvious. He swallowed with some difficulty, gazing after the descending figures.

“Teukie, come on!” Eunhyuk called back, waving his hand.

“…Ah…,” he replied weakly, slowly taking a few steps down. His head was spinning, the world flashing different colors in the dark. Although Leeteuk wasn’t able to make out anything, he could _feel_ the colors and nausea. Each step sent him internally spiraling down, headed for a place darker and scarier than the underground area would ever be.

Leeteuk chanted silently to himself, trying to calm the hyper-sensitivity to his surroundings. It was all too familiar. The bleak cold air, the foul stench, the sense of foreboding – all of it made his skin crawl and his scars burn. They were reflective…excruciating.

 

The flashlight managed to catch very little of the space. Kangin hadn’t been expecting it to be _that_ large. But in fact, the underground facility stretched impressively on all sides. He ran the light beam along the cement floor, seeing some long forgotten stains, cracks, and dirt. Dust particles floated all around, daring to choke anyone who gasped in fear or surprise.

“This place is as creepy as I thought,” Eunhyuk muttered, hands in his pockets as he scooted closer to Kangin. When in doubt, crowd towards the largest person present.

“No shit,” Kangin breathed, slowly turning to the right. He found the area narrow into a hallway and with minimal hesitation ventured down it. A small part of him wondered if Leeteuk was still following them, but then he heard a third step of footsteps, tentative and light. Sighing, Kangin kept moving along. He was relieved in a sense…but not. It didn’t matter to him whether or not Leeteuk came out alright. Okay, maybe that was fucking bull shit.

Did he hate the lying boy? Maybe. Was he angry as hell? Yes.  

It was a strange feeling. The way his stomach turned at remembering all of the bad moments. Then there was the way his stomach fluttered every time Leeteuk flashed a smile – though now he considered it fake – it still managed to make him jump. Those were the times that Kangin wished he was wrong about Leeteuk, that there was something truly vulnerable about the boy. Yes, he had seen Leeteuk crying and pleading in his sleep but nightmares only went so far. At what point did those nightmares go from memories to imagination? Were those tears even real or were the momentary?

Kangin felt something ragged and thin stroke his cheek. A growl rolled out as he stuttered back, turning the flashlight up to blind whoever the hell had touched him.

There, hanging from an evidently ancient noose, was a corpse.

The eye sockets were empty and rotted brown. Wiry strands of grey hair sprung from the decayed skull, decorating the horrendous picture rather well. Dark stains ran down in heavy streaks along the thin, torn up rags dressing the corpse. Their arms had been reduced to pale brown bones, desperately clinging to little chunks of long since crumbling skin and meat.

Behind Kangin, a piercing scream shattered the silence. He swiveled around, eyes wide, flashlight focusing on the fallen Leeteuk. The small boy was crying profusely, his face red and terrified. His eyes shook uncontrollably, lips quivering as if it were negative degrees outside. Kangin took a step towards the trembling boy but Leeteuk scrambled away, knees pulling up to chest, fingers pulling up to hold the sides of his face.

“D-Don’t…I-I promise I’ll do i-it,” he gasped through the tears, wincing as he swallowed dust, “N-No more…p-please they’re still new. I-I just got them to s-stop bleeding…”

Kangin kneeled down, trying to touch the boy. “Hey, what are you talking about…?”

Leeteuk’s eyes were far away though, flooded with some sort of recollection – something the other boy wouldn’t know anything about. “D-Don’t k-kill any more people…not l-like that,” he mumbled, thin fingers not even able to caress his own face properly, “P-Please? Please no m-more…I can’t stand seeing those…p-please…”

“What’s wrong?” Kangin demanded, heart race picking up as he realized the small boy wasn’t getting any better; he was getting worse. He gripped Leeteuk’s shoulders, gently shaking him and trying to pull him back to reality. “Look, it’s not real! It’s a doll. A rubber doll,” Kangin explained, glancing back at the clear replica of a corpse. “No one is dead Leeteuk. Come back to me,” his voice softened, hands rubbing the freezing boy’s arms.

Those petrified eyes flickered with something but then they were lulling closed. His arms fell to sides, body dropping forwards into Kangin’s chest.

Sighing quietly, the tall boy pulled Leeteuk closer, lifting the light boy up easily. “Hey Eunhyuk—…Eunhyuk…?” Kangin looked around, not seeing his friend. Shaking his head, he carried the fainted boy back through the dark, following the pool of moonlight illuminating the stairs.

Kangin rose out of the underground room, catching sight of Eunhyuk pacing up and down around the perimeter of the clearing. The monkey faced boy glanced up, practically falling over in relief. “You’re okay!” he exclaimed.

“Where the fuck did you go?” Kangin hissed, subconsciously keeping his voice low so as not to disturb Leeteuk.

Eunhyuk paused before rummaging in his pockets and withdrawing a small, dead flashlight. “I went to get this back…?”

“You little—,” Kangin cut himself off, glancing down at the stirring figure in his arms. Leeteuk’s brow was furrowed in pain, lips pressed together in a tight line.

“…Are you sure _he_ was the one who did all those badass things?” Eunhyuk asked softly, peering at the slumbering student.

Kangin shook his head. “This isn’t the one. I don’t know who this one is but I’m gonna find out.”

 

 

 


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content.

 

 

**Leeteuk coughed, holding his bruised, contorted chest in pain. The simple act of heaving was absolutely killing him. There were cuts in places he had never dreamed could be cut. There were sores where sores should never be. There were scars forming deeper than skin…**

**Would death feel better than that? He bet it would.**

**A familiar, dreadful groaning of metal filled his silence. Light spilled into the small dark room, staining the dirt, blood, and inconceivable stains marking Leeteuk’s body. His thinning wrists were bound behind him as he lay on his side, eyes squeezing shut at the burning purity. The stench of the outside world followed his visitor in, smelling of fresh death and seminal fluids. A very faint smile – though only in his mind did the facial twisting occur – touched Leeteuk as he deduced there would be no drugs or violation that visit. Could he dirty his mind’s words and create an even fouler picture? Yes he could. But he didn’t want to. He didn’t want to admit to rape. He didn’t want to admit to weakness. He didn’t want to think of anything but hope; hope that DaeHyun would come and hope that Nichkhun would wake up.**

**At those times of great yearning, Leeteuk wanted to both praise himself and stab himself. Praise, because he was carrying with him pride through the bleak present. Stab, because he proved Doo-Joon right every time he felt sympathy for Nichkhun’s lost soul. He needlessly carried a traitor’s burden without as much as a thought to not. In those times and in that place, yes, Leeteuk sometimes had to admit how _soft_ he was. Being soft sounds like a good thing but in reality, it surely is not.**

**Being soft attracts vicious, power-lusting creatures like his captor. Being soft ends in only your personal darkness, it helps only those around you whilst you are left behind.**

**Doo-Joon sliced the rope binding Leeteuk’s wrists, folding the knife and placing it back in his pocket. “Angel…,” he cooed, gathering the limp, exhausted boy into his arms, “We need to purify you. I can’t see your beauty beneath all the sin you’ve taken.”**

**The blonde’s eyes burst open and he clutched Doo-Joon’s shirt with shaking hands. “P-Please no! I-I thought I was doing as you said. Why are you whipping me a-again?” His bloody face found solace in the clean tears cutting through the layers of muck.**

**“No, no,” he murmured, chuckling and cradling Leeteuk as if he were a small, naïve child, “We’re cleaning your body. I don’t want you dying, my Angel. Human disease is a hideous thing. You’re too beautiful…too much of an importance, to die in such an ungraceful way.” Doo-Joon easily carried the silently sobbing boy through dim corridors towards a shower stall at the end of a hall.**

**He kicked the door open and propped Leeteuk against a somewhat moist wall. Swiftly, the dark haired boy turned on the water, deliciously warm sprinkles cascading down Leeteuk’s soiled body. The blonde moaned head sliding back to gather some of the water in his mouth. It was his first bath…in a great amount of time. He could feel the stickiness seeping away, the stiffness of his muscles and joints relaxing, the blood sliding off his fair skin.**

**Doo-Joon removed the boy’s ragged and torn pants, tossing them aside. Gently, he cleaned Leeteuk’s body, wiping away the grime with a hand towel. His eyes were filled with intrigue as he aided the weak boy – seemingly absolutely fascinated by the experience. “Angel,” he prompted softly, cleaning the blonde’s neck and collar, “you’ve endured so much without complaint…truly, we’re so lucky to have you.”**

**“…Mm…,” he croaked, eyes closed as he faded between consciousness and otherwise. The warmth was overwhelming in more ways than one.**

**“Don’t sleep,” Doo-Joon murmured, “we still have to feed you for the night.” Leeteuk wasn’t paying much mind anymore. He had long since known the psycho would do as he pleased. With a quiet chuckle, Doo-Joon finished thoroughly washing away the filth and turned off the shower. Leeteuk’s half-lidded gaze took in the drenched boy, not quite understanding the situation – not that he regularly did.**

**Without much warning, the black haired figure tossed his clothes, replacing them with a t-shirt and sweatpants from a pile off to the side. He grabbed a second towel, almost tenderly drying Leeteuk’s body off. Blood stained the white material but apparently that meant little to nothing. After finishing the task, he dropped the instrument and clothed Leeteuk like a precious doll.**

**Once again cradling Leeteuk, Doo-Joon carried him out of the shower stall, down the hall and into a well-lit room. It was a place the blonde had never visited before, though he had rarely seen anything aside from the dank little room considered his. The murderer took a seat on the floor, resting Leeteuk in his lap.**

**A table of food rested before them and although the options did not vary much, it was certainly more food than Leeteuk had ever seen. The blonde licked his chapped lips, reaching out with one trembling, thinning hand. “…?” he glanced at Doo-Joon for approval. The latter nodded as he busied himself with the task of tracing the deep mark scarring Leeteuk’s lower pelvis.**

**Gingerly, Leeteuk took some of the food, nearly drooling on the overwhelming joy that rolled through his starved body. Colors pierced the backs of his eyelids adding to the beauty of the moment. He forgot he rested in a killer’s embrace. He forgot he was jailed up in a dark place. He forgot everything but the animal instinct to devour energy. There was nothing else but the edibles laid out before him like the grandest feast.**

**For a period of time, the boy ate silently, trying to stuff everything in his mouth at once. There was a blind way in which he ate – as if his mind had shut down completely. And perhaps it had, as Leeteuk did not recall his senses until the food started to truly fill his stomach and the light returned to his dark eyes.**

**“What happened?” he mumbled, swallowing a glassful of water and leaning back against Doo-Joon’s body. The gesture wasn’t friendly, rather it was submissive. Leeteuk’s skin still crawled at the touch of such a sick being but he had nowhere else to rest himself. There was warmth daring to split his veins and that was all he cared about for the moment.**

**The dark haired one turned his indifferent gaze to Leeteuk, tone of voice utterly different from his expression. It had always been an odd part of the disgusting boy. He spoke almost kindly, though his eyes only ever reflected intrigue or, more often than not – nothing. His eyes told no story or thought. They were as dark as they appeared with no light shining at the pits. “Are you feeling better, Angel?” he inquired, still softly fondling the scars criss-crossing his guardian’s torso.**

**“C-Can I sleep…?” Leeteuk asked, expecting the answer that came.**

**“No,” Doo-Joon wrapped his arms around the small boy, dragging him into the air once more as he headed towards a new destination, “There’s no more time to waste. It’s time for you to watch something.”**

**The angel assumed it wasn’t too awful. Surely Doo-Joon was in a good mood and that was why he had treated Leeteuk so civilly. There was no other explanation for such bizarre treatment, right? He prayed – truly fucking prayed – that this would be good. But his prayers were not answered. It appeared people living in those times could only reach the devil. The heavens had abandoned them. No wonder one of their “fallen angels” existed among the dirty humans now.**

**They entered a large dim area. The ceiling was high, vaulted. Where the pair stood, Leeteuk could look down upon a strange procession. There were seven bound and masked figures lined up in the center of the warehouse’s main room. Lurking in the shadows were snickering and most likely hunched, onlookers, waiting impatiently for something. Leeteuk turned up to see Doo-Joon gazing back at him, lips parting to say, and “Watch clearly, Angel…what you are responsible for.”**

**A shot broke the hissing of excited voices.**

**Leeteuk jumped, shaking in the firm arms around him. His eyes trailed back to where the first of the seven fell forward, black liquid pooling steadfastly from his throat.**

**Another shot.**

**The next man fell.**

**When the boy tried to look away, Doo-Joon dropped him, shoving him against the metal railing. He tangled fingers into Leeteuk’s hair, twisting roughly to force the angel to watch – watch the massacre of faceless people. Doo-Joon brought his lips close to the other’s ear after the third man fell dead. “You felt human warmth, you were allowed to experience the sin of tenderness,” he whispered, “and this is the result, Angel. These men had no one to pity them, no one to take their sin for them. Do you see the result of your negligence? So long as you dream for release, so long as you internally resist my attempts to free these men…they will continue dying. You will continue being responsible for these murders.”**

**“…I-I…I’m not killing them…I’m not,” Leeteuk’s voice broke, face twisting in pain.**

**“Yes you are, dear Angel,” Doo-Joon persisted in that deep, lulling way. His lips pressed hard against the boy’s ear, breath burning, “Who will accept their sin for them? When someone lacks an angel, they will burn in sinner’s hell. Whilst you enjoyed profound human luxuries, I had the horrible job of telling my men to kill these rebels.”**

**Leeteuk choked on his sobs, fingers slipping to his sides. “I…P-Please don’t kill any more of them…please? I’ll take it all. I’ll accept their sin so don’t kill anyone anymore.” The fingers curled in his hair loosened and Leeteuk slumped forward, holding the railing for support.**

**“Yes, that’s exactly what I wanted to hear, my Angel,” Doo-Joon sighed in relief, pulling Leeteuk into his arms and gently stroking the boy’s mussed locks. “I’ll expel their sin. You’ll take everyone’s impurities, hmm?”**

**The blonde could only nod. He wasn’t a saint. He wasn’t trying to save everyone. He was being selfish. There were no intentions of pity. It had solely to do with Leeteuk’s desire. Inside, he couldn’t handle the sight of death. Taking the torture himself was the best way to avoid seeing someone lay cold. If it meant Leeteuk could continue his days without seeing a corpse, then he would do almost anything.**

**Just…no more death.**

**He loathed death.**

**Natural death. Unnatural death.**

**All of it was unacceptable.**

**“Now watch until the end,” Doo-Joon murmured, tilting Leeteuk back to face the last standing man.**

**Leeteuk forced his eyes open, tears dripping down his neck. For a moment, it felt as if the masked man was returning his gaze. The burning in Leeteuk’s chest intensified. He watched the victim until his last moment, until the bullet shattered his throat and brought to a close the unknown life he had lived.**


	29. Chapter 29

 

 

“What? Why?” Kangin demanded, instinctively tightening his hold on the unconscious boy.

Yunho rested his gaze coldly – almost hostilely – on the hesitating Kangin. “I’ll take care of Leeteuk. You don’t have to worry about him.” With that he stretched out his arms, mouth a straight, firm line. “It’s not as if you care about someone who did _that_ right?” His tone was almost mocking, challenging.

Disbelief filled Kangin’s features. What the hell? There were more than a few questions floating around in the tall boy’s mind. One of them however stood more prominently than the others. Why hadn’t Yunho confronted him – even now the boy wasn’t directly stating anything? “…I want to talk to him when he wakes up,” Kangin stated.

Yunho made a soft, irritable noise. “Look, whatever it is you want to interrogate Leeteuk with can wait.” When Kangin still refused to hand over the slumbering boy, Yunho’s eyes grew darker under the glare of the moon. “He won’t want to see you when he wakes up. You’ll just unnerve him. He’s already been on edge for months now and you’re not making it any easier. Tonight’s not the night to question him.”

This time Kangin hesitated, eyes reflecting uncertainty. There was a possibility that Yunho was telling the truth. What if Leeteuk just…snapped and lost it instead of calmly collecting himself? If the boy just freaked out when he woke up then Kangin wouldn’t know what to do. “…” Grudgingly, Kangin stepped forward, extending his arms slightly.

Without wasting any time, Yunho swept Leeteuk out of the taller boy’s arms, holding his friend close as he turned sharply, walking away.

“Wait!” Kangin called, “How can you just leave like that?!”

Yunho tilted his head back. “Do you need something?”

He scrambled for something to ask, digging through his pool of many questions. At the last second before Yunho could continue his departure, Kangin blurted, “Why didn’t you come find me after that night? …Why were you not eager to shut me up?”

The boy seemed to sigh but he answered nonetheless, unable to find any good reason to deny Kangin of an answer. “Leeteuk and I…act as a unit. I was afraid to tell him I saw you – failed to prevent you from seeing, really. So there was no way to formulate a plan to shut you up. So long as Leeteuk doesn’t know something then I don’t – _won’t_ – act.”

“It’s that simple?” Kangin prompted with his eyes unwaveringly on Yunho.

The latter nodded subtly. “It’s that simple.”

Eunhyuk had watched the exchange with more than a little confusion and exhaustion. When he befriended Kangin on that first day, he hadn’t been planning to find out so much shit. What the hell was the world going to if people like Leeteuk and Yunho had shady-ass pasts? They were supposed to role models for all of the messed up kids at school. Yet…how could they be the worst of the worst?

The pair disappeared from sight, leaving Kangin and Eunhyuk at the edge of the forest. “Do you know what’s going on?” Eunhyuk muttered.

“Not a fucking clue.”

“Then…what do we do now?” the other inquired, shuffling his feet awkwardly. It was cold but his blood was pumping so hard it felt wrong to just go back to the dorms and sleep. Hell, would he even be able to sleep after what they had seen that night – namely the corpse. What was that thing doing in a place like that anyway? Hah, well, Eunhyuk could _guess_ but he prayed that wasn’t the truth.

Kangin turned back towards the forest, flicking on the light of his phone. “Let’s go back.”

“ _What?_ ” Eunhyuk hissed, catching the taller boy’s arm before he could start off.

“What do you mean ‘What’?” Kangin scoffed, pulling out of Eunhyuk’s grip. “There have been so many campus supervisors roaming around lately that we won’t even be able to get close to the forest. This is our only chance to check things out. Unless you wanna come back tomorrow night and do this shit all over again.” He smirked, nudging the skinny boy. “Hey…what if the corpse is gone tomorrow…? Wouldn’t that be creepy? Makes you wonder…”

Eunhyuk gulped, skin crawling. “We’ll go tonight,” he squeaked.

Kangin swallowed a laugh and forced a grunt through his shut lips. They ventured back into the forest without a word, trudging over shrubbery and darkened obstacles. It didn’t take very long to get back; actually, the path itself was rather easy once you realized how to properly follow it.

The trap door was still wide open, revealing the dark staircase. Kangin shined his light down first, descending easily. When he didn’t hear any footsteps behind him, the broad boy turned around, glaring at the hesitant Eunhyuk. “Let’s go already,” he snapped, snatching Eunhyuk’s arm and dragging him into the dark area, “And just so you know, I’m not gonna let you ditch me this time around. We’re finishing this thing together man.”

“Fine…,” Eunhyuk sighed, heart racing as the dark closed in around them. The stupid phone light wasn’t bright enough and his long-abandoned-only-recently-retrieved flashlight was dead.

Kangin found the familiar hallway to the right of the facility, shining the light directly at the hanging body. Beside him, Eunhyuk’s breath hitched. As expected though, the corpse really was a dummy. Part of Kangin was relieved he hadn’t fooled himself into thinking it was fake and that in reality the damned thing really was fake. “Stop being so scared,” Kangin stated, tugging on his friend’s arm, “the thing’s a doll. See?” He walked up to it, still holding onto Eunhyuk, and prodded the rubber horror-dummy with the tip of his shoe. It deflated a bit, swaying in the freezing air.

“Well why is it here then?” Eunhyuk asked, no longer scared, rather disgusted now.

“How would I know?” Kangin replied, turning the small light to the ground where his flashlight laid from earlier. He had left it behind to carry Leeteuk but now he picked it up, turned off his phone light and flicked the switch on the large flashlight.

Pivoting in a slow circle, Kangin examined the narrow hallway, finding the walls to be pretty well intact and the stone to be smooth. His eyes ran over a light switch. Just for fun, Kangin knocked the little switch up. What he hadn’t been expecting was the entire underground area to fill with – though dim – light.

Eunhyuk yelped, surprised by the color change. Once he realized it was a good change, his eyes widened and he looked around. “Whoa…where are we?”

“C’mon,” Kangin grunted, pulling Eunhyuk into the main room. His chest thudded hard against rib cage, adrenaline attacking his veins at the prospects. They burst into the main room and truly, it was nothing like they expected.

There were tattered decorations similar to the horror-theme of the rubber corpse scattered along the dirty floor. Rounded black booths flanked the open space that was the main room. However, it almost felt like a viewing area – as the booths were raised on platforms roughly two standardized steps higher than the empty pit. Stains covered the floor in random patterns, leaving behind dusty residue. Built into the wall directly facing the only exit was a cracked stone bar. Old, empty bottles lined the shelves but they were scarce in number – many of them jagged and/or broken.

“Is this…some entertainment area?” Eunhyuk prompted softly, still trying to process the whole thing. Ancient lights flickered overhead and although they were suspended rather high, the bulbs were still free to hang.

Kangin slowly released his friend’s arm. What sort of place had they found…? He walked up to the bar, idling up beside it to examine the surface. When he reached the other end of the bar, his eyes fell upon a glass protected document.

_~Opening Night~_

_1998_

_­_ Unfortunately, he couldn’t read the signature. Kangin squinted, trying to make it out or any of the other information provided on the paper.

“Kangin!” Eunhyuk called.

“Huh?” Kangin demanded, looking up in annoyance.

The skinny boy was gingerly holding an old, discolored paper. Kangin strode over, leaning over Eunhyuk’s shoulder to read the flyer he had picked up.

 

_Hallows’ Eve 2004!_

_Join us for a night of scares, dancing, and fun!_

_You know where to go,_

_So we’ll be waiting for you!_

_Peace~_

 

There were some other graphics and blurbs scrawled across the paper but they seemed unimportant. If the last thing they hosted was a Halloween event in 2004, than whatever the pair had stumbled upon wasn’t too old. Kangin grinned. He was happy – as Eunhyuk was too – that they hadn’t found some sort of freaky, abandoned torture chamber.

But…now there was a new question to ask: Where were they? Why the hell was there an underground social facility? How could one even exist…?

 

 

 


	30. Chapter 30

 

 

Leeteuk rolled onto his side, eyes opening carefully. The room was brightly lit, soft music playing in the background. That was what had dragged him from unconsciousness in the first place. Such gentle sounds held no space in his nightmares and therefore became a guiding light – out of the black and cold and blood. His lips inched up in a facial spasm that appeared similar to a smile but surely was not.

A warm blanket covered him up to the shoulders, fluffy pillow supporting his head. Leeteuk allowed his eyes to close briefly as he savored the safety for a few precious moments. There were so few times where he could calmly breathe and this was one of them. Those dreams…they made his heart race to no end, all the while forcing burning tears from his exhausted eyes. However, would it be horrifying to say that they came oh-so frequently it was little more than a reminder of all his insecurities? Leeteuk couldn’t rightfully say he was unaffected by them; rather, it was _which ones_ affected him. The ones concerning DaeHyun were the worst…but the other ones…the ones about his time with Doo-Joon…those were bearable, far too bearable.

The torturous memories were painful to relive in his mind but truly, they could never compare to the ancient reality. Leeteuk often times pitied those who completely lost themselves and sailed into the abyss. There were also times where he envied them though. At least in a white padded cell, you knew you were safe.

However, he had never sought out that sort of safety. To be locked up in a confined area, watched at all hours of the day, controlled down to the length and time you used to washroom – wouldn’t that be too painfully similar to being Doo-Joon’s captive? The only difference Leeteuk had ever found was the coloring of walls and sanitation.

At the very least, the academy was a safe haven – a place that kept you in so long as you wished. If for some reason Leeteuk chose to leave someday, he would have the freedom. Then again…he couldn’t truthfully say that he wished to leave. It was the mere thought that he _could_ , which drove him to swallow the pathetic little child inside of him and venture into a borderline place like the academy.

The present problem though was how to force the pitiful, scared “Leeteuk” back into the recesses of his mind? He liked to call that side of him “Angel” affectionately and in honor of the psycho who birthed that persona of Leeteuk.

“You awake?” Yunho murmured, crouching down to eye-level. He brushed some of his friend’s black hair out of his face.

“Yeah I am,” Leeteuk answered softly, nibbling absently on a fingernail.

The seated boy nodded slightly, “You need to dye your hair soon. I can see the bleached roots.” He dropped his hand, lip spasm forcing a smile upon his features. “The music is Mozart. You know, he was rather happy for being a classical composer.”

Leeteuk chuckled halfheartedly, eyes locked on Yunho like a curious child. “Why did you pick this particular song then?”

“I hoped it would wake you up from your nightmares,” he answered, “the tune is so innocent that I thought perhaps it would drive your inner psycho out.”

“That’s very kind of you,” Leeteuk lessened the intensity of his gaze as he sat up, the blanket falling around his waist. The music was coming from the other boy’s open laptop. A note page was pulled up on the screen, blocking the music player window. “Are you working on Freshmen Board things?” he asked, idly sliding the blanket off.

Yunho straightened, keeping his hand on Leeteuk’s shoulder so as to steady him as he attempted to stand up. “I was working on the schedule for the Winter Lights Festival. StudGov is busy preparing for the incoming freshmen and Sophomore Board is working to put together a going away present for the third years. It’s really a mess among the upperclassmen,” he sighed, smiling warily.

“Ah, I can help you,” Leeteuk offered, moving over to read what Yunho had written so far.

“Are you sure you don’t want to talk about what happened tonight?”

Leeteuk shook his head without turning around. Talking about everything was the last thing he wished to do. No, it was the second to last thing actually. The _last_ thing he wanted to do was go back to his dorm room and face the mess he made of his and Kangin’s relationship. “The more I talk about it, the more it’ll come out.”

“…Then at least rest,” Yunho stated, closing the laptop and turning Leeteuk around, “you never get enough sleep and after tonight don’t you think you should try and relax?”

The smaller boy paused but then said, “I can’t sleep right now. If I do I’ll only see him.” His voice was indifferent, far from scared, or more realistically, Leeteuk was currently bashing the crying ‘Angel’ into a dark corner of his mind.

“Let’s dye your hair then.”

Leeteuk thought about it for a moment. Sitting in a chair stiffly for an hour sounded like a good way to tire him out. He couldn’t rightfully say it would lessen the force of the nightmares but at least he wouldn’t have to stay awake, trapped in his own thoughts. “Okay.”

 

 

 


	31. Chapter 31

 

 

“I never thought I’d see you in a library,” Eunhyuk scoffed, leaning over Kangin’s shoulder to eye what the large boy was reading so intently. His eyes widened, brows rising. “What the fuck are you reading?”

Kangin ignored the monkey-face, flipping a page in the thick, dusty textbook. There was a paper full of scribbles and scratched out notes next to the seated boy. Eunhyuk didn’t even attempt to decipher the hurried notes. Instead, he tried to get an idea of what Kangin was reading since he apparently wasn’t planning on telling him.

It took a few moments but Eunhyuk finally zeroed in on the words running across the page.

 

_In 1998, the successor, Moon Hee-Joon, decided to give students more power in hopes of allowing them to further their capabilities when they were finally sent back into the real world._

_One of his many new programs included Student Government, a board of students who would run the school’s major social events and assemblies. The positions offered: President, Vice President, Secretary, Treasurer, and Historian. The first Student Government was elected by the student body and has continued this way._

_Another key point Moon Hee-Joon addressed was the isolation of the academy. Although many students enjoyed the serene, detached atmosphere, there were an equal number of students favoring the right to act as “teenagers” and engage in social gatherings outside of the school’s jurisdiction. Although this was idea was never realized, it has become less of an issue over the years._

Eunhyuk stopped reading, incredibly bored. He hadn’t expected it to be an _actual_ textbook. That was just… The monkey-face shook his head, arms crossing over chest. “Why are you reading about the school’s history?”

And still, Kangin said nothing. He heard the skinny kid loud and clear but that didn’t mean he would answer the question. Stopping to reply would take too much time and effort, but more importantly, it would drive Kangin to pause in his furious research.

There were two main reasons he was working so hard to shut everything out and focus.

The first and less important one was his curiosity concerning the underground area. It was already obvious that no foster kid could’ve built that place without the help of the school. So the question was _who_ in the administration allowed the construction of such a shady place? Kangin had been through three historical textbooks on the academy already but none of them gave sufficient clues.

Of all the material he had sifted through, there were approximately two things that stuck out. There was the paragraph on the page right that second and then there was a passage in a textbook from thirty or so years ago. Why were they so outstanding? Well, the 1998 excerpt hinted at some rather odd things. Why did the number of complaints go down if nothing changed? If he knew teenagers – and he surely did – then it was quite obvious things would’ve escalated and become far worse. As for the older note-worthy information he stumbled upon, it explained why there was such an odd underground facility. Originally the school had a number of underground passages that were used during war periods – which explains why there was so much space down there, as well as the light fixtures and air circulation.

The other reason Kangin was working so hard to stop his wandering thoughts was because Leeteuk didn’t return the previous night. He waited up for the slender boy but he just never showed up.

Kangin hated the way he kept thinking about him and the way he looked so scared when faced with a corpse. The face Leeteuk showed was so…honest. And when Kangin thought about it, his thoughts became even more jumbled. It made him doubt that Leeteuk was all bad. It made him think that just maybe…he should be giving the boy another chance.

And those were the precise thoughts that made Kangin want to bury himself in old textbooks. He seriously needed to stop thinking about Leeteuk and all of the other shit. It made his brain hurt to the point that he was choosing to research history. That meant something right?

“Did Teukie come back last night?”

Fuck. Kangin shot Eunhyuk an annoyed glare before sighing and leaning back in the wooden chair. Fine, he really did want to talk about it. To be more specific, Kangin just didn’t want to contemplate the mystery that was Leeteuk by himself. It was just sad and stressful mulling over such a strange character all alone. “No he didn’t,” Kangin finally answered.

Eunhyuk frowned, “Does that mean he stayed with Yunho?”

A strangely annoying twinge of anger nipped at the broader boy. “Yeah, I guess so.”

“Do you think they did anything?”

“Would you shut up?” Kangin snapped, lips curling back viciously.

“Whoa, why are you getting upset?” Eunhyuk muttered, stuffing his hands in pockets and giving Kangin a confused look.

“No reason,” he growled, turning back to the textbook. Maybe talking about it with someone like Eunhyuk wasn’t a good idea. The kid just didn’t know how to shut his mouth, did he? At the least, couldn’t he have some sensitivity?

The lanky first year sat down on the table, swinging his dangling legs over the edge. “What are we going to do about the underground lair thing?”

Kangin shook his head, sighing under his breath at the change of subject. “I don’t know. First we need to know who the hell ordered it to become a hangout. If someone didn’t order it then how could it have become like that?”

“…Why does this matter so much?”

The tall boy shrugged. How could he possible say it was a good distraction from thinking about a certain heavenly, badass roommate?

 

 


	32. Chapter 32

The room was filled with papers, crates, and a number of books. Dust coated nearly everything in the basement, even the floors were fogged with the clingy, cough-inducing particles. There was one file cabinet in the room that was relatively clean. It just so happened to be the one Yunho and Leeteuk were in need of.

It had already been two days since Leeteuk last saw Kangin and honestly, with every passing day, the thought of seeing the other boy grew scarier. He didn’t want to face him after all that happened, understandably.

So he was hiding out in Yunho’s room, spending as much time as possible awake and working on board tasks. It was a wonderful distraction from everything.

“Do you think this will actually help?” Yunho called as he unlocked the file cabinet and began digging through the folders.

“We need to know what previous costs were like,” Leeteuk replied, wandering around the basement, “Otherwise we may spend too much on the festival.” He didn’t bother to help the other boy. It would be too crowded if both of them were trying to dig through files.

“Oh, do you want to do a Talent Show or Talent Competition? I’ve heard from the upperclassmen that we usually do a Show, but the Competition sounds like a lot of fun.”

“I agree, a Competition would be much cooler,” Leeteuk replied, busying himself with looking around. He wasn’t expecting to actually find anything considering how untouched all of the stored materials were. It helped pass the time…that’s all.

Leeteuk stumbled over a box, almost falling. _Huh…?_ His eyes fell to the overstuffed crate and he crouched down, idly skimming the papers. They were just some old accounting documents. After a few minutes, he stood up, meandering to the other side of the room.

He glanced around the side of a high tower of crates, seeing nothing but an endless…wait. Leeteuk narrowed his eyes, taking a step forward. Why was it endless? Carefully picking his way around some fallen, dust coated papers, he reached out into the darkness. You may be asking why he would do such a thing considering all his fears and traumas. Well, it’s a very good question. Why _would_ Leeteuk allow curiosity to get the better of him?

If prompted, perhaps the boy couldn’t answer that. He might have answered that it was a disgusting draw he had. All the time he spent among Doo-Joon’s people left a deeper impression than anyone would like to admit. Leeteuk couldn’t control the habit of moving in time with the dark and of responding to places of Doo-Joon’s nature.

So he sought it out against his will. His body inched forward, closer and closer to the blackness.

“Leeteuk!” Strong arms wrapped around his body, jerking him away from whatever the hell he was trying to grab. Yunho was breathing heavily, heart pounding erratically. He stayed like that, holding his friend back, for a long moment before saying, “What are you doing?!”

The smaller boy blinked, shaking his head. “I…Sorry,” Leeteuk murmured, slumping back against Yunho. His gaze flickered back to the dark, shiver rolling up his backside.

“Teukie…,” Yunho sighed, leaning his head on the shorter one’s shoulder, “you can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?”

Yunho tightened his hold on the boy, trying to force sincerity into his words and actions. “You can’t hold back anymore. I know you’re trying to control yourself and trying to live normally, but it just isn’t working this way. Just because you can suppress the weakness doesn’t mean it’ll go away!”

“…Let go.” Leeteuk struggled in the embrace, teeth gritting together at the force he was exerting. If it weren’t for several different factors, breaking out of Yunho’s grip would’ve been so incredibly easy. Frustration boiled in the pit of Leeteuk’s stomach. He didn’t want to listen to his friend’s words. Why was Leeteuk being reprimanded? Hadn’t he dealt with everything fairly well? Or in comparison to other people, hadn’t he done a superb job of controlling himself?

“No!” Yunho snapped. “You…Leeteuk, you’re clinging to memories that should be let loose. Don’t you see that when you’re faced with them again, you’ll just lose it all?! They’ll crush you before the blow can be dealt! If you don’t let yourself be free then Doo-Joon…all of them will overwhelm you with atmosphere alone.”

Leeteuk writhed, pushing and shoving at the arms tying his waist. “Who do you think I can actually tell?! Who would listen to me and accept me?” he cried, shoulders shaking as fear broke through the well-crafted barriers. “ _No one_ would understand Yunho! No one who wasn’t there with me…” A bitter little smile worked its way onto his features, eyes lowering angrily. “And if they did understand…do you think they would see me as a person? Wouldn’t I just be another pathetic, traumatized kid? The _freak_ of the school…”

Slowly, Yunho loosened his hold, realizing just how far Leeteuk really was. He had always thought they were close – and surely they were – but…what sort of relationship did Leeteuk need? It wasn’t a brother-in-arms was it? He needed someone else…someone who wasn’t there. And Leeteuk was right. Who would embrace him – or Yunho for that matter – after knowing the sorts of things they had done…had had done to them?

“…I guess—” Yunho began, taking half a step away from Leeteuk.

But then Leeteuk was being jerked into the darkness. His eyes went wide, body falling backwards as something dragged him away. Neither one had any time to scream as Leeteuk disappeared into the tunnel.

Yunho lunged forward, running blindly in. His fingertips grazed the fabric of Leeteuk’s pants but the moment he tried to curl around it, the boy was out of sight and reach. Emotions were building up inside of him, feeling unbearable and in need of release. Yunho swallowed hard, nails digging into the cold cement, knees grinding painfully into the ground. _“LEETEUK!”_

 

Leeteuk thrashed and shouted at the person. It was too dark to make out their face but by the feel of the hand, the figure was much larger than him. The thought of a massive kidnapper didn’t particularly scare Leeteuk. Had the hand been thinner and more muscle than skin, Leeteuk would’ve been feeling cold blood running through his veins. But this person was warm – human.

“Who are you?” the slender boy yelled, trying to gain some traction on the ground, but every time he managed to get a hold of a crack in the cement or a sticky patch of something or other, the grip on his wrist became more demanding and forceful.

There was no response.

Suddenly, Leeteuk felt his back crashing into a wall, a gasp bursting from his lips. There was a dim orange light pouring down on them, creating the only pool of radiance in the entirely too long tunnel.

Two hands came up, pinning Leeteuk by the wrists. The light finally fell upon the figure and Leeteuk felt his eyes widen.

“I hate being confused. I’m so fucking tired of running around unsure of what to think. So I’m done assuming and guessing. We’re going to talk and you’re going to tell me the wholly shitty truth. I don’t care if you’re afraid I’ll hate you because,” Kangin sighed softly, eyes boring into Leeteuk’s, “I liked you before and after. I liked you while thinking you were a murderer. There’s really no way for me to hate you.”

 


	33. Chapter 33

 

 

Kangin hadn’t meant to eavesdrop or to even end up in a situation like that. He had gone back to the underground facility, taking time to sneak past patrollers. Eunhyuk was busy with something - Kangin wasn’t exactly sure – so he had gone alone with the hope of finding out more information on the place.

After looking around for a while, he couldn’t find anything except for a few useless, water-damaged papers and some more holiday decorations. Just as Kangin had planned to leave, he found another door. Without giving it much thought, he opened it and ventured past the orange light and into the dark tunnel. Kangin felt around the walls searching for a light switch but when he finally realized there was none, it was too late.

He was fucking lost. Sighing, he kept moving forward because going backwards was never a good idea…right? Several more minutes had passed when Kangin saw a light at the end of the tunnel – how cliché. To make things more cliché, he saw a vision of an angel at the end, a black haired angel.

“Leeteuk…,” Kangin had breathed, moving towards the other boy. He thought it was a hallucination, a guide out of the tunnel, because then the angel boy was reaching out to him. Kangin’s heart fluttered and he allowed his arm to raise, fingers splayed in hope of touching the black haired beauty.

But then someone was winding their arms around Leeteuk, effectively destroying the illusion. Stopping mid step, Kangin dropped his arm, gazing at the real life scenario. Where the hell had he ended up anyway? He shook previous, romantic thoughts out of mind, trying to regain his composure.

Why were Leeteuk and Yunho underground as well? Kangin couldn’t ponder for very long as his ears tuned into the conversation. They were talking about stuff he didn’t understand and again, the aggravation of being left out was near ridiculous.

Although Kangin didn’t get what was being said, the look on Leeteuk’s face was enough. He saw the self loathing and doubt; he saw the bitterness; he saw everything. Was Leeteuk really as confused as Kangin? Perhaps they were lost on different paths but…somehow seemingly uncrossing paths can find one another.

At one point, they could be standing on opposing ends, but it didn’t take much to cross the threshold and fall in line, right?

Kangin didn’t know what he was doing as his fingers found Leeteuk’s wrist, dragging the boy onto the other side…with him.

 

Leeteuk sat on his dorm room bed, twiddling his thumbs as he threw uncertain glances Kangin’s way. They had been sitting in silence for almost half an hour then. It appeared that his roommate was struggling to gather his thoughts for the interrogation, as Leeteuk liked to call it.

However the silence was becoming painfully awkward. Leeteuk had nothing else to think about but Kangin’s odd confession. He wasn’t sure whether to blush and swoon or gape and question. What sort of person was Kangin? No, more than that, what sort of person could feel something for a supposed murderer? Leeteuk had never done anything extraordinary to Kangin as far as he knew. In fact, he was almost positive he only lied and toyed and used Kangin. So…why was he so loyal…?

Why did Kangin have to fall for someone as hideous at Leeteuk? It would’ve been better had he never gotten close.

Clearing his throat, Kangin finally returned the smaller one’s fleeting looks. Leeteuk jumped a bit, not expecting the sudden movement. “Okay, answer me honestly,” Kangin stated without any room for argument.

Tentatively, Leeteuk nodded.

“What’s your name?”

Leeteuk furrowed his brow. “Uh…Park Jungsu,” he answered. Hadn’t he told Kangin his real name?

“Just making sure you didn’t lie about that,” Kangin explained, elbows on knees, fingers clasped and body hunched. He was staring directly at Leeteuk, no decipherable emotions on his face. “Where are you from?”

The question made his heartbeat accelerate. He gulped, moving his fingers down to play with the blanket beneath him. “A small city…,” Leeteuk whispered, trying to force power into his voice, “…with a lot of gang violence. It’s heavily neglected by authorities.”

“Were you part of it?”

Leeteuk was clawing at the sheets now, calming his nerves as best he could. His body hummed with the energy to run but at the slightest movement, he noticed Kangin tensing up to stop him. It was as if they were chasing and running without really moving. “…Yeah.”

“How much?” Kangin prompted.

“A lot,” Leeteuk murmured almost inaudibly. The room was so deathly silent, no matter how low his voice became, it sounded far too loud.

“Why?”

That surprised him. Leeteuk looked up, eyes widening slightly. He wanted to know why? But…why? No one had ever cared about why he was like that. Really…it was the first time someone questioned Leeteuk’s motives. Even Yunho had never asked such a thing. It had been so long since he had to answer such a question…did he still know the answer?

Leeteuk smiled morosely. Of course he still knew the reason. “…I wanted power.” He breathed in deeply, steadying his shaking voice. “I wanted to stand out among so many ‘lost souls’ and the only way was to become the strongest.”

Kangin didn’t comment further. It felt like a true interrogation, the silence being his judgment. “Did you ever kill anyone?”

“Never,” at this point, Leeteuk met Kangin’s eyes, the truth shining through his tired, black pupils.

Kangin nodded slightly, feeling as if he needed to show Leeteuk that he believed him on that note. It would explain why he freaked out when he saw that dead body. “Why did you beat up Choi Seunghyun?”

“He beat up Yunho,” Leeteuk replied, “because he was trying to get to me.”

“Who’s after you?”

Leeteuk bit his lower lip. Why did it sound like Kangin knew that someone was currently after him? How closely had he been watching Leeteuk these past few weeks? “Someone from my past,” he said softly, “they’ve been searching for me since I ran away.” Leeteuk knew how preposterous and overly dramatic it all sounded but how else could he explain the circumstances? Those were the circumstances! He licked his lips, only then noticing how dry they were. “I…I came here because they m…murdered my hyung. I couldn’t handle it anymore…I needed to get away. Yunho was already at this school and so I came here…among other reasons.”

“Who was the hyung?”

A part of Leeteuk was happy for the detached way Kangin spoke. It made explaining everything easier. He would’ve had a much harder time speaking if Kangin were emotional. “A boy named DaeHyun. He led a group of us…the only ones who were still defying the major gang’s influence.”

“Why were you guys fighting them?”

“Because they were murderers.” Leeteuk shook his head, jaw clenching.

Kangin paused, seemingly collecting his thoughts. “…Why do you wear glasses when you don’t need them?”

Leeteuk staggered a little. What sort of change was that? He raised an eyebrow before saying hesitantly, “U-Uh, I thought it would make me look smarter.”

The corner of Kangin’s mouth twitched up and he quickly covered his face, eyes twinkling with amusement. Leeteuk simply stared at the other boy, mesmerized by the way he was. He hadn’t met someone so easygoing since…well, since DaeHyun. How could Kangin just let everything go so quickly? Where did someone acquire such envious attributes?

“Hey, what are you looking at?” Kangin demanded gruffly, frowning and apparently having regained his composure.

“S-Sorry, nothing,” Leeteuk looked down, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.

“Look at me.”

Leeteuk’s head lifted of its own accord, as if that deep voice was a trigger. His eyes met Kangin’s and then his heart was racing again – though this time it was nowhere near fear. The way the other boy was studying him said it all. _He wasn’t lying…_ Leeteuk forced the trembling from his lips and the water from his eyes. Kangin wasn’t lying about his confession…he really meant it. But wasn’t that still too good…too good for someone like Leeteuk?

“We’re done for now,” Kangin announced, stretching and yawning. He rolled his neck and shrugged off his sweatshirt.

“T-That’s it?” Leeteuk stammered, scrambling to his feet.

Kangin eyed the boy curiously. “Yeah, I have nothing else I can think of.” He carefully brushed the back of his hand across Leeteuk’s cheek, the warm touch rocketing straight through the slender boy’s body. “I’m glad I don’t like a murderer.” Kangin tried to smile and for the most part it worked.

 _This is too good. This isn’t fair._ Leeteuk pushed the thoughts back though. For a few more hours, let him enjoy the warmth.

 

 


	34. Chapter 34

 

**Doo-Joon gazed down at the tear streaked face of his angel. “Just three more,” he murmured soothingly, brushing sweaty blonde hair off Leeteuk’s forehead. Slowly, he circled around the bloodied and burned figure, eyes skimming over the assortment of scar tissue and red welts.**

**“H-How many already?” Leeteuk whispered, deep scarlet liquid rolling down from his chained wrists. His teeth ground together, jaw sore from the cold and grit.**

**Without much warning, searing pain stiffened the captive’s shoulder blade. Leeteuk had no more voice to scream so he simply arched and shook the rusting metal locking his bony limbs. Doo-Joon pulled the white-hot metal away from Angel’s skin, studying the deep burn mark among many. They were lined up like tally marks – one for each person Angel saved. It was a beautiful portrait of martyrdom and every time Doo-Joon laid his eyes upon it, a strange light filled those dead black pupils.**

**“Thirty, my dear,” he told Leeteuk, softly kissing the side of the hanging boy’s neck. There was a particular scar where he pressed his lips. It was also his favorite place to show adoration to his angel. “Two more and you’ll be updated,” Doo-Joon whispered against the cold, thin skin. As he spoke, the branding tool came back down against the freezing human canvas.**

**Leeteuk jerked, fingers clenching into weak fists. The smell of burning flesh had long since filled the barely lit room. It had become the only thing keeping Leeteuk’s sense of smell alive. Among the foulest scents in the place, his smoking skin topped them all.**

**“Thirty-one.”**

**“Hurry up, please,” Leeteuk croaked, biting his bruised and bloodied lip.**

**Doo-Joon made the final mark and dropped the glowing metal into a bucket of cold water. A few moments of silence and then the chains holding Leeteuk up loosened, dropping the blonde with a dead weight thump.**

**“You’ve done well,” he remarked, picking the starved boy up and carrying him out of the dark room. “Would you like to take a bath?”**

**“No…,” Leeteuk whimpered, knowing full well what the price of bathing was.**

**“Would you like to eat?”**

**“No,” the angel shook his head, breathing hard. Moving around, even without his legs holding him up, was agonizing. Everything was shifting too quickly and he sent his brain whirling. Leeteuk took a deep, shaky breath, seeing his chest cavity shudder in response.**

**Doo-Joon gently kissed the frail boy’s lips. “For the sake of your human shell, we should do these little things once in a while. Don’t worry angel…you’ve been so wonderful lately. We have to reward your injured body. It’s no good if you rise to the heavens again.”**

**“No… _No_ …s-someone will die,” Leeteuk sobbed, “p-please I don’t need it—”**

**“—don’t defy me, Angel,” Doo-Joon ordered softly. The blonde shut his mouth, eyes closing. No matter how many tears were shed, they never stopped. “Eat and drink and bathe,” he mumbled, “then I promise to caress you gently.”**

**“W-Why?” He felt the showerhead cascade warm water onto his dirtied body.**

**Doo-Joon knelt beneath the rain, lifting Leeteuk’s tired head up. “Because you are mine. You are mine to do with. You take the sin of only humans I choose. Likewise,” he lowered his gaze to the deeply etched scar on the blonde’s hipbone, “you are marked and to do only as I choose.”**

**He could do nothing but nod because really…wasn’t it true?**


	35. Chapter 35

 

**Yunho says: You’re so stupid. Why didn’t you tell me sooner? >__>**

**Sorry, everything sort of happened too fast. We have a board meeting in a few. We’ll talk then okay? –Leeteuk**

He dropped the phone onto the floor, slumping back down on the sheets. Leeteuk already knew that the dreams wouldn’t stop just because of the change in Kangin. There were far too many scars – both literal and figurative – that the simple affection of another person would never be enough. Being near Kangin soothed the darkest memories, but he would never be able to quell everything.

Kangin opened the door to their room, a towel around his bare torso. A faint blush rose upon Leeteuk’s features and he cast his eyes down. “Are you going out?” Kangin asked, drying his short black hair idly. A pair of sweatpants rode low around his lean hips. Although the broader boy wasn’t some body-builder, it didn’t mean he wasn’t attractive.

The most attractive part about him though had to be the flawlessness. Leeteuk envied him. He envied everyone who could easily take their clothes off. When was the last time he swam? When was the last time he changed in public like all of the other students? When was the last time he hadn’t flinched away from water?

Each and every time he gained confidence to bare his shame to the world; the scars would pulsate with unstoppable venom. They would hiss and devour all of the pride Leeteuk cultivated.

He absently reached out as Kangin came over to stand by him. With just his fingertips, Leeteuk touched a particular spot on the standing boy’s pelvis. It was clean…smooth.

“What’s up with you?” Kangin muttered, not moving away until Leeteuk dropped his arm.

“I have a board meeting so I’ll be gone,” Leeteuk said, ignoring the other one’s question. He sat up, running fingers through his slightly mussed hair. “Kangin…can I ask you something?”

The latter shrugged on his school-issued white button-down before saying, “What is it?”

“…Why do you like me?”

Kangin stiffened, turning around with his shirt half buttoned. “The moment I can answer that is the moment I know I don’t like you anymore.” He finished dressing and pulled on the school blazer. Leeteuk stayed quiet, pondering over the words offered to him. As if noticing the confusion, Kangin grabbed his stuff for the day and explained, “Liking someone is illogical. That’s why it’s impossible to say what makes you like a person. …I could tell you why I admire your student-self but…that’s not love is it?” He cleared his throat and headed towards the exit. “I’m meeting Eunhyuk. Bye.”

Then he was out the door, leaving behind a furiously blushing Leeteuk.

 

Yunho finished his explanation of the festival. There was no applause as everyone was in the same grade and rather friendly with one another. In the corner however, Yunho spotted Leeteuk silently applauding him. The prior rolled his eyes and dismissed everyone as the meeting had come to an end.

“Do you want to get lunch?” Yesung asked, looking at Yunho and then Leeteuk. “I heard that there’s some really good cake today.” He smiled at them naively, not realizing that there was far more going on than he would ever know.

“Yeah, we’ll join you guys a little later,” Yunho answered for both of them.

Yesung nodded and walked towards the exit to catch up. “Then I’ll save you a seat!” He faded into the group of chattering students, looking very much like a normal kid. Sometimes as Leeteuk studied his classmates and seniors he couldn’t believe all of them were from troubled backgrounds. It was astonishing how normal they all looked.

If he were allowed a peek into each of their lives, what would he find? Although Yesung wasn’t a troubled child – in fact he was rather blessed – he certainly wasn’t the happiest child. You could see it in his eyes. There were so many possibilities. Out of all the music concentration facilities in the world, why was Yesung sent to a reformer’s isolated school? Was there more to it than just the surface knowledge? Or maybe there wasn’t.

He would never know. He would never pry. With that lifestyle, no one would dare meander into Leeteuk’s life either right? That is, except for Kangin. However, it wasn’t the worst thing to have someone like Kangin in his life.

“Are you listening Teukie?” Yunho demanded, frowning at the seated boy.

Leeteuk blinked, refocusing on his friend. “Sorry, what were you saying?”

“I was asking you what happened with Kangin. Why was he in a dark tunnel underground?” he sighed, exasperated beyond compare. There were dark circles under his soft eyes.

A slight pang of guilt tugged at Leeteuk’s heart. Yunho must’ve searched a long time for him. Gently, he swept his fingertips across the purple eye bag. “Sorry…,” he mumbled, “and I don’t know what he was doing. It may have been an extended search into the underground area he’s been looking into.”

“Why is he looking into something like that?” Yunho inquired, brow furrowing. He leaned into Leeteuk’s touch, using his free arm to balance himself on the table as he leaned forward.

“I’m not sure,” Leeteuk replied, “I think it’s just a distraction though.”

“…Well tell him to find a new distraction,” the taller one remarked a tad roughly. His eyes darkened immensely as he slid a black and white photo out of his breast pocket. “This was taken last night just outside of the gates. Do you recognize that person?”

Leeteuk stared at the slightly blurred picture, his heart rate picking up from the possibilities. However, yet again, he didn’t recognize the darkly dressed person. “Just how many people are following Doo-Joon now?”

“I don’t know, but it looks like he’s threatening us huh?” Yunho said in a low voice, putting the photo away and glancing at Leeteuk’s carelessly buttoned collar. “What if someone sees the scars?” he sighed, easily correcting the awkward buttoning job.

“What if they did?” Leeteuk murmured, dazed.

Yunho paused, giving his friend a strange look. “What’s bothering you Teukie?”

The boy just shook his head, standing up. “I…I thought being open with Kangin would make me feel better…and it did. But it’s not enough. I told him the truth but just how much does that really _prove?_ Will the nightmares stop? Will I be able to remove my clothes without fear? What has being honest really done for me?” Leeteuk clenched his fists, abruptly deflating and turning away from a speechless Yunho. “I think I need to cool off.”

“Where will you go?” Yunho managed, unable to say anything else.

“The library…or somewhere quiet,” he replied, already walking away. “I won’t go outside unless it’s certainly necessary, don’t worry.”

Yunho stammered an “Okay” before the other boy was totally out of sight.

 

Kangin flipped through the last of the school’s history textbooks, looking for anything else worth researching. He glanced outside after a while, seeing the sun setting over the trees. It was sort of pretty in an eerie, picturesque way. His eyes trailed further away from nature until they landed on the softly snoring boy across from him.

Without much warning, Kangin kicked Eunhyuk from underneath the table and the latter yelped, jumping up, both knees slamming into the underside of the wood. “Ugh, what the fuck?” he groaned, dropping his head to the table again.

“Stop sleeping stupid,” Kangin grunted, scribbling a note about something interesting on some page or other.

From above, he heard a loud thud. Kangin’s eyes widened and he slowly stood up. Since when had someone been on the second floor of the library? Quickly, Kangin grabbed Eunhyuk by the back of his shirt and pulled him towards the spiral stairs leading up. Protests burst from the lanky boy but Kangin ignored all of them.

They arrived onto the narrow second level and Kangin caught his breath at what he saw. Slumped against the arch window was Leeteuk, his decorative glasses sliding down his nose. Those kind eyes were softly closed, a gentle orange-gold light pouring through the glass to illuminate his pale features. His normally crisp uniform was wrinkled and loosened around the collar, exposing far more of the boy’s neck than Kangin had ever seen. But really… it was just like seeing an angel. He had to blink several times to make the vision of blonde hair fade from mind.

“Whoa…,” Eunhyuk breathed, enraptured by the slumbering boy as well. Kangin roughly elbowed Eunhyuk, giving him an annoyed glare. The monkey-face raised his hands in peace and backed off towards the stairs.

Silently, Kangin glided over to Leeteuk, leaning over him. “What are you doing here?” he murmured, unable to look away from the noticeably exhausted face. The book that had most likely been lying in the slender boy’s lap lay precariously on the floor. That was probably the thud they heard earlier.

Leeteuk didn’t answer, just continued sleeping as if he hadn’t done so in many years.

Kangin’s eyes travelled down to the exposed collar. He had always imagined that Leeteuk would be some glowing being with the skin of…well, a heavenly being. Yes, he knew that the boy had been deeply part of gang violence and probably sported scars, but was it so bad to hope for perfection? Rather, he couldn’t see anything but a beautiful body to match that breathtaking face.

He thought like this for only a few moments longer because then the light from the window faded to reveal the very edges of long, wide marks across Leeteuk’s collar bones and neck. Kangin’s eyes widened, his lips parting in silent shock. Carefully, he pushed the white material further away from Leeteuk’s throat.

Before he could get very far though, a voice from behind stopped him.

“Investigating my school _and_ violating sleeping students? Goodness, you’re a very busy kid aren’t you?” Kangin turned around to face the current school director, Moon Hee-Joon

 


	36. Chapter 36

 

“I see you have an interest in our school’s history. But why is that?” Director Moon Hee-Joon asked, sitting at his desk and looking at Kangin.

Although Eunhyuk and Leeteuk were flanking him, their existence seemed to demand little attention from the director. Then again, the only one who really did anything spectacular was Kangin – what with his extensive research.

Leeteuk stifled a yawn. Really, he had been having such a good nap when voices were suddenly filling the library’s quiet. When he opened his eyes and saw Kangin standing so close to him, he nearly had a heart attack. Leeteuk had quickly buttoned his shirt and fixed the tie, hoping that Kangin hadn’t seen anything. That worry quickly disappeared once he noticed Moon Hee-Joon standing a few feet away. Just what had happened while he was napping?

“…I’m interested in the underground war base,” Kangin answered, his hands tightly clasped behind his back.

“Oh? You found one?” the director prompted, smiling and leaning forward on his elbows.

“I read about them.”

Moon Hee-Joon nodded carelessly as if he didn’t believe Kangin at all – which was probably true. “So what about them is of any particular interest?”

“…Can I ask you something instead, Director?” he inquired slowly.

“Ah, of course,” the older man agreed, fingers lacing to create a support for his chin.

Kangin paused for an extended moment. “…who financed that underground club?”

Eunhyuk and Leeteuk exchanged pale faces, both of them itching to shut Kangin up. Neither made a move though, too afraid of the consequences.

The director chuckled, leaning back in his chair and covering his face as the laughter continued. It took several minutes but once it stopped, a smirk was crossing his lips. “Of course, it would be me.”

Kangin really hadn’t been expecting him to blatantly admit it. Wasn’t that breaking a law or something? “Uh…what?” he managed, swallowing the amazed lump in his throat.

“Well who else but me?” Moon Hee-Joon shrugged. “It kept the kids happy after all.”

“Then why did you shut it down?” Kangin asked.

Leeteuk reached out to intervene but one look from the director stopped him in his tracks. Moon Hee-Joon cleared his throat and smiled, “Youngwoon, can you tell me what you know about the underground club?”

“Everything now,” Kangin answered, hands in his pockets, “except for why it was shut down.”

“What if I was to offer the entire facility to you?” the director proposed, seeming to ignore all of the student’s words. Kangin froze, jaw slackening. Moon Hee-Joon chuckled at the boy’s expression. “Really now, speak up kid. What would you say if I offered it to you?”

“…why would you…?” Kangin enunciated each word, eyes narrowing in puzzlement.

“After seeing how much you learned about it in such a short time…,” the man paused, “…I was rather impressed by your abilities. If you can apply yourself so much to something like this, then I don’t see any problems with giving the place to you.”

“You want him to reopen the club?” Eunhyuk blurted his mouth a gaping hole.

“Yes I suppose that’s right,” he replied, turning back to give Kangin a prospective look. “Will you?”

Leeteuk opened and closed his mouth, having the urge to speak and be quiet all at the same time. There were so many things wrong with the current situation and yet…what could he say? It was the _director_ of the academy. There was no possibility of arguing with him.

“I’ll answer you after you tell me why the place closed.”

The air in the room stilled. Moon Hee-Joon sighed softly and finally broke the silence. “They were found out by a campus supervisor and so we had to shut it down and expel them.”

“Excuse me?” Kangin retorted, trying to minimize the sharpness of his tone.

“Well it’s a very high risk operation. I can’t force you to take the position but I strongly ask that you do.” He nodded once as if affirming his own words. “There’s a _need_ for something outside of the school’s control. Students can’t be students all the time and during the time the club was open, everyone seemed far happier. However, due to poor ownership and even poorer planning, the secret-not really a secret club was closed.”

“You’re pretty crazy you know that?” Kangin remarked, mouth twitching from suppressed frustration. What the hell? Where was the merit in running a place like that? Furthermore, the stupid director who was behind it all wouldn’t even be on his side! Just how the fuck was Kangin supposed to agree under those terms?

“I get that a lot,” he said casually before leaning away and loosening his tie. “I’ll give you until the end of Winter Break to answer me. If I don’t receive an answer by then, just forget about this whole meeting. You may go.”

The trio stood stupefied for a moment or two, looking at one another for some sort of reassurance that all of that had just happened. Leeteuk was the first to move though, taking Kangin’s hand and pulling him towards the door. “Let’s go,” he requested softly, trying to get away from Director Moon Hee-Joon as quickly as possible.

Eunhyuk was already near the door by the time Leeteuk got Kangin to move his feet. He opened the door, the heavy white wood swinging outwards. They turned a corner and started walking faster – trying to get out of the building quickly.

Once outside, they caught their breath, relishing in the crisp, early December air. Eunhyuk gasped eyes bugging out. “Was that guy serious?”

“I think so,” Kangin muttered, a bit distracted by the slender hand still holding his own.

Leeteuk shook his head, eyes looking as exhausted as they always did. It seemed all of the strength gathered from his earlier nap had been depleted. “I thought he would’ve been a nicer man…”

They started through the campus, absently looking around as clubs were cleaning up for the day – their festival displays halfway completed. Overhead the sky was bright white, preparing for the first snowfall of the year. There was no wind to slice at their faces, a welcome weather condition. Leeteuk glanced down at his hand that was still in Kangin’s and a blush worked its way onto his cold face. Awkwardly, he tried to pull away and apologized but then the large hand was tightening around his and all thoughts of separating vanished.

“So you’re not going to take his offer right Kangin?” Eunhyuk laughed – gaining his composure the longer they were away from the director’s office. When the other boy didn’t answer, both Leeteuk and Eunhyuk stopped walking, turning to look at him. “Hey Kangin…you’re not actually thinking about it are you?”

He shrugged, not meeting either of their outraged gazes. “I don’t know…maybe.”

“You could be expelled,” Leeteuk argued, squeezing his warm hand urgently.

Kangin’s eyes flickered down to the boy and his heart beat just a bit faster. Really, why did he have to be so adorable? It made everything so much harder. His thoughts shifted as he recalled what he had seen prior to Moon Hee-Joon’s interruption. “Can we talk tonight?” Kangin whispered so only Leeteuk could hear.

Confusion swept over his face before his head lowered and rose once in answer.

“It’s cold, let’s walk faster,” Kangin stated, picking up the pace with Leeteuk jogging to keep up. Eunhyuk rushed to keep up, completely lost as to the certain turn of events.

 

 


	37. The Trial: Prelude

 

 

Leeteuk sat nervously on the edge of his bed, waiting for Kangin to speak. The current scene was becoming a bit too common. What could he need to talk about? As far as Leeteuk knew, he hadn’t let anything slip. After all, only a few days had passed since the confrontation right? Actually, it had been less than that huh?

 “Take your shirt off.”

His heart dropped. Leeteuk’s head bolted up, eyes wide in shock. “W-What?” he stammered, backing away from Kangin who stood in front of him. Subconsciously, Leeteuk covered his shirt with one hand, as if it would add protection.

Kangin kneeled down before the terrified boy, placing his hands on either side of him. “…Please take your shirt off Teukie,” he spoke gently, soothingly.

It only made Leeteuk more horrified. He shook his head desperately, inching away.

“Don’t be afraid,” Kangin urged, “just do this for me.”

***

Yunho turned off the shower, standing still for a moment. No one else was showering at that hour, the only sound being a leaky faucet and the soft pitter-pattering of his dripping wet body. He hadn’t wanted to scare Leeteuk. The guy had too much to deal with already and sending him panicking was the last thing Yunho wanted to do.

That’s why he hadn’t shown him all the photos. He hadn’t pulled out the half dozen more security camera still frames. He _couldn’t_. No matter how loyal Yunho was to Leeteuk and their cause to be free…he cared about the boy above all else.

His eyes narrowed as a chill wrapped around his ankles. The curtain of his shower rustled a bit, probably the heat vents – though they felt more like air conditioning. Yunho grabbed his towel off the hook, drying his body and grabbing the sweat pants thrown over the side of the stall. He tied the long black pants around his waist, towel hanging around neck.

Simultaneously, the curtain violently tore away and Yunho twisted his body, long, powerful leg launching outwards.

***

_Three…_

_Four…_

_Five…_

“S-Stop!” Leeteuk shouted quietly, pushing away from Kangin once more. His shirt was nearly halfway down now, revealing a horrendously contorted pattern of scars. Jagged white streaks sliced through the pale skin in incongruous patterns.

Kangin shook his head, reaching out to caress the quivering boy. Silently, he pressed their lips together, swallowing the shaky breaths and preparation for tears. Leeteuk crumpled into the kiss, eyes closing bit by bit. Below, he could feel one of Kangin’s hands working at the buttons again.

_Six…_

_Seven…_

_Eight…_

The shirt fluttered open, a chilly breeze rolling over his abdomen. Leeteuk couldn’t say anything as Kangin refused to break the contact, his hand returning to hold the slender boy’s cheek. They shifted on the bed, Kangin pushing Leeteuk towards the wall.

Gingerly, he pressed softer and softer against those hesitating lips. Finally, Kangin back away, his eyes opening and falling to the scarred body. He turned his eyes back up to see Leeteuk on the brink of tears. “…Do you see disgust in my eyes?”

Leeteuk swallowed hard. “No…”

***

He felt the sink slam into his lower back. Biting back a groan, Yunho dodged the berserk roundhouse from the darkly dressed figure. There was something terrifyingly lustful about the way his opponent moved – as if he really just wanted to rip Yunho to pieces.

Yunho caught the stranger on his rebound, snatching the back swinging leg midway and throwing him to the tile floor. Without pause, he smashed the person’s chest cavity with his arm, leaning close to the masked figure. “You’re with Doo-Joon aren’t you?” he hissed.

The person threw Yunho off, kicking himself into a standing position. Lunging at the shirtless boy, he withdrew a glinting object and thrust it forward. Yunho back tracked as far as possible but then he was hitting the wall as electricity coursed haphazardly through his blood and muscle.

Before Yunho could scream, an alcohol coated towel was shoved in his face.

Both tools were removed as the boy slumped forward, unconscious and paralyzed. His opponent caught him, throwing him over one shoulder as he walked towards the door. Two others were standing guard and turned to see that the first phase was complete.

“Are they here?” the one holding Yunho asked, removing his mask.

“Yeah, use the left stairwell,” another answered.

***

Kangin pushed the rest of the shirt away, taking in all of the marks. Some he could decipher and many of them he had no fucking clue what they were. It was…indescribable. He took a deep breath, glancing up at Leeteuk to ask, “Can I touch you…?”

“D-Do you want to?” he whispered, such familiar vulnerability dripping from his words.

He nodded slowly.

Leeteuk said nothing, which Kangin took as a yes.

The taller boy ran his fingertips over the landscape of crosses, trying to understand what exactly caused all of it. He reached Leeteuk’s lower abdomen, finding a peculiar mark upon his pelvis. That appeared to be the only purposefully created one. It followed a design and sank deeper into the skin than any of the others. The longer he examined it the more rigid Leeteuk grew, so Kangin moved away, circling around to see the boy’s back.

He had to swallow a gasp at what he saw. At first, Kangin thought the front was the worst thing he had ever seen, but then he saw the _back_ … There were parallel burns tattooing Leeteuk’s shoulder blade – five rows of ten and then an incomplete row of two. Kangin felt a magnetic pull to touch it, but he stopped himself, unsure of what those particular ones meant to the boy. So he slid lower, finding a long diagonal scar cutting straight through from shoulder to lower back. It was the widest…deepest of them all, seeming to have been reopened on numerous occasions. There were thinner lashes crossing it, sinking into the endless white.

“A-Are you done?” Leeteuk whimpered.

Kangin nodded but then he realized the other boy couldn’t see him. Carefully, he enveloped Leeteuk from behind, embracing him as if he were the most precious person in the world and at the same time, the frailest. “What happened?” Kangin managed, voice muffled against Leeteuk’s soft, thin neck.

“A lot,” he replied, leaning into the hug, arms tightly holding onto Kangin’s arms, “so much I could never tell you everything…”

***

They took the unconscious boy, tying him up and taping his mouth shut. “Are you coming with us?” the driver called to the retriever.

“No, they’ll get suspicious if I’m gone.”

There was no reply, just the start of the engine and a quiet click as the black door was shut. He walked back towards the dorm, taking his phone out as the same time. It was a sleek black flip phone with nothing in particular to distinguish it from the others, except for the tiny marker in the corner of the home screen. The mark could be described as red – blood red – with an eerily nostalgic crest in its center.

The figure dialed one of the many numbers in the phone, holding it up to his ear as he waited for an answer.

***

Leeteuk met Kangin’s lips, the kiss deepening in a matter of moments. If perhaps they were older and wiser the sexual tension wouldn’t have caught them. However, they were young and energetic – no matter what they had been talking so seriously about prior.

There was a strange calming effect on Leeteuk when he consciously thought about the warm fingers moving against his bare skin. Kangin truly didn’t think he was ugly…for a moment he could feel heat pumping into his veins, telling him just maybe…just maybe—

The phone rang.

Both of them broke apart, Leeteuk recognizing the ringtone as his. He crawled out of Kangin’s lap a tad reluctantly to retrieve his phone.

_Caller Unknown_

Leeteuk felt his blood draining from his face. The shaking was back. He answered the call, swallowing before saying into the device, “Who is it?”

“I saw you tonight. You looked so happy,” a scrambled voice replied. “You were nothing like the blonde beauty Hyung always talks about.” A chuckle. “When we told him he wasn’t very happy. But I guess that’s to be expected right? Hyung told us to remind you of those days. Aren’t you excited _Angel_? I sure am. Can’t wait to see how you save Yunho.”

“ _Where is Yunho?_ ” Leeteuk’s tone had chilled enough to send shivers crawling up Kangin’s spine. It was like listening to a whole different person. He watched the muscles flex on Leeteuk’s back – an action more menacing than anything he had ever seen.

“There’s a car waiting for you outside. Come out to play~! I promise it’ll be just like the good old days.”

“Fine.” Leeteuk was about to hang up when he heard soft laughter through the phone.

“The calm before the storm…it sure does _fucking suck_ doesn’t it, Angel?” Then the line went dead.

 

 


	38. The Trial: Part 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content.

 

 

Kangin could only watch as Leeteuk bolted out of the room, grabbing his white jacket on the way out. The door slammed shut before he even had time to process what just happened. By the time Kangin stood and stumbled towards the door, threw it open, and looked down the hall, Leeteuk was already out of sight.

Where was he going?

 

Leeteuk zipped his jacket up as he stepped outside, shoes crunching against the cold stone. There was a black car parked some feet away from him, a lone figure standing outside of it. His face was momentarily lit by the fire of a silver lighter.

“I’m here,” Leeteuk stated, taking slow steps towards the idle man.

A rough, calloused hand snaked around his chin, jerking his face up. “My…your face is pretty girly. Didn’t know Doo-Joon liked boys like you,” an equally gruff voice laughed, smoke spreading across Leeteuk’s face.

He brought an unforgiving knee into the large smoker’s gut, watching another puff of smoke burst from his lips. Leeteuk shoved the guy back, slamming the flat of his foot into the car door. The metal sank in slightly, a dent forming. “Drive.”

There was a moment’s pause before the man dragged himself around the front of the car to the driver’s side quietly grunting with effort as he tried to open the heavy door.

Leeteuk opened the passenger door, pausing when he felt something soft and cold melting upon his cheek. His eyes rose up to see the first snow fall of the year. Somehow it was sort of sad. He turned back to the black vehicle, opening the door fully and climbing in. This was supposed to be his first real snowfall. How had things gone so horribly awry?

The car smelled like liquor and cigarettes – as expected of scum. Cold wind spilled in through the open window, the driver’s arm hanging out with the lit cigarette. He drove one handed down the road, breaking all laws and speed limits, not that they were strictly enforced around the isolated forestry of the academy. “You cold?” the man grunted.

“No.”

“No need to give me attitude,” he spat, blowing foul smelling smoke out of his yellow-toothed mouth. “We might as well be friendly while we’re here in this car. It’s not like I’m gonna kill you or anything.”

“Is Doo-Joon paying you?” Leeteuk inquired coldly, tensely. This was no time for being soft or friendly. If at all possible he would avoid reverting back, but there was an important difference between acting as he had and being as he had been.

So long as Leeteuk didn’t pull another stunt like the one with Choi Seunghyun, everything would be alright. So long as he didn’t get that lust for power…yes, everything could be as it had been for the past two days. Except this time it wouldn’t be a calm before a storm. It would be permanent. He could return to Kangin’s arms and see where that led. He could spend afternoons drinking tea and chatting about school events with Yunho, Yesung and the rest of the board. He could be worrying about the next day’s exams instead of whether or not he would be able to save his best friend from criminals.

“That’s not exactly small talk,” the man remarked, hacking up something that Leeteuk didn’t even want to think about. “But yeah, he’s paying me. The guy’s fucking loaded. Did you know that?”

“…Last time I checked he was just another gangster.”

At this the man was laughing hard. He slammed his hand against the steering wheel, sending the car wobbling a bit. “ _Damn_ , you’ve been out of the loop huh? He’s living the sweet life right now. I wouldn’t call him a high society mobster or anything but the guy’s pretty fucking deep into our world.”

“Where are we going?” Leeteuk asked, ignoring the unwanted update about Doo-Joon.

“Ah, I was told not to say anything,” he chortled, accelerating as he threw his cigarette out the window. “We’ll be there soon so just sit tight.”

In a few minutes the car pulled up to a dark warehouse on the outskirts of a city Leeteuk didn’t recognize. There was something eerily quiet about it, as if everyone who lived there was terrified to simply breathe. The man said nothing as he lit another cigarette and put the car in park.

Leeteuk took that as a sign to get out. He gladly escaped the reeking vehicle, slamming the door forcefully.

Not even a minute had passed before he found himself blocking a leg aimed at his skull. Leeteuk grabbed the person’s ankle, throwing them into the shadows. There was a soft groan and then silence. He took cautious steps towards the open warehouse doors.

No one jumped out again. Leeteuk felt the ground shift from gravel to cement and a wave of nausea overwhelmed him. Warehouses…dark places…cement…was nearly unbearable. He forced the sickness down, venturing deeper into the black.

A cold, heavy object crashed into Leeteuk’s back, bringing him face down in the dirty floor. He rolled over in time to dodge a well aimed second strike, gliding to his feet lithely. How was he supposed to fight in the dark? Oh yeah.

Leeteuk lowered his eyes to the ground, straining his ears for where the wind was struck. A whizzing noise filled the air overhead and he swung his leg up in a high arch, catching someone’s neck with the front of his shoe. The clattering of metal followed and then the sound of plastic rolling away.

 _Night vision goggles?_ That was a new one. Abruptly, lights flickered to life all around and Leeteuk stepped back, spinning in a circle to get a feel for the land. Really…just like old times. His stomach churned at the sight of a couple dozen darkly dressed people surrounding him on all sides. None of them moved, standing at the ready to strike.

“You got here so fast~!”

He whipped around, spotting the voice. A boy leaned against a crate, the lower half of his face masked by black cloth. Yunho was strapped by chains to the wooden box, head lowered. “Yunho…,” Leeteuk whispered, daring a step forward.

All at once, the perimeter guards moved in. Leeteuk froze, tensing his body. “Guys, guys, chill,” the night’s conductor laughed, absently fiddling with Yunho’s chains. “The fun’s just starting. Isn’t that right Angel?”

“Why did you bring me here,” Leeteuk ground out, his eyes scanning – searching – for a way to break those restraints.

“Didn’t I tell you over the phone?” the boy answered rather pleasantly as he pressed down on a control switch. The sound of heavy clanging metal and groaning gears filled the warehouse, more lights coming on. Four conscious and bound people dangled several feet off the ground by metal chains – their faces covered by black bags. They writhed in the air, seeming lost and utterly confused. “I’m here to remind you of the past, Angel. Doo-Joon hyung really has no interest in meeting the present you so I have to fix that~!”

“Who are they?” Leeteuk asked softly, fear coiling in the pit of his stomach.

“No one you would know,” the masked person scoffed. “So let’s play a game Angel! You want to save Yunho right?” He leaned over the boy in question’s shoulders, eyes twinkling darkly behind his messy black hair.

There was no reply.

“I’ll take that as a yes.” The boy pointed at the hanging prisoners. “It’s them or you.” He chuckled. “We’ll kill all of them…or you can ‘take their sin.’ Which do you prefer Angel?”

 

 


	39. The Trial: Part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content.

 

 

_1…2…3…4…5…_

Leeteuk bit his lip, looking back and forth between the prisoners and his opposition who appeared to be watching the screen of a phone.

_6…7…8…_

“Why is Doo-Joon doing this?” Leeteuk demanded, stalling for time as he scrambled for a way out of the mess. He didn’t want either of the options yet he wanted to save Yunho. There was no way to fight his way out of the place. Furthermore, Leeteuk couldn’t be sure what would happen if he didn’t play by their rules.

_9…_

Would they simply send him to Doo-Joon to do with?

_10…_

The mere thought—

A guttural scream ripped through the air. Leeteuk’s eyes darted to the source. Yunho had already fallen back to his slumped position upon the crate, leaving Leeteuk to wonder what the hell just happened.

Glass shattered and forced his gaze away from his pained friend. The masked boy was twirling a butterfly syringe in one hand, the other holding his phone. “You’re too slow Angel,” he murmured, snickering, “If you don’t hurry up and answer me I’ll have to give poor Yunho _another_ injection. I don’t think he wants that…” _8…9…10…_ The twirling abruptly stopped, his agile fingers tightening around the syringe as he forced the needle point into one of Yunho’s pulsating veins. “Oops~! Looks like I’ve talked too much.”

Yunho groaned, coughing and shuddering. His skin was changing colors, becoming paler in some places and blotchy red in others.

“What are you doing?!” Leeteuk cried, lunging forward only to be beat down by heavy metal pipes. He slammed into the floor near the two shattered needles as well as the darkly dressed boy’s feet.

“Three more seconds, Angel,” the youth reminded casually, a third syringe balancing easily on his fingertips. “Two…one—”

Simultaneously, Leeteuk screamed his reply. But it was too late.

The needle plunged into a third vein. Almost as if it were a chain reaction, the sound of gunpowder and friction joined the chaos. Leeteuk froze, his eyes unnaturally large as he first watched a clear serum pour into Yunho’s blood and then as he listened to the final, muffled cry of a human life.

“Ah…sorry Angel,” he apologized blandly, tossing the emptied injector into the dark and straightening, “You weren’t fast enough. Just be happy that you answered before we had to kill more than one sinner.” The smirk on his face was almost visible through the black cloth. A smirk that Leeteuk wanted to rip off.

“You said you wouldn’t kill anyone if I said yes,” the floor flattened boy stated hoarsely, his eyes rimmed red.

The standing one could only shrug, closing a sleek black phone and tucking it away. “Well I didn’t lie. Games are a lot of fun, but listening to rules can be really boring so I just didn’t tell you,” he laughed childishly, kneeling down to be closer to Leeteuk’s face. “From the beginning, you had a limited time to answer me. For every thirty seconds wasted, I would have one of my guys kill a sinner. Good thing you answered before the other three were killed huh?”

“What did you give Yunho then?” Leeteuk snapped, still suppressed by the weight of three different pipes locking him down.

A strange little light sparked in the boy’s ugly black eyes. “For every ten seconds wasted, poor, little Yunho would be injected with a certain hormonal drug. I bet you can guess which one.” He glanced up at his followers, saying, “Strip him.”

Rough hands grabbed Leeteuk by the arms and waist, unzipping his jacket and jerking it away. When one of them reached for his pants, Leeteuk shoved his foot back, bruising someone’s leg. “This is good enough isn’t it?” His eyes were narrowed, mouth a set line.

“Yeah…,” the boy sighed grudgingly, “but I really wanted to see more. Y’know,” he circled the restrained Leeteuk, fingers groping his ass, “there’ve always been rumors about how tight you must be…I sort of wanted to see for myself.”

Leeteuk jerked away, glaring over his shoulder. “Stop fucking touching me.”

He made a small noise of disapproval as a white hot metal rod was placed in his hand. “See, that’s the problem right there. You’re all talk now Angel~! Hyung is the angriest about that.” And then the branding tool was burning a fresh tally mark into Leeteuk’s skin.

Blood dripped from his lip, the force of biting down tearing it open. It wasn’t nearly as violent as Doo-Joon but he wasn’t used to that treatment anymore. The feeling of his skin being abused had become a distant memory. Leeteuk tensed his muscles, head bowing.

“Two more to go,” the boy remarked, shoving the tool back into clean skin. Smoke rose from the mark, the smell of burning flesh joining the already foul scent of death. “I bet Hyung’s treatment is a lot better. Sorry that he can’t be here tonight.” He pulled the tool back, watching with fascination at how Leeteuk nearly collapsed from relief.

“Hurry up,” he whispered, head spinning painfully.

“You’re that eager to take sin?” his opposition chuckled. “Well, if you want it…” He made the final mark, pressing harder on that one. Leeteuk’s back arched, a low moan bursting from his bleeding lips. Scarlet droplets splashed onto the disgusting floor. “Let him go.”

Leeteuk dropped to the ground, gasping for air and hacking up nothing. Stomach acid dared to fill his esophagus but he shoved it back, forcing the nausea away. His back stung and sizzled, all of the muscles surrounding the spot spasmodically moving against one another. “Hah…ah…,” he breathed, saliva dripping from his mouth to dilute the blood stained ground.

“Aw, tired already Angel?” that fucking annoying voice sniggered, tangling his fingers in Leeteuk’s hair. He jerked the fallen boy’s head back, gazing down at the agonized face. “I thought you would have more stamina. Man, _only 8 months_ and you’re this out of shape? I totally understand why Hyung doesn’t want the current you. It’s rather pitiful,” he yanked Leeteuk up, pressing his cloth covered mouth to the prior’s ear, “Don’t you agree?”

He refused to reply, turning his eyes away from the speaker. Yunho was no violently shaking atop the crate, his chains clanking every few seconds. Leeteuk reached out helplessly, lips parting in wordless worry.

“Oh, I forgot about him,” the boy snorted, releasing Leeteuk and walking back over to Yunho. “Naw~ just kidding,” he said casually, coming up behind Yunho and wrapping his arms around the shirtless figure’s toned body. “Hey Angel, are you remembering?” The masked person prompted, fondling his friend’s chest absently.

Leeteuk nodded slightly, hatefully.

Another chuckle. “Well then get ready to remember some more.”

 

 


	40. The Trial: Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mature Content.

 

Shit, shit, shit.

Leeteuk struggled to his feet. “D-Don’t touch him,” he winced gripping his shoulder in hopes of cooling the pain searing his should blade.

“Why? He needs release.” The boy ran his fingers dangerously low, amused by the way Yunho reacted to the intimate touch. “You understand what this means don’t you Angel?”

He was quiet, unwilling to answer the taunting. It wasn’t quite pride that sealed his lips as it was pain and panic. What the fuck was he supposed to do? Watch as his best friend gets raped?

“Can’t you see the pure _want_ in his eyes?” He jerked Yunho’s face up and Leeteuk had to turn away, unable to look at that expression. “Even though I hurt him so much he still wants me to fuck him so badly~! It’s a funny thing isn’t it? …How unrelated love and lust are, I mean. You know where I’m coming from don’t you, _Angel?_ ”

Leeteuk shook his head desperately trying to drown out the familiar words. Everything was happening too quickly, too nostalgically. “S-Shut up…,” he couldn’t keep the quiver from his words, “Mind and body are linked…”

 He thought of Kangin. He thought of what a gentle caress the broad, warm boy had. Leeteuk had obtained affection… _he had…_ even for a moment. That was enough to prove himself wasn’t it? Things like love were possible for even a self-loathing person. Although he didn’t deserve it, for that split second, hadn’t Kangin showed him it was very possible?

A bitter laugh caught Leeteuk. “What are you spouting?” he scoffed, hand suddenly disappearing into the black material of Yunho’s pants. The violated boy cried out with a mixture of emotions, body lurching forward as chains rattled. “How could you _possibly_ think love exists when you’re watching your friend be pleasured by a _bad guy_ like me? It’s because of _that person_ isn’t it Angel?” His hand moved against the inner material, forcing another pleasured moan from the restrained boy. “He’s the reason you’ve become so lost among these humans, right?! That’s why you can’t even hear Doo-Joon-hyung’s teachings anymore.” The youth shook his head sadly. “You’re just so lost aren’t you?”

“No I’m not,” Leeteuk whispered, forcing his body to stay put. If only he could reach out those few feet and crush that teeny-tiny skull. “…E-Everyone—”

“—DON’T EVEN GIVE ME THAT FUCKING SHIT!” His voice resonated through the warehouse so angrily…coldly; it could’ve awoken the dead man hanging. “You’re so _stupid_ Angel! Being among these sinners has corrupted you. Hyung always said you were the greatest, kindest being and yet now I’m meeting you at your lowest point,” he spat. “Why can’t you _see the truth?_ Angels cannot be loved. Angels are only here to cry for the poor sinful humans. Angels were created to serve a higher power, live by a higher power, and be one with a higher power. Doo-Joon Hyung is patiently waiting for your revival and seeing you now…I can’t imagine what he would do.”

Leeteuk prepared to answer, prepared to defend himself – but then the masked boy was dragging a now unchained Yunho into the shadows. “Where are you taking him?!” he screamed, breaking into a clumsy run straight into the darkness.

No one tried to restrain him. Or rather, everyone had been waiting for this stage. They could see it in the beautiful, bleeding creature’s eyes. The despair, the mercy…all of it appeared blatantly on his face.

Those words had attacked Leeteuk like a fucking plague. It burned his healing soul and tore open all of Doo-Joon’s physical ‘teachings’. Every scar bled blue desperation, slowing his movements, fogging his mind, destroying his momentary resolve. Wasn’t it all so obvious? Leeteuk should’ve known there was no way to escape someone like Doo-Joon. He should’ve paid closer attention – should’ve stayed away from affection.

And because he didn’t, Yunho had tried to carry the burden of their pasts all by himself.

A metal door slammed somewhere in the close distance and Leeteuk came to a stuttering halt, stretching into the semi-dark. A cold handle touched his palm and he latched onto it, jerking the door open.

There was a red light staining the stark, dirty room. It spilled onto the three people inside, bathing them in bloody artificial color. Leeteuk shut the door, glaring at the still masked boy. “What are the rules?” he asked in a voice just above a whisper – the question razor sharp.

The youth snorted, turning away from a frustrated Yunho. “Rules?” he repeated innocently before laughing and walking up to Leeteuk. “No rules. Just a choice…a reminder really,” cold fingers traced Leeteuk’s cheek. “Angels are here to care for us. So care for your dear friend. Protect him by letting him fuck you. Or…if you’re so warped that _you_ come before the happiness of us then I’ll rape that cute little ass of his.”

Leeteuk’s lips curled back, face twisting in hate. “What are you trying to prove to me? I already know…I already know I’m not worthy of things like love! So why are you doing this?”

“Nothing,” he answered softly, shrugging one shoulder and stepping back, “I’m not proving anything. I’m here to remind you of the truth. Now make your decision.”

Without another word, Leeteuk shoved past the boy and crushed his lips against Yunho’s. There was no resistance, only a muffled moan and a hot tongue finding his. Strong, hungry arms wrapped around Leeteuk’s thin waist, smashing his body against Yunho’s. They melded into one another, cold skin stealing heated skin as heated skin relished in cold skin.

Leeteuk kept his eyes shut, not wishing to look into Yunho’s severely drugged face. It was his fault. It was his fault for not answering fast enough. If he hadn’t hesitated – hadn’t been fucking stupid enough to hesitate – then Yunho wouldn’t have been hurt. Leeteuk gently ran fingers through the tall boy’s hair, guilt gnawing at his gut at every moan uttered by the prior. A wet tongue swept over the smaller one’s cut lip making Leeteuk wince. However Yunho didn’t care, his mind far too muddled with lust.

As if to prove the point, his hands reached around those slender hips and jerked down the loose, low-hanging jeans. Leeteuk shivered, pulling himself closer to Yunho as needy fingers stroked his lower region. His breath was coming out in short, awkward gasps around the other boy’s viciously dominant tongue.

Abruptly, Yunho jerked back, leaning in to suck and bite at Leeteuk’s neck. “It’s so hot…,” he whispered in a small voice, glaring unremorsefully at the patch of skin currently under his attack.

“Y-Yunho…,” Leeteuk’s breath hitched, eyes squeezed so tightly it hurt.

He shoved the small boy against the wall, spreading his legs apart roughly. “I need you,” his words caressed Leeteuk cruelly – like the coldest joke in the world. Yunho did not prepare nor warn his friend as he penetrated him.

Leeteuk cried out, fingers clawing into the wall, nails chipping and bleeding from the force. Indifferent hands curled around his bare hips, bruising the skin as Yunho thrust over and over into the shaking body. Leeteuk swallowed the pleas for mercy. This was punishment for failing. He had been too weak. He let happiness blind the truth.

You can’t run forever.

You can’t pretend something doesn’t exist.

That’s why Leeteuk was being raped by his loyal comrade, brother, and friend. That’s why he had _made_ Yunho rape him. If he hadn’t tried to abandon everything, tried to escape reality, then reality wouldn’t have come searching for him.

He let his guard down. He let everything fall to hell. And now what? Now everything was worth nothing.

“I’m coming,” Yunho growled, holding himself inside Leeteuk as he released.

He groaned, thrashing against the wall, frustrated and tortured. The strength in his body depleted, muscles feeling like water. _All my fault…_

Yunho pulled back, turning Leeteuk around and shoving his tongue in between wet swollen lips. He wrapped a hand around the still erect member, stroking Leeteuk to a point. A whimper vibrated through the taller one’s mouth and he deepened the kiss as his thumb pressed down on the leaking slit.

“S…top,” Leeteuk managed around Yunho’s tongue, tears pouring down his face. Warm liquid seeped down his inner thighs, the mix of blood and semen stinging the brutally abused hole.

There was no reply, just an increase in stroke pace and a newfound urgency in their kiss.

***

Kangin sat awake in bed, glancing from time to time at Leeteuk’s empty bed. Then he would check the clock to see another hour had passed. By then it was already three in the morning and still no sign of the boy.

For the past several hours all Kangin could think about was how he hadn’t immediately ran after Leeteuk. If he had…it just felt like there would be less to worry about.

That in the morning he wouldn’t dread what was most definitely going to be a cruel twist of fate.

 

 


	41. The Trial: Conclusion

 

“L-Leeteuk?” Yunho whispered, holding his battered, bloody friend up. “What happened? Are you okay?” He shook Leeteuk gently, fear creeping into his heart.

Groaning, the small boy rolled, eyes cracking open. “You’re….you’re okay,” he coughed, sighing in relief but never smiling.

A part of Yunho chilled at the reaction. It was…wrong. “Hey—”

“—aw, don’t be so pushy,” a sickly sarcastic voice chimed in. “After fucking him raw, I can’t imagine he has the strength to speak. Do you, Yunho?”

Reluctantly, he twisted around and saw someone standing by the metal door, arms crossed over chest. Yunho didn’t answer nor comment as the words triggered memories of a red-dyed room, moaning and an inconceivable amount of fluids.

“Angel, you’re awake aren’t you?” the masked boy inquired.

Leeteuk shifted in response.

“Good, because I wanted to tell you that I had lots of fun last night~! I hope it reminded you of the good old days,” he snickered, “There’s a cab waiting outside for you. It’ll take you back to your quaint little academy.”

“Why did you do all of this if you were just going to let us go?” Yunho hissed, glaring loathingly up at their captive.

He tilted his head humorously, shoulders rising and falling in a short laugh. “I wasn’t told to deliver Angel to Hyung…yet.” The boy tossed Yunho a blanket, sauntering out the door. “No worries though, this is just the beginning. After all Angel, you still haven’t returned to your former glory. There’s so much to _remind_ you of! I’m excited just thinking about it.”

Yunho wrapped the blanket around his shoulders as he carefully picked Leeteuk up, hiding the boy in the shadows of the sheet, against the heat of his body. “Don’t listen to him,” Yunho tried to force truth into his words, a sense of assurance.

“He’s right,” Leeteuk mumbled drowsily, eyes shutting, “I should listen…because he’s right…”

 

Eunhyuk wasn’t sure why he woke up early that morning. It had been a restless night, though he wasn’t positive why. Maybe it was due to everything that happened with Director Moon Hee-Joon and Kangin and just… _everything._ But anyway, that morning, as dawn broke, he couldn’t help but find himself strolling through the campus absently.

There was something peaceful about the day. Maybe it was how the sky was painted pale blue instead of murky grey white. Or perhaps it was the lack of wind, allowing the winter chill to be less than threatening.

He found himself at the school gates and frowned. How had he gotten there? Eunhyuk turned on his heel, planning to turn away and walk, but he stopped. Why? It was a feeling.

And then that feeling was answered.

Coming down the road were two figures. Eunhyuk slowly moved towards them, squinting his eyes as the sun began rising over the trees. “Hey!” he called unsure of whom exactly he was addressing.

A minute or so passed before the people were at a distinguishable distance. Eunhyuk’s jaw slackened and then he was dashing forward, heart pounding in shock.

Yunho didn’t meet the other boy’s eyes; instead, he simply pulled an unconscious Leeteuk closer to his own body, the blanket around his shoulders fluttering about the small bruised boy like a cloak.

“H-Hey…what happened?” Eunhyuk croaked, blinking and hoping that he was just seeing things.

“Tell your friend, Kangin,” Yunho said softly, still refusing to look at the stunned boy, “…it’d be better if he stayed away from Leeteuk.”

Before a reply could be produced, Yunho was already walking away, his mind working overdrive to figure out how in the hell they had gotten past the school gates. How had they managed to get inside the school with so little trouble?

His eyes travelled around the mostly empty school, catching the looks of a few early-risers. The majority looked away seemingly uncomfortable with the sudden eye contact. Yunho had to wonder…who was on the inside?

 


	42. Chapter 42

 

**Flickering yellow circles imprinted on the cracked concrete. There were lurkers forcing movement in the supposedly silent shadows – waiting for something. They had long since kept an eye out for the particularly calm house right on the border. At times it seemed as if ruin would befall such a base, yet somehow, they continued to survive on the edge.**

**Blonde hair flashed in the broken street lamps, darkened by the sour yellow illuminations. The head swayed back and forth, discolored in obscured patches. Overgrown tresses found their way around the gaunt, pitifully young features, uneven colors creating deeper shadows around the person’s large, downcast eyes. His jacket was torn and old, simply as abused as he was. There was quiet around him, pure and unwavering quiet, as if the world found his forsaken soul worthy of mercy.**

**Trash cans rattled in the near distance, effectively jolting him out of his trance. The boy’s ripped sneakers dug deeper into the gravelly trail as he broke into a bumbling jog. Ice cut his sore red throat, October’s chill invading the thin layers of skin and weather-worn clothing.**

**His breaths fell harder as heart pounded faster, feeding on the last bursts of burnout. The discolored blonde hair bounced and swished, an internally glowing beacon as it faded into the lurkers’ shadow.**

**“So close…,” he mumbled aloud – or, at least he supposed it was out loud. His throat wasn’t burning any more than it had been moments before, so…maybe he hadn’t spoken. Either way it didn’t matter. No one was coming thankfully. For another minute he could think for himself rather than for his livelihood. It was pleasing, almost hysterically pleasing. The boy had to suppress his laughter, suppress his presence.**

**Oh the cruelty of life! Why must _he_ fear for per second while others curled upon cozy couches with lovers and family? To whom did he owe gratitude for the earthbound hell given to him? In a past life, had he murdered millions? Or had he been so filthily rich and comfortable that _this_ was punishment for greed of happiness?**

**For whatever he had done, he was truly sorry. He regretted something he hadn’t known occurred. But perhaps there was a way out.**

**Yes, that was it.**

**He slowed his steps as he found the entrance to a long since abandoned parking garage. The once sturdy levels were cracked and crumbling in places – perfect.**

**A smile curved his pale, parched lips as he used the bits of energy still coursing through blood to kick down the door blocking the stairwell. He climbed haphazardly upwards, hoping not for a sign but hoping for freedom at the end.**

**Screw the journey. Screw survival.**

**He wished for death. He wished for a new start. He wished…**

**The exit had arrived. The top floor was within his reach.**

**“Leeteuk.”**

**The boy froze, one hand trembling as it gripped the chipping door frame. His heart dropped at the rich voice reverberating through his one track mind.**

**“Leeteuk, stop.”**

**He swallowed hard, breathing having suddenly grown heavy. “No…I-I can’t. I’m so close,” Leeteuk whispered, this time feeling the coarse rubbing of his swollen esophagus.**

**“Why are you doing this?” the somber voice inquired, light footsteps producing the softest sounds against concrete stairs.**

**Leeteuk’s eyes darted to the moonlit shadows creeping up behind him. “I…I don’t want to fight anymore…I…,” tears splattered the floor before his feet, “please don’t make me hyung… _please._ ”**

**A solid, warm hand pressed against the bloodied and battered blonde’s palm. Slowly, calloused fingers entwined with his, tugging Leeteuk through his supposed final exit. Eyes widening, he struggled against the sudden act. “W-What’s going on?” Leeteuk croaked, raising his hand to rub at the reddened throat.**

**DaeHyun’s figure was dark and looming – an astounding picture of beauty. His body was clad by the shadows, though of a different sort from the lurkers; he appeared to birth his own shadows of a company unknown. Grave black eyes captured Leeteuk’s, dragging him forward, towards the moonlit edge. “Come.”**

**Jerked forward by some force, Leeteuk slipped into DaeHyun’s embrace, eyes spinning as they caught sight of the ground four stories below. “Hyung…?” he peered up, seeing the unmoving gaze of the older boy.**

**“When I told you,” DaeHyun tightened his hold around Leeteuk’s waist until their bodies were flush, “and everyone else two years ago that I came to protect you all, I wasn’t lying. Do you know what we are Leeteuk? Do you know the meaning of being in a gang?”**

**Leeteuk said nothing, waiting for the words that would undoubtedly turn him. It had all been so well planned. At that point, Leeteuk already knew he wouldn’t lose himself that night. Either it was too soon…**

**“Gangs are not drug dealers banded together. Gangs are also not a place for misfits to gather and rebel. Gangs were created to protect their own. Family.” DaeHyun leaned back against the cold ledge. “It appears I’m the only one who still knows that and I intend to stay uncorrupted. That’s why I’ll go with you Leeteuk. I brought us all together because I want to protect what we have created. We’re not just foster brothers. We’ll be family for life and death.” He smiled slightly then, just a ghost of curved lips. “If you want, let’s go to hell together.”**


	43. Chapter 43

 

Loud voices bounced off the door. On the inside was a slumbering boy; a boy who in fact, had not awoken for three days. He had been breathing easier since the retrieval and his muscles had warmed a bit day by day. However, the raucous noise jolted his body like a defibrillator, jerking him out of a black sea and into the bright confines of reality.

Leeteuk opened his eyes, wincing and closing them just as quickly. The limbs and joints that made up his body moved inharmoniously or just didn’t move at all. When he attempted to flex his fingers, they shifted like broken keys of a piano groaning out a tragic finale. It was not from lack of warmth, thankfully, but rather, a lack of use and perhaps a dozen or so bruises.

As he once again tried to move his fingers, the door burst open, slicing into his hazy thoughts like a razor blade. Leeteuk flinched away, rolling his head to one side uneasily. The movement had caused quite a few cracks and shivers to run under his skin.

“Leeteuk…”

The boy’s eyes fluttered open at the voice. His lips parted as he turned his head. “K—”

“What did you do?!” Kangin hissed, curling a fist into Yunho’s collar. “You said that he wasn’t that injured, that he was just tired and a little sick. Is that what you consider a little sick?”

The latter did not reply, instead shooting Leeteuk a look saying ‘welcome back’.

“Kangin,” Eunhyuk whispered as he shuffled over to the bedridden boy, “I think he woke up because of all the noise you were making earlier.”

A light flush ran over Kangin’s face at the statement. He awkwardly released Yunho, stumbling around to kneel beside Leeteuk’s bed. Although his expression was a tad off, the worry and hysteria in his eyes were all Leeteuk needed to see to know what was truly running through Kangin’s mind…

And he hated it.

“A-Are you better Teukie?” the tall boy asked softly, extending his hand to hold those rigid fingers. Warmth burst from the touch, shocking Leeteuk’s internal chill. Though his movement continued in its limited ways, there was something noticeably different after Kangin’s approach.

 _But…_ “Yeah, I’m better,” Leeteuk mumbled, keeping his eyes averted, “just tired….”

Kangin seemed to let out a long withheld breath and slumped forward. “You’ve been missing for three days…,” he murmured, gently squeezing the other boy’s slender hand, “I…I didn’t know what to do.”

This was wrong. This was horribly wrong. Leeteuk shifted in Kangin’s grasp, feeling the grip loosen. Taking the opportunity, Leeteuk slipped away, his hand falling a few inches from the other boy.

“You shouldn’t be here.”

Kangin’s eyes widened slightly. “…What…do you mean?”

Leeteuk slowly shook his head, the soft pillow cushioning his bruised skull. “You…,” his voice was low, intimate, “…shouldn’t be near me…anymore.” He swallowed hard, eyes locked on a particular spot of rumpled bed sheet near Kangin’s resting hand.

At that point, both Yunho and Eunhyuk were out of sight, the door silently shutting behind them. The mood had shifted so drastically there really was no place for them in the space. Neither Kangin nor Leeteuk noticed though. It would have been surprising had they been aware of anyone else aside from one another – at least, in that moment.

“But just a few days ago we were…,” he fidgeted, not used to expressing his emotions in such a forthright manner, “well, we were becoming… _something_ , weren’t we?” Kangin shook away the heat creeping towards his face. “You trust me don’t you Leeteuk?”

“It was a mistake,” he murmured, mentally locking away the desperate desires, “he’s right…I don’t deserve you…,” Leeteuk’s voice had nearly fallen off the grid, becoming puffs of air rather than words.  

Kangin sat on the edge of the bed, leaning down to caress the laying boy’s thin face. “What are you talking about? No one can tell you what you deserve.” He watched a strangled emotion warp Leeteuk’s eyes – a reaction that effectively sent shivers down Kangin’s spine. “…Seriously, what happened when you disappeared that night..?”

“You don’t understand Kangin,” he whispered, “…so just—”

“—I _don’t_ understand. That’s why you have to explain it to me. How else do you think I’ll know?” the other boy demanded. “Something huge as hell happened. So tell me what it was so I can help you.”

This was precisely what Leeteuk didn’t want. He didn’t want comfort. He didn’t want Kangin’s sympathy. He loathed it all. He loathed the kindness. He loathed his own ugly self. The things that had happened…how could he say them out loud? How could Leeteuk further taint the precious, warm hand holding his face so tenderly? Leeteuk shut his eyes tightly, shifting away from the gentle touch. Kangin was becoming contaminated and would only grow worse if he spent anymore time in contact with a filthy thing like Leeteuk.

“It was a mistake. You don’t know me enough to care for me this much,” the slender boy croaked, forcing truth into his words, “I’m not special…I’m so many other things that shouldn’t even exist. So don’t be fooled, Kangin…I’m just a liar.” The words were mechanical, lacking the proper emotion for execution.

Yet, somehow, Kangin believed every word.

Perhaps that was a true test of their relationship’s frailty. Had it been someone else, would they have doubted him? To doubt is to be earnest. So really, Kangin was not sincere. What a relief.

Leeteuk felt as if he should be smiling at the outcome, but there he was silently pleading for Kangin to turn back around and come towards him. He begged for the last few moments to be erased from history and replaced with sweeter memories of them together – enough to show how love had grown between them.

But, for now, it was done.

The door clicked and Kangin’s voice filled the air. Leeteuk’s eyes opened at the unexpected sound. “Don’t let people into your life if you’re just going to push them back out.” Then the door was closing and Leeteuk was left with those words pounding in his mind.

What had he been expecting? Kangin had shown so much tolerance and openness already. How could Leeteuk actually hope for _more?_ Really, happiness was blinding. Happiness and warmth made you selfish and greedy. Until that moment, Leeteuk dared to say he had never longed to be spoiled before. But seeing Kangin walk out on him…

“You’re not alone, Leeteuk.” Yunho had lain down beside his friend, under the sheets, placing an arm around the slender boy’s head and the other arm across Leeteuk’s bruised waist. He brushed a kiss against soft black hair, holding the boy as closely as he could.

Leeteuk leaned his head into the embrace, unable to move any other part of his body. No. It wasn’t Kangin…or DaeHyun. But neither one of those people were going to reach out again, right?

***

Eunhyuk scrambled to keep pace with Kangin. “W-What are you doing?!” he screeched as they neared a large and looming building. “Why are we here, stupid?”

“Shut up you monkey,” Kangin snapped, throwing the front door open and storming inside the facility.

They sped through the distastefully familiar halls until they reached a particular door. “Oh no…,” Eunhyuk mumbled as he realized they arrived much faster than he had expected. Before Kangin could grab the door handle though, Eunhyuk snatched his arm, forcing him back as best he could. “Think about what you’re doing! This could get you thrown back on the streets!”

“Does it look like I care?” Kangin growled, breaking the skinny boy’s grip easily. He shoved the door open, its wood panels flying out of sight as Moon Hee-Joon replaced it.

The school director looked up from his papers and a smile crossed his lips after seeing Kangin. “Ah, Youngwoon,” he greeted merrily, “are you a bearer of good news?”

“I’ll do it.” Kangin stared down the director, waiting for a response.

Moon Hee-Joon chuckled. “Wonderful!”

 


	44. Chapter 44

Time-worn stained glass windows lined the small church. Four rows of creaky wooden benches filled the small room, a single white aisle breaking the seats apart. There was no one visiting that morning except for a boy who kneeled before a glowing white cross.

His hands were clasped before his chest, head bent forward in silent prayer. Dark hair sparkled beneath the light of the altar. The features were well illuminated and soft and although his eyes were closed, there was something undeniably beautiful about him.

A black jacketed figure opened the church door. His gaze fell upon the bowed boy, a smile breaking his lips. “Beautiful…,” DooJoon murmured as he took slow steps up the white aisle.

The young boy lifted his head, arms dropping to either side, eyes partially opening. “DooJoon Hyung…,” his voice was soft and melancholy.

“What is it, my beauty?” DooJoon crouched down behind the seemingly sad boy, encircling his arms around the slender shoulders.

“I…If I do as you say, will you stay near me?”

He removed one leather glove, pressing fingers against the smaller boy’s jaw to tilt his head back. “Why are you worried?” DooJoon inquired, kissing the side of the other’s head. “Don’t fear, just believe in me. I’ll be with you because you are my Saint. And all we need is for you to bring our precious Angel back.”

“My…?” he whispered, brown eyes liquefying vulnerably.

“Yes, you are mine,” the taller boy smiled, pressing lips against the boy’s quivering ones. “You are _my_ Saint. Follow me and you will always know someone needs you.”

The boy sighed, a breathtaking smile of relief crossing his face. “Thank you hyung…I’ll get our Angel back…I promise.”

“Good,” DooJoon hugged him tighter, fingers brushing over the younger one’s sweater possessively, “I’m going to go back and take care of some business okay?” he stated not unkindly, kissing the boy one more time before releasing him and standing.

“I understand, hyung,” he replied, “will you come see me next Thursday too?”

“For you,” the older boy chuckled, slipping his glove back on, “of course.”

And then the boy fell back into prayer position, fingers clasped together as he lowered his head with renewed vigor.

DooJoon gazed at the figure for a long moment before turning around and walking out of the church.

 

Nichkhun toyed with his jacket zipper as he leaned against the church’s wooden wall. Winter chills nipped his thin, exposed neck. How had he forgotten his scarf? Sighing, Nichkhun stuffed his hands into pockets and nuzzled into the soft material of his jacket.

A black cloth brushed against Nichkhun’s lips and he blinked, raising his head. “It’s cold today, Khunnie,” DooJoon remarked, tying the black scarf around his lover’s neck, “if you get sick we’ll be troubled, hmm?”

“Oh…sorry, Joonie,” Nichkhun smiled, snuggling into the material and hugging the taller man’s arm. “When will we see Angel again…? I miss him a lot…”

DooJoon rubbed the boy’s cold fingers with a leather gloved hand as he replied, “Eventually. Angel is in a dark place right now and we need to help him find his place once again. Until then, meeting with one another will be a bad idea.”

Nichkhun nodded sullenly, blank eyes downcast. “Ah…I understand. I’m sure Angel will be much better in a little while. Our sweet Saint is doing well too right?”

“Yes he is,” DooJoon mumbled as they entered the black car waiting on the street, “he’s exactly as I want him.”

 


	45. Chapter 45

 

Kangin sat on top of the freshly cleaned bar, watching as darkly clothed movers assembled and positioned black circular booths around the perimeter of the underground area. Their shoes scuffed the cold concrete, bringing in dirt and slush from the forest.

A warm object pressed against Kangin’s cheek, jolting the boy out of his thoughts. Annoyance entered his eyes as he took the hot drink from Eunhyuk. “Was that necessary?” Kangin huffed, holding the cup with both hands.

“You didn’t have to do this you know,” Eunhyuk mumbled, sipping the hot cocoa and swinging his dangling legs.

Kangin watched as another stylish booth was completed and bolted into the floor. The whole process was so…real. What the hell had he gotten himself into? That’s what he had been muddling over since construction began some days ago. Why in fucking hell had Kangin been so _stupid_ and decided to take the offer? There was nothing good about it for him. He didn’t even like people all that much! How was he going to run a teen club, of all things?

“It’s a little late, don’t you think?” Kangin replied.

Eunhyuk sighed. “You were too rash that night.”

“Shut up, monkey-face,” he snapped, using all his willpower to not squeeze the drink, “I know already so stop talking about it.” Kangin brought the cup’s edge to his lips, taking a quick swig without care for heat. Rich, searing liquid burned his tongue. The boy winced and set the drink down – a precaution to prevent more careless sips.

“…Did Teukie upset you that much?” Eunhyuk prompted, apparently unable to shut up.

Kangin leaned back on the counter, closing his eyes. “No it wasn’t that. Just…he doesn’t know how to rely on people. He thinks that since it’s all about him, no one else is affected. The kid is so wrong though.” He shook his head, glaring at a pair of movers bringing in the last of the booths. “I was mad that he made a decision without telling anyone. So I wanted to get even and apparently that was a stupid decision.”

“You can say that again,” the other boy snorted.

“Would you…,” Kangin cut himself off, already too tired to argue with his friend. “Just…do you get what I’m saying?”

Eunhyuk nodded slowly, “You don’t like that he pushed you away?”

“Obviously.”

“Well from what I’ve gathered it’s not surprising that Teukie would do something like that.” Eunhyuk glanced at Kangin, trying to gauge his reaction to the statement.

The latter frowned, straightening and shifting to more fully stare at Eunhyuk. “What?”

“Well, you said that Teukie used to do some crazy shit right?” He waited for confirmation and once he received it, Eunhyuk went on, “people like that aren’t consistent. They snap and get emotional randomly. After all, how else could you explain Badass Teukie to Squeaky-Clean Teukie?”

“But…,” Kangin chewed his lower lip, “we got so far. He told me about his past…sort of, and I swear to the fucking gods that we were getting closer.”

“Then I guess you gotta find out what happened during the time he disappeared, huh?”

“ _He won’t tell me!_ ” Kangin hissed, feeling exhausted, “That’s the whole point! If he won’t tell me then I’ll never know. That’s the bottom line.”

Eunhyuk rubbed his forehead. “This is aggravating.”

“No shit.” Kangin hopped off the bar counter and slipped on a long black coat. He buttoned it up and popped the high collar in hopes of keeping his neck warm. “I’m gonna head home for the day.” Kangin grunted, leaving behind his friend and the drink that burned him.

“Oh…okay,” Eunhyuk mumbled to the air. He stayed sitting there, watching the workers finish for the day, pack up and start heading towards the door. There was no real reason that he stayed for so long, it just didn’t feel right to head out.

He needed a reality check. He needed to know that what was happening was real. It certainly didn’t _feel_ real. Had he really decided to sign a contract with Moon Hee-Joon as well? Why the fuck had he put his name next to Kangin’s? Was it brotherly love?

Ah shit. It was brotherly love.

Eunhyuk finished his drink as the final mover left the vicinity. Then he was alone with the half finished club, an empty cup of hot cocoa, and a strange bubbly feeling in the pit of his stomach – anticipation. As for what, who could say? There were so many choices. Too many choices.

“H-Hello…?”

His groaned tiredly. Company was the last thing he wanted. “Who is it?” Eunhyuk called, looking at the person standing on the staircase across the dance floor from him.

If that cup hadn’t been empty then Eunhyuk would’ve been a whole hot mess just then.

The young boy looked around the club uncertainly, a pair of glasses on his nose and a small stack of books in his long, slim arms. Soft black hair littered with snow danced around his sharp, thin features and though all of that was true, his eyes were so kind – so gentle. “Uhm, I saw some people moving in and out so I was wondering what was going on. Is something happening way out here?” he fumbled for words, shifting on his feet.

Eunhyuk shook himself out of the daze, refocusing on the boy for a second time. “No…well, something is happening but it’s still in progress so don’t tell anyone okay?” He grinned and winked, straightening his posture so as to lean forward – closer.

“Ah, okay!” the boy laughed sweetly, purely.

It was breathtaking. Simply breathtaking.

“What’s your name?” Eunhyuk asked, smiling as he drowned in the situation.

“I’m Zhoumi,” the boy replied quickly, face flushed and bright, “I’m going to be a freshman this coming year.”

“Ah…I see. I’m Eunhyuk, a second year this coming term.” And just like that, their worlds were aligning just like their stances. The thin stream of light flowed between them, straight band unbreakable and illuminating the dark.

Often times, as two worlds collide there will be two outcomes: harmony or destruction. But hey, that’s obvious isn’t it?

 

Kangin peered up at the bright white sky, wondering if it was the first snow fall of the year. Maybe it had already snowed. He couldn’t recall anymore. Wouldn’t it have been so dramatic had it been the first snow fall? It would have definitely been a perfect time to run to Leeteuk and tell him all of the things that had been bothering him.

Movies really made you think funny thoughts huh?

A thin layer of snow rested on the ground, stirring with every step Kangin took. His fingers were balled into fists inside the jacket pockets, hoping to keep warm in the…windless, snowy night. Kangin sighed and took his hands out; unsure of what he was doing – what he was supposed to do.

Eunhyuk made sense. The damn monkey was speaking the truth. But again, how was he going to get Leeteuk to speak about anything…?

 

 


	46. Chapter 46

 

“All of you are going to be moving into the Honors Dorm this coming term.”

Leeteuk’s eyes widened as he gazed at the StudGov president issuing the statement. He stayed silent though, waiting for some sort of explanation. Of course Leeteuk already knew what the Honors Dorm entailed, but it was the pure fact that he was a freshman.

Normally, that particular housing district was reserved for seniors; so why were they changing it up that year?

The room they had been ushered into had richly colored walls and a large open space for conversing or any other things that possibly recovered free range. It appeared to be a meeting room at times as well but Leeteuk couldn’t be sure. At that moment he was too focused on the person speaking – telling him about his future.

All around there were equally surprised freshmen, though many of them were leaning towards positive surprise rather than negative. Leeteuk internally sighed. Why was he associating the Honors Dorm with negative feelings? It was everyone’s dream to live in the beautiful, large, elite building and here he was, being _told_ to live there!

Why wasn’t he happy?

“As all of you know, the Honors Dorm is for students who have shown exemplary grades, leadership and outstanding behavior and are third years. However, our school director has decided to change the rules,” the President explained, smiling professionally at the saucer-eyed underclassmen, “This year, occupants will consist of prominent club board members, StudGov, and all students in the top ten percent of the school. As you can see, that is still a very selective group.” He made a flourish with his arm to indicate the miniscule number of audience members. “There will be roughly twenty of you living together until graduation probably.”

The Student Government secretary cleared his throat and took over the explanations. “Usually rankings won’t change and board members also change very little, or they go on to form the future StudGov.” He clapped his hands, looking around, “Alright, we’d like everyone to go around and introduce yourselves before we take you all on a tour of the dorm.”

Loud chattering began at once, effectively irritating the secretary who had the sour job of herding everyone towards a common topic.

Leeteuk listened to each person introduce themselves, his mind a blank slate. It was only once the “prominent club board members” finished their introductions did he begin tuning in. The next ones to speak were going to be him and the rest of the Freshmen Board.

“I’m Yunho,” the boy beside Leeteuk introduced, smiling in that eye-catching, charming way, “it’s nice to meet all of you.”

Leeteuk stood up once his friend took a seat. “Hi, my name is Jungsu, but I go by Leeteuk as well,” he smiled in that angelic, horrifyingly luminescent way and just maybe a few of his future dorm mates winced, “I’m really happy to meet all of you and I hope we can get along well.”

Once he took a seat and Yesung stood up, Yunho nudged him, saying, “You’re so cute Teukie.”

“Be quiet,” Leeteuk scolded, eyes twinkling in wry amusement. It was the pressure to please. He didn’t want to come off bad and his fall back personality always came to light. It never felt fake…perhaps a bit forced at times, but overall Leeteuk wasn’t lying. He would truly enjoy getting to know his dorm mates and he was surely happy to meet all of them. The only lie had been his amplified perkiness.

“I am Yesung,” Yesung waved slightly, a smile on his lips, “nice to meet you all.” He took his seat and turned to grin happily at Yunho and Leeteuk. “Can you believe this is happening?” he whispered, eyes bright with glee.

“Nope, not at all,” Yunho muttered, his words laced with meaning.

“Not really,” Leeteuk replied, blinking away the melancholy.

Confusion furrowed Yesung’s brow but then he shrugged it off as the board member introductions for all levels ended and the top ten percent started.

The first person to speak practically jumped to his feet, a smile brimming on his face. “My name is Lee Joon!” he stated happily, “I’ll be living with all of you from now on so there are a few things I should tell you. First, I really like to exercise so if anyone likes running or sports then tell me and we can go out hang out. Second, I love the nighttime so if I volunteer for patrol duties don’t think I’m weird.”

Leeteuk stiffened, eyes darting to Yunho as if to ask if he just heard the same bizarre remark. Was it possible?

Yunho did not confirm or decline, simply stayed still with his eyes peeled on the exuberant boy named Lee Joon. There was certainly something strange about his words…but if it was the same person who attacked them, wouldn’t he have been coyer?

“Alright everyone, we’re going to start the tour so get into groups of four,” the president announced.

The Freshmen Board was never all that close. It was mainly Leeteuk, Yunho and Yesung – oh, and occasional Hangeng but often times the Chinese student was being dragged off by a pretty boy named Heechul.

“Hey, can he be in our group?”

Leeteuk and Yunho turned to see Yesung awkwardly pointing at the boy clinging to him. Lee Joon grinned at the pair. “Is that okay?”

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Yunho answered politely, the slight pulsating vein in his neck the only indication of his true tenseness.

“Is this your group?” one of the StudGov members inquired, smiling at all of them. Leeteuk nodded and the older boy led them out of the room towards the stairs and eventually out the door.

Yunho stayed close to Leeteuk as they entered the cold outdoors, his hand brushing reassuringly against his friend’s hand. They shared a long sideways glance, silently debating the couple walking just in front of them.

It didn’t seem like Yesung knew what could be lying beneath that smile on Joon’s face. Furthermore, what would happen if their little, non-foster kid friend got involved with a potentially murderous kidnapper?

They exchanged one last nod and then Yunho was moving away from Leeteuk to catch Joon and Yesung’s shoulders. The two in question turned around curiously, still standing close together. “So Joon,” Yunho began, increasing the charm tenfold, “you seem really close to Yesung but I don’t really recognize you. Are you two good friends?”

Joon laughed and hugged Yesung tighter. Alarm rippled through Yunho’s body at the possessive movement. Leeteuk caught his breath, trying to calm the rapid beating of his heart.

“Oh, Yesungie and I are childhood friends,” Joon explained cheerily, “we usually don’t hang out at school since he’s always in the music department and I’m in the regular department. It’s awesome that we can spend time together again though. Don’t you agree Yunho?”

He had to shake away the shudders before forcing a wider smile and nodding at the question. “Yeah, being reunited like that is really cool,” Yunho replied with much effort.

Yesung offered a small smile. “I actually forgot that Joon went here.”

“What?!” Joon exclaimed.

“Just kidding,” Yesung chuckled, leaning against his old friend easily.

“Yeah, okay,” the latter muttered teasingly, lips twitching at the corners.

Leeteuk wasn’t sure what exactly he felt in that moment, but it definitely wasn’t relief. But for now…it seemed like everything could stay…as it was.

A heated hand caught Leeteuk’s elbow, stopping him in his tracks. Carefully, the white clad boy turned around, feeling a disconnection between his movements and the flow of the world. Even as the snow continued drifting, spiraling, dancing…it wasn’t playing to his tune of life. The waves were clashing and hopefully it would birth harmony, for so many times prior it had birthed destruction.

“Why are you here?” Yunho snapped.

Leeteuk shook his head at his friend, the tingling melody dragging him in like a siren’s song. “Go without me.” His eyes stayed locked with the black clad boy even as he addressed Yunho.

Kangin nodded slightly, tightening his hold on Leeteuk’s arm. “Yeah, go.”

 

 


	47. Chapter 47

 

 

They walked in silence through the campus, towards the disappearing flood lamps and eventually towards the perimeter. Leeteuk felt himself starting to tense a bit, but then the hand around his tightened and he let himse+lf fall into the moment – only a bit though.

“Hey.”

Leeteuk peered up, surprised by the abrupt greeting. Neither one had uttered a word since Yunho had grudgingly stepped back. “H-Hi…,” Leeteuk replied, focusing his attention back on the ground before his feet.

“…I’m sorry about what I said,” Kangin blurted, looking around sheepishly, “I was really frustrated, so sorry. I didn’t mean to just snap and walk out.”

At some point they had arrived in the forest, towards the secret underground club. Leeteuk noticed but said nothing, trying to understand instead what Kangin’s motives were. Why did he bother with someone who pushed and cried and was _just so weak?_ It made no sense. Had Kangin known exactly what Leeteuk had done over the years, would he have had the same reaction – the same persistence? Probably not.

“I don’t know why I’m out here,” Leeteuk breathed, trying to let go of Kangin’s hand. “We shouldn’t be doing this. I don’t know why…I don’t understand.”

Kangin refused to listen and he pulled Leeteuk faster through the dark towards the club. There were some mild protests but all of them were ignored until they finally reached the small clearing and shaded trap door. Kangin whirled around on Leeteuk, gripping the slender boy’s shoulders and sighing.

“H-Huh?” the smaller one blinked.

“I took the club.”

Leeteuk fired back immediately, cold blood running through veins, “Why would you do that?”

“Because,” Kangin muttered, “I was really angry that night and this seemed like a good…or really good bad idea. I just wanted to do something stupid. And now I have.”

“You signed a contract too?” Leeteuk questioned softly. His heart was pounding viciously but he didn’t mind. The adrenaline wasn’t from fear; it was from childish, storybook fear. They were floating mindlessly together, through the sea of high school and romance and surely not death and kidnappers. It was a nice fantasy, pure but exhilarating. And in those moments, he wished panic’s absolute maximum was the fear of Kangin being expelled from some dolled up reform school.

Kangin nodded, happy that he was being spoken to so blatantly. However, why couldn’t Leeteuk speak like that when it came to his own life? Why could they only act like a normal high school couple – or whatever they were – and not a _real_ couple? Kangin knew there were far more important things to be thinking about…yet he couldn’t tear himself away from the sweet bliss of faux anxiety.

“At the start of next term, I’m going to be heading the club,” Kangin explained, his arms slowing moving to encase Leeteuk’s waist.

“...Why are you telling me about it?” he murmured, gazing up at the taller boy, watching precious, ignorant snowflakes lay upon his black jacketed shoulder.

Kangin leaned his head down, swallowing hard as he resisted the temptation to press a kiss to those reddened lips. He pulled Leeteuk closer until their bodies were flush and warm, a wall erecting around their forms. “We…have something here, I thought,” Kangin whispered.

“I…yeah,” Leeteuk answered, “but, it’s over now isn’t it?”

“Why?” His cheek brushed subtly over the smaller one’s forehead.

“I’m going to be even more involved with the school,” Leeteuk’s breath hitched as he felt Kangin near his lips, “and you’re going to be doing the opposite. We…We can’t be together like this anymore, right…?”

Thoughts of expulsion rattled Kangin’s brain. “Oh hell,” he chuckled sadly, “is this the last time then?” He wasn’t sure why he was being so calm. Maybe it was because he had finally lost it. Yes, that was definitely the reason. Otherwise he should’ve been yelling and venting and trying to pull Leeteuk to a place right beside him.

Instead, he repositioned his arms so they were holding the slender boy’s face. Then the music began, velvety bells tolling the fresh hour. Leeteuk’s mouth formed a small o-shape at the sound. “Since when did we have a bell tower?” he mumbled, fingers pressing against Kangin’s wide chest.

The latter didn’t answer the question. He kissed Leeteuk hard and long as the midnight hour passed, the snow slowed, and the final bell echoed away…

 

 


End file.
